So, as many of you may know, David was transferred from Dodge County, Wisconsin to Pine Prairie, Louisiana last week. Initially, I was freaking out, as I tend to do. I didn't know why they were moving him, I didn't know what to expect, I was upset because I had finally planned to visit him five days later and now he was being shipped all that way down south.
Well, it actually hasn't been all that bad. Turns out they were only moving him because so many of the area facilities were becoming full or overcrowded, so they were taking the people who had been in there the longest and shipping them out. According to David: The facility is bigger and better. The officers are nicer. There are a lot less restrictions--he can use the phone at any time, he can watch TV at any time, he was able to read some of the magazines I had sent him in Dodge County that they wouldn't allow for him and put into his property (SI Swimsuit Issue, Maxim), the food is better, and HE GETS TO GO OUTSIDE! And of course the weather is much warmer and sunnier down there. So his spirits have been raised significantly. Apparently the difference is that Dodge County was an actual County Jail that hosts immigration detainees, so it was much stricter. Pine Prairie is a former prison that was closed and sold to the federal government to use strictly as an ICE detention facility, so most of the people who are in there aren't exactly criminals like you would find in a county jail.
My attorney also was able to give me the info of one of her colleague's clients. He is in pretty much the same situation as David--applied for his U-Visa, has been in custody since August, got transferred to Pine Prairie about a week before David did. So I was able to give his name to David to see if he was able to find him in there. My attorney also gave me his wife's cell phone number and said that his wife told me to feel free to reach out. I finally did today, because David needed a little more info to be able to find her husband (what color he was wearing, what section he was in, etc). So we talked quite a bit by text message. She was incredibly nice and we exchanged a lot of information about each other's cases and what she had learned from her husband about what others were saying in there. Unfortunately I had to leave for work, but she says she's going to call me tomorrow. I have a million more questions for her as I'm sure she has for me. We are both extremely frustrated with how long this is all taking, so it's a breath of fresh air to have someone who is in pretty much the same situation as me to be able to talk to and relate to!!
The one thing that really stuck out to me, and was like a "WHOA" moment, was that she said she went to visit her husband last weekend. And she told me THEY ALLOW CONTACT THERE!! When I went to visit David in Dodge Co, it was behind glass and we had to talk through a phone. Apparently at Pine Prairie, contact visits ARE allowed (contrary to what the ICE website says). She said they could hug, kiss, he could hold the kids, etc. And that moment right there was a GAME-CHANGER. I pretty much made up my mind that, despite the 13-14 hour drive, I was going to visit David no matter what. If you tell me I have two straight hours with him, for two days in a row (she said she was able to visit BOTH Saturday and Sunday), AND I'm allowed to hug him and kiss him and touch him and hold his hand for the first time in over eight months?! UM YEAH. A 14-hour drive is NOTHING. I need that, so, so bad. And I'm sure he does too.
So now all I can think about is this visit. I've already got a tentative plan in the works--a couple people were very quick to offer to road-trip down there with me, so we're working on it--but it's going to happen no matter what. I'm hoping we can make it work for the last weekend in April, so we'll see. I was trying to be optimistic that he would be released by mid-April, but now talking to this woman, it seems like her husband is a couple weeks ahead of David as far as the application process. So maybe whatever happens with his case could be a good timeline of what will happen with David's case. Like, if they reach a decision with this guy's case, we should expect one a couple weeks after that. But it depends on her timeline too, like when she received their RFE and submitted the documents and all that, compared with when we did. But that will be information I'll get from her when I talk to her on the phone, hopefully.
But yeah, when she said they allowed contact, I instantly started weighing my possibilities for going down there. It's so crazy, like at first when I thought it was gonna be the same (no-contact visits) I was like yeah....I can't justify that drive, and/or taking off work just to go see him behind a freaking glass wall. I can write to him and talk to him on the phone and save the money I'd waste on traveling. But when you are told that you have the chance to hug, kiss, hold, touch, and be right next to the person you're in love with, when you haven't had that for 8+ months (which is how long it will be by the time I do see him), it's almost like--what WOULDN'T I give for that opportunity!! I talked to him a bit about it today. He said he would love to see me of course, but I know he's worried about me driving so far. But I'm not going to do it alone. And like I've said eight million times today--IT WOULD ALL BE WORTH IT, just to give him the biggest hug ever and kiss his lips and touch his face and hold his hand. All things I have been so desperate to be able to do since August, and now I'm being told I'm allowed to do them?!
I would drive halfway around the world for that chance.
Thursday, March 30, 2017
Sunday, March 26, 2017
Don't Dream It's Over....
I had a bad dream last night.
It took place at my old house down in Florida. I've noticed that a LOT of dreams are taking place at that house lately. Crazy.
David and I had gotten in one of our stupid fights. We're talking some stupid argument as it usually is. In real life, this usually results in us going to bed angry and/or annoyed. Wake up in the morning, and one of two things happens--we both apologize, acknowledge how stupid the fight was, and make up, or he attempts to apologize and make up but I'm too much of a stubborn-ass to accept it, so I like to give him the cold shoulder and hold a grudge. Like I want to make him work for my acceptance of his apology. But I typically forgive him within a couple hours anyway. :-P
But in my dream last night, I woke up the morning after our fight, and didn't hear anything from him. I was all "Huh, well, he'll see!" Two days went by, and I still didn't hear from him. I had wanted to be the stubborn one holding a grudge, making him chase me, whatever. But after a couple days, I missed him. So I tried to text him. I got no response. After a couple of texts, I tried Facebook messenger. After a couple attempts to message him, I noticed he had all of a sudden blocked me. I got a little upset, not with him, but that I couldn't get through to him. So I tried to text him again but no response. I finally called him. It rang through to voicemail. I tried again and it went straight to voicemail. So then I tried his landline (???). A girl answered, a girl I recognized as someone I used to know and actually worked with like 5+ years ago. She claimed that David didn't want to talk with me. I begged and pleaded with her to let me talk to him but he was refusing. I felt so helpless. I couldn't get through to him and there was nothing I could do about it. I cannot remember her final words to me on that call, in that dream, but she implied that he was with her and they were both happy