Obligatory New Year's Post

I've been debating about what to post for my "obligatory New Year's post" this year. I was going to post a recap of the past year, but I thought that might be a waste of time considering I've been keeping this blog for that purpose (although I've been slacking lately, yes). So I don't think I'm going to do that. But I thought this might be a good time for reflection.

2017 was rough. This past year....I keep calling it "shit-tastic." Because a lot of it was shitty. But a lot of it was fantastic. It was the biggest, craziest rollercoaster ride I've ever been on. In the end, I feel like I've grown a lot as a person. I will always need improvement, obviously. But I think I've gained wisdom and perspective. I've gained life experience. And hopefully I can use those things to become a better person in the upcoming year.

2018 is going to be a big year. It just is. Either David is going to come back home and we will start working to rebuild the life we had before this whole mess went down; or he's not going to come back home and we will start working on a new life/adventure down in Mexico together. Regardless, we WILL be permanently reunited this year. I will be damn sure of that. That man is my life and I can't live without him. I've been living apart from him for way too long already. I refuse to do it anymore, and if something doesn't happen soon (we're talking the next few months) then that will change.

So yeah. It's gonna be a big year. But as always, we are going to take what life throws at us and just react to it in the most positive way that we can. I am a part of some deportee/deportee wives groups on Facebook, so I've had a lot of support from people going through the same thing as me, which is so, so great. You have no idea what a difference it makes to be able to talk to someone who really, legitimately UNDERSTANDS what you are going through because they are going through the same thing--rather than someone who is just listening to you vent and feeling sorry for you because of it. Sympathy vs. empathy. I always remember one of my college professors going into that concept in detail. It's the difference between me relaying my story to a friend, or a customer at my bar, or a family member, or an acquaintance. I tell them what is going on and how I feel. They are sympathetic to my situation because they feel badly for me. They wish I didn't have to go through this. They want things to be different for me. They feel sorry that I have to deal with this. I appreciate that, but I don't necessarily want it--do you know what I mean? I don't want anyone to pity me. I just want to relay the information of what I'm going through so people know and understand. But the sympathy, I could really do without. Although I appreciate that it's coming from a place of love and caring. It's hard to explain.

Now, when I'm a part of these groups of women on Facebook, American women who have Mexican husbands who have been deported and now they have to figure out their life going forward--it's a COMPLETELY different ballgame. It's EMPATHY. It's someone who is going through the same situation that I am, who understands what that means on every level, who can relate, who is actually feeling the same feelings that I am! The first time I found that was back in March, when our lawyer put us in touch with a woman from Illinois whose husband was in custody at the same facility as David (down in Louisiana) and going through the same U-Visa process as we were. We ended up spending a good two hours on the phone together. I cannot even tell you how therapeutic that was, I would say something and she would be like "YES I KNOW!" and vice versa. It was like we were the same person talking. And for the first time since David had been taken into custody, I didn't feel *ALONE* in this situation. There was someone else in this world who was going through exactly the same thing. Who was trying to figure out what to do with her husband's business if he got deported (her husband did end up getting deported a little before David). Who was struggling with so many of the feelings I was as well. It was a comfort in a way. To have someone to relate to.

And then I started exploring groups on Facebook, visa groups and immigration groups. And I ended up being added to a private group for wives of men deported (not necessarily only to Mexico, but mainly Mexico and South America). And let me tell you--meeting hundreds of American women in one place who were in exactly the position I was.....it's life-changing. It's like one of those support groups in church basements, except it's online. And you can post whenever you want instead of having to wait for meetings, and people will listen and talk back. I can speak freely on there. Like I said, it's a private group--you have to be recommended by someone and screened before you're added (Dude, I get it, this is a pretty sensitive topic nowadays) and most of us have formed a pretty good relationship. We can all post whenever we want, whatever we're feeling or going through, our experiences, our journeys. And everyone is so supportive of the others, because obviously we're all dealing with this horrible, painful, difficult time in our lives. Some of us are married, some are only engaged, some have kids, some are willing to relocate to Mexico, some can't because of obligations in the States, some are fighting their cases and others are just facing that there's nothing they can do so they have to choose between living apart and seeing each other only every so often, or relocating from America to Mexico. Regardless of it all, each and every one of these women's lives have been changed drastically. It's no longer a simple option of "Well you're married, can't you make him legal now?" because of all the laws put on the books in the past 20+ years. It's a long, difficult, expensive road and it isn't even guaranteed to be successful. It's so sad.

Anyway with that sidenote aside (lol) my point is that we are actually very blessed. A lot of couples in our position have it a lot worse. They have kids, the women have good, decent-paying jobs in America that would be hard to leave and relocate to Mexico, or they do leave their lives here but they are living in rural areas which is a COMPLETE culture shock, or they can't leave the country because of family obligations (caring for elderly or handicapped family members), or they move down there and can't find work because they don't speak the language, etc etc. With our situation, our assets, our long-term plan....we could live a good life down in Mexico City while we wait to hear about the U-Visa. And if that's denied, we could file the marriage petition, and once that is approved we could start the waiver process, and with my legal knowledge thanks to my legal studies degree and experience in the law (regardless of none of it being in immigration law) I understand the system and what is required and I would be comfortable doing that process on our own. Not to mention--again--the numerous Facebook groups I'm a part of and the experience and help they offer each other in applying for and filing visas and waivers. Screw paying an attorney. I'm more than capable of doing it for myself.

Anyway, bottom line....2018 is gonna be major. Time will tell what the hell is going to happen. But at the end of the day, as long as I have my husband and my family by my side (not necessarily physically, but THERE), I can do anything. And I will.

I'm Different.

Life is a crazy thing.

One minute we're on top of the world. We've made mistakes in the past, we haven't done things the way we imagined we would. But we've emerged from that and made a new life for ourselves. We are finally, unimaginably, happy. We have found our soulmate. We are content with our chosen profession. We have a loving family unit and a strong group of friends. We do things, we experience life, we take advantage of all the opportunities that come our way.

And then in one fell swoop, it just all comes crashing down.

I remember the person I was before August 10, 2016. But I don't remember what it felt like, and I don't think I ever will.

I changed that day. I knew it, I felt it, as soon as I got that phone call from David. That was it.

I haven't been the same since. Obviously, given what we went through, especially those first few months, it was a rollercoaster. I was up, I was down. I had days where I didn't get out of bed. I drank too much. I ate too little. I barely slept. I lost weight and I felt like shit. Everything was uncertain; everything was stressful.

Thankfully, life has righted itself just a little bit since then. Even though the answers we've gotten thus far aren't what we wanted, at least they are ANSWERS. Going through almost an entire year with no answers, essentially in limbo, having to keep your life on hold....it's not a fun thing. But in July, at least we got ONE answer. And at least David and I were able to be together again because of that answer. Despite it not being the answer that we wanted, at least we were reunited and I was able to be in his arms again after the longest year of my LIFE.

We've been reunited. We've finally gotten married. We are finally able to call each other husband and wife. And I love that. I love all that. And even if we hear nothing about the visa and I end up moving to Mexico in the spring, at least I will get to live with my husband once again. We will be together every day without having to leave each other for months at a time. I just can't do that anymore.

It just sucks because life is so different now. I am such a different person than I was before August 10, 2016. I can feel it. I try to be optimistic and positive and happy and clowning around and making people laugh. I try to be the loud, obnoxious, dramatic Lauren I used to be. But I'm really not. There's a sadness in me now. A sadness that mourns the life we had and the life we thought we would have in the future. There's a defeat in me, that things are probably going to be much different than we had imagined, and maybe a little bit more difficult. There's a wistfulness for what I had wanted in the future that might not ever come to be. And there's a fear in me, that I might have to move to a new country to be with the man that I love more than life itself. A country where I don't speak the language, I don't know the customs, I'm a target because I'm a blonde white girl, I'm a foreigner, I'm looked down upon, I'm taken advantage of. Of course I'm willing to deal with all of that to be with David, my soulmate, the love of my life. But it doesn't make it any less scary.

I've lost interest in everything here that I used to love. Holiday-related events, new restaurants, Chive-related things, even going out with friends. It's so hard to do any of that if it's not with David. Because EVERYTHING makes me think of him. And if he's not doing those things with me, it's not the same, and it just depresses me even more.

I wish things didn't have to be this way, but to be fair, I also knew the risks going into this relationship. And I was willing to deal with those risks, as has hopefully been made obvious in recent months. I will never forget when this all started happening, and during one particular phone call, David tried to give me an out -- "Baby, I know this isn't what we wanted or expected. I won't blame you if you don't want to deal with this. It's a lot. So don't feel like you have to stay." I was like "ARE YOU F&*#ING KIDDING ME?!" Because the fact of the matter is, regardless of the difficulties and the curveballs and the shit life keeps throwing at us, I'm in this for life. David knows that now. We've come a long way since August 10, 2016.

And we still have a lifetime to go. Together. <3

Am I a Slacker or What?!

So here we are again, months later with no update!! There are so many times I get the inspiration to write, but I just don't have the motivation. It's something I really need to work on in the new year.

Anyway....I went back down to Mexico in October, and my David and I finally got hitched!! <3 <3

Para siempre, mi amor.

Yes, everything worked out. I went down there for about two and a half weeks. Unfortunately, it wasn't all fun and games that time, as most of the days were spent fulfilling obligations--going to city hall, taking pre-marital classes, filing paperwork, and then actually planning a wedding in just a few days, when we decided to do it at his house rather than the courthouse! But it was all good. I wouldn't have changed any of it for the world. I got to spend almost three weeks with my love. Despite the obligations, we got to spend a lot of time with his family, go to parties in the neighborhood, attend his nephew's (sobrino's) wedding, and of course get married ourselves! It was the fastest two and a half weeks of my entire life. And of course when it came time for me to leave....it was yet another sobfest.

I think both of us had a pretty hard time after that. Imagine getting married to the love of your life--and then having to fly to another country and be separated for an indefinite amount of time. Especially right before the holidays. We both had a little bit of a hard time being apart after that. So much so that I was like....okay dammit, I am going to go for just a couple of days in December just so I can see him before my next long trip. So I took off a Tuesday/Wednesday from work, and flew down that Sunday and came back on Wednesday. That way I could be gone for four days, but only take two days off work.

It was definitely worth it. And it so happened my trip occurred over Dia de la Virgen de Guadalupe, which is a HUGE holiday down in Mexico!! So I got to enjoy all the festivities surrounding that, which was amazing and so much fun. And of course I got to see my love, as short as our time together was. It was absolutely worth it.

And now here we are. Nearing the end of 2017. I was going through photos from this past year, and just thinking about how much time has passed. I see photos from earlier in the year, and I think--wow. That feels like it was five years ago. But in reality it was only like seven months. Time is a crazy construct. But I will most likely elaborate on my whole "year in review" in a post in the next couple of days.

In the meantime, most everything is the same. We are still waiting to hear about the visa, although with every day that passes, I lose a little more hope. We are still together and still committed to each other. We are married and we are in this to win it. But come 2018, things are going to start moving, no matter what the federal government, USCIS, or ICE tells us. There will come a day where we will eventually refuse to live with the restrictions they have put on our lives, take matters into our own hands, and make the necessary moves to finally be together for good once again.

My Trip to Mexico!

Well would you look at that. Over two months later and I realize I never posted about my amazing trip in July to Mexico City to see the love of my life!!!

Gosh, how to condense it! So I left early (we're talking EARLY) Thursday morning (7/27) for the airport. My flight was at like 7 AM, so I got to the airport a little after 5 thanks to my gracious friend Jeff for offering to drive me to the airport and not taking no for an answer! Unfortunately I had only gotten like an hour of sleep so I was not exactly in tip-top shape. I slept a little bit on the plane, then had a layover in Houston where I had a nice hearty breakfast and bloody mary. I was soooo tempted to fall asleep on the airport floor during the remaining hour of a wait I had for my flight, but because I was alone, didn't want to get my shit stolen, and wasn't entirely confident that I would wake up OR have anyone else wake me up, I forced myself to stay awake. Made it on the connecting flight. Attempted another round of a nap and caught myself snoring a couple times (I apologize to the woman sitting next to me, LOL).

Soooo stinkin tired!

And then I landed in Mexico City!!

Let me tell you something. It was strange. For the first time in my life, I was a FOREIGNER! For the first time in my life, I was in a place where the first language was not English. And I was ALONE. It's very hard to put into words how vulnerable that makes you feel. Of course the signs had English translations (thank GOD) but it was still a very tentative situation for me--while at the same time being a little bit exciting. I had no idea what to expect.

I'm officially a Foreigner. EXTRANJERO!

I made my way through the line up to the customs officer. She asked in Spanish if I spoke English and I said si. She stamped my docs and sent me on my way. Then I had to make my way to baggage claim. I was so nervous I was at the wrong conveyor for a while until I finally saw one of my bags! Got all my bags loaded on to the cart, and then had to make my way to security. Woman again asked me (in Spanish) if I spoke Spanish and I said no. She told me to press the button to the left (which apparently decided if you get your bags randomly searched or not, though I had no idea). The light turned green--and I was free to go!

So I walk up to the automatic doors that take me out to where everyone is waiting on arriving passengers. It took me two seconds before I saw David across the barrier thingie, waving at me to get my attention. My heart just STOPPED. I couldn't believe he was right there in front of me, right across this walkway. He started making his way toward me and I just left my baggage cart and ran up to him and hugged him as hard as I could--and the tears just started IMMEDIATELY. Every single emotion of the past year just flowed out of my body. The anxiety, the heartache, the pain, the stress, the uncertainty, the worry, the ups and downs and the love and the hate and the frustration and the joy and all of it. I knew it was the toughest year of my life. But I had no idea what I had bottled up in myself until that moment right then. We just stood there and embraced and kissed and embraced and I just cried and cried, we're talking heaving sobs and running mascara. If I could pick one moment of my entire 34 years that I could stay in forever, it would have been that one--just relieved, happy, in the arms of my soulmate, not caring about absolutely anything else in the world.

So happy you can't see how horribly I was crying!

Oh and he dressed up. And he brought me a dozen roses. And he looked sooooooo damn handsome!!! *SWOON*

Great, now I'm crying just reliving that in my mind. Awesome.

Okay so his friend's brother ended up driving us back to his house where he's living. And guess what?? David's family was throwing me a surprise party!!

It was amazing. We walked in, they threw confetti, a bunch of people showed up, everyone was soooo nice and welcoming and amazing to me despite the language barrier. There was a lot of love in the room that evening. Despite running on E, I had a really really great time with them all. Amazing food, great music, dancing, and fun. I couldn't ask for a better reception!

There were a lot more people than are pictured here!

At some point in the night, I just absolutely needed to sleep. I was running on fumes and I had to sleep, so David took me upstairs, gave me some earplugs, tucked me in, and then went back down to join the party while I got some much needed beauty rest!! ;-)

The remainder of my few days there consisted of morning coffee/Monster on the balcony, wandering around his neighborhood, meeting up with his family and other friends around town, exploring, going downtown CDMX to see the sights, and just enjoying being with each other all day, every day. I had the most amazing time, and I really fell in love with Mexico City. It is a beautiful, amazing place with a lot to offer. And David's neighborhood in Iztapalapa was just so unique and beautiful and I loved it! There were so many things we weren't able to do this time around, but hopefully on my next visit we are able to!

Morning coffee

David's barrio

La Michoacana!

View from David's rooftop

I just LOVE the colorful houses!

Going downtown CDMX was interesting. We took public transportation, as David doesn't have a car down there. It was definitely interesting. We took a cab to a bus to the Metro, and at some point I was like...."We're still in Iztapalapa?!" Apparently it is HUGE! I had no idea. I thought it was like Brookfield, or Naperville, but no. It's more like MANHATTAN. And Mexico City as a whole is almost 1 MILLION PEOPLE MORE than NYC itself! Talk about HUGE!

But again, we got to see a lot. And I LOVED it. I cannot wait to go back and see more.

Monumento a la Revolución

El Angel de la Independencia

Zocalo

Zocalo, view from the top of El Catedral

Torre Latino

Festival of San Martha

Rollercoaster!

Benitooooo!

Con pulque at Rancho Loma Ancha

Benito Juarez Hemicycle

Palacio de Bellas Artes

Mezcal!

Amor

Trolley ride in Coyoacan

Amazing food in Coyoacan!

Gorditas deliciosas!

 

 

 

Mi amor y yo

And that is a somewhat condensed version of our time together in Mexico City. Needless to say, being a big city girl, I fell in love with it there. The neighborhoods have charm. It's sooo different from America but it's a beautiful kind of different. The city is huge and amazing and has so much to offer and so much to explore, I can't wait to experience it all. Now to just learn the language so that maybe if and when I do have to move down there, I can actually get around by myself!! That is the biggest obstacle I want to overcome. There is NO way I could travel this city by public transportation, not knowing the towns/city/currency/language. I have a lot to learn but I'm willing to do it.

The hardest thing, obviously, was leaving my love. David brought me all the way up to the security gate where he couldn't proceed anymore. At his words, "Well....I guess this is it" I hugged him and immediately burst into tears worse than those which I arrived with. I didn't want to leave him. And even though I knew before that moment that he was my soulmate and the one I couldn't live without, that moment only solidified it even more. I didn't want to let him go. Everything in me wanted to just say "SCREW IT" and forget going back to the States, and stay there with him, and just start all over and let everything here go. But I knew I had to go back. So we did the whole "movie-goodbye" thing where I held on to his hand until I couldn't anymore, and then I mouthed "I love you" and he mouthed it back right before I disappeared behind the glass of security. And then I just dissolved into tears again. God bless the woman in front of me who simply held out her travel pack of Kleenex so that I could take one for myself. I wanted to hug her, but I thought the situation was weird enough as it was.

I cried a lot more that day. Sitting waiting for the plane, cried (during which I almost had a moment of temporary insanity of "WHAT IF I JUST STOOD UP AND MADE A RUN FOR IT AND DAVID AND I RAN AWAY TOGETHER FOREVER"). Getting on the plane, cried. Taking off from the runway in Mexico City, cried. Checking my passport into Customs once I arrived back in America (you can see from the photo they took of me, how pissed I was to be coming home). Waiting two hours again at the Houston airport to fly back to Chicago, cried at the bar. When I finally got home, I had no tears left.

The only time I've ever *hated* being in America.

Going "home"....even though it felt nothing like that anymore.

Of course I had hoped to go back in September, but due to other circumstances, I had to move my trip to October. And now here we are! Five days away from getting to see him again!! Back in August when I returned, I felt like it was going to be FOREVER before I could see David again. And it has been a very, very long wait. But we're in the home stretch! And this time, I get to be there for over two weeks! *AND WE'RE GETTING MARRIED!!!!!!*

Well, I hope we're getting married at least. Still working on all that mess....aaaand that should come in a future post I'm sure!

And so it is.

On July 6, 2017, David was deported back to Mexico.

Reading that sentence, it seems very harsh and callous. But ultimately, that is the reality of our situation, the reality we have come to accept.

Everything that I wrote in my last entry still holds true. We are still awaiting a decision on David's visa, and if that comes soon, this could all be over relatively quickly. But even if it doesn't, we still have options.

The most important thing, and the BEST thing about our situation right now, is that in a little over 24 hours, I will be on my way to the airport, and shortly after that I will be on a plane to Mexico City!!

Yes, I will FINALLY get to be reunited with my love!! After all this time....Almost a whole year apart from each other, we will finally get to be together again. FOR REAL.

I absolutely cannot wait. I haven't been this excited for something since I was like 8 years old and still believed in Santa Claus. I honestly feel like a little girl; every time someone asks if I'm ready for my trip, or am I excited? I jump up and down a little and kind of let out a little squeal. It's a little weird to be honest, but I can't help it! :-D I'm kind of bummed that I'm only going for a few days this time, but at this point I'll take whatever I can get. And we're also going to plan my next trip, most likely sometime in September, and for 2-3 weeks that time. I cannot WAIT!!

So yeah, there's definitely a silver lining. David is free, and he'd much rather be free in Mexico than be locked up in that prison for one more day. He's living in his parents' house down there, making repairs, cleaning it up, and getting it lived in. He has a bit of family nearby so he's always visiting with people. He applied for a bilingual customer service and sales position with AT&T down there, had two interviews....and we just found out today that he was hired! And of course I'm coming down this week...so things are good. Or as good as we could hope for them to be at this point.

The future may still be uncertain, but I'm faithful that God has a plan. This is making us stronger in the long run. And it is a true test of our relationship and future marriage; if we can get through this? I'm convinced we can get through ANYTHING.

But for now, I'm just counting down the hours until I am no longer separated from the man I love with all my heart.

Life Happens.

Well, it appears as if David's case is finally nearing an end. However, it is a very real possibility that it will not be the "end" that we were hoping for, unfortunately. The way things are moving now, we have had to address the "what if" situation of David being sent back to Mexico. Obviously that is not what we WANT, but it very well could happen at this point. Everything is hinging on his 9-month custody review decision. The officer assigned to his case (which is different than the officer who made the decision to continue detention at his 3-month and 6-month review) has submitted his recommendation to the ERO headquarters in Washington, DC. They are the ones who ultimately decide whether to release David, or continue to detain him. Unfortunately at this point, according to our attorney, if the decision is made to continue detention, then they will most likely remove him from the country instead of keeping him in custody. The policy regarding U-visa petitioners has changed, and they have decided that individuals who have applied for that visa don't necessarily need to wait for the visa while they are in the U.S. They can just go back to their country to await a decision. I believe this is partly due to the current administration's immigration policies, but also partly due to the fact that the number of U-visa petitions that come in are just growing like crazy every year. At this point, there are over 100,000 pending U-visa petitions--up from less than 50,000 just three years ago, and less than 20,000 five years ago.

Obviously we are hoping for a decision to release him. At this point that is the best-case scenario we can hope for. Unfortunately, there is a very slim chance that they will make that decision. It is more likely that they will decide to continue detaining him--and therefore send him back to Mexico. Although it's not what we are hoping for and definitely not what we want, there are a few silver linings in that case. The first of course is that he will be FREE. Even if he's in a different country, at least he is FREE. He no longer has to be locked up and restricted and all that crap. The other is, even if he gets sent back to Mexico, his visa will still be pending a decision. Since it appears that a decision will be made in the next month or so, ICE may not bother to remove the expedited status once he is out of custody, and we will still most likely hear something about the visa soon. If it gets approved, then we can start the parole process, and hopefully he would only be gone about three or four months total. Yes, it would suck for him to be stuck in custody for 11 months and STILL get sent back to Mexico in the end, at least the fact remains that because he was in custody, his petition was expedited, and that of course was a benefit to his case as well. And at least then, I can actually fly down there and go see him and be with him and we can be together again, FINALLY! So, hopefully it won't be too bad even if the worst that we expect actually does happen. And if his visa doesn't end up working out, then we can get married and start the process of bringing him back with a waiver and a petition for an alien relative. No matter what, and no matter how long, he WILL be back here....we'll find a way, and I will not stop fighting for him.

Of course this situation sucks. Of course this is not how we pictured our life together turning out. Things were good. We were living together in our house, we were working, he was building his business, we were doing amazing things together (vacations, events, date nights, just having fun and making memories), we were spending time with friends and family, we were happy and enjoying life. We expected things to always be that way. We were supposed to spend every birthday and holiday and milestone together. We were supposed to plan our wedding and we probably would have been married by now. We were supposed to attend certain events and do certain things together. But so many times, life is a lot of "supposed to" that doesn't necessarily work out that way. And that's okay, because it happens. And the thing that matters most is NOT whether life is working out the way we planned or expected it to. The thing that matters most is how we react to those circumstances. The thing that matters most is that we have each other, and we will be together in the end no matter what happens or where in this world we end up. We will face these challenges together and come out stronger on the other side.

I am crazy in love with David. And he is crazy in love with me. Sometimes you just know when someone is your soulmate. I know that I cannot live without him, and this past almost-year has been the most difficult time of my life (and his of course), having to be away from each other and going through this whole immigration fiasco. But I'm in it for life. The moment David put that ring on my finger was the best moment of my whole life, hands down. We may not yet have said "I do," but that doesn't mean I'm not already committed to that man, to our future, and to the rest of our life together. We don't need a fancy ceremony, a big ordeal, or a piece of paper to confirm the fact that we ARE together--for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, as long as we both shall live. Because we already know that's the case. Sure, eventually we will *officially* make those vows....but for right now we are living them, and that's something we intend to do forever.

It's Almost Time

It's almost time. In FIVE DAYS I will get to see the love of my life again!!!

Things are a bit better than how I felt the last time I posted. I just re-read that one. I was feeling pretty down when I wrote it. But that's my life lately. Ups and downs, hopes and crushed hopes, laughs and cries. My life has been the biggest rollercoaster in the last nine months but obviously in the situation I'm in, you can't be surprised.

So since that last post I've actually been able to pretty much get my shit together! Got my house clean for the most part, had some friends over last Sunday for a yard work party and got the yard back in order, and then cleaned out my car last Tuesday so it doesn't look like such a trash hole! (And I got it washed today so it's all nice and shiny too!)

Yup, so things are almost back to normal around here. I still have some things to do to get the house where I want it to be, but for the most part it's in better shape than it has been for MONTHS. And that makes me feel good.

At the same time, there has been a slight change in David's situation that makes me feel a lot better about it too. I can't write about it here, but let's just say I feel much closer to him and he feels a bit more freedom on his end for the time being. If you want to know, ask me. But it's a good thing.

And of course as it stands, I am leaving in four days to finally go see him!! Yesterday was a long-ass Mother's Day shift at work, obviously I survived, thank goodness. Then I had Monday and Tuesday off....planned to be used to get things in order for my trip. I work Wednesday and Thursday. Friday I am getting my hair done, and then heading to the airport! My flight gets in to New Orleans late Friday night, at which point I will pick up my rental car and drive the three hours west to Oakdale, where I am staying. I'll hopefully fall asleep right away, lol....gotta wake up and get ready to be at Pine Prairie at 9 AM. David's visiting hours are 10-2 and I want to be there early enough to ensure that I get in for my full two hours.

And OMG when I see him.....I can't even tell you. There will be tears. There will be lots of hugging and kissing. I will grab his ass at some point, and I'm sure he'll grab mine. And then I will get to spend two whole hours next to him. I can't even tell you what that will be like. I mean we'll probably spend the majority of it making out, since I talk to him every day anyway....HAH! But seriously. I will just be thankful for the time I have next to him.

When I leave, I'll return to the hotel. It has a pool, so if the weather is nice, I'll lay out and try to not burn my pasty-ass skin. Haha....I'll go grab dinner at some greasy spoon, maybe have a couple drinks at a dive bar, and then head back to the hotel room to sleep.

Sunday, I'll do it all over again. I get two more hours with him. I cannot wait.

After that visit, I'll drive back to NOLA and return the rental car. Then I'll take the bus to my hotel. Check in, and start my solo adventure in New Orleans! I'm most looking forward to eating and photographing while I'm there. I have quite the list of things I want to see/do/eat/drink....we'll see how much of that I can accomplish in a day and a half!

In any case, I'm most excited about seeing David. Obviously. But I'm sure I will return here and document everything from that trip, so stay tuned.....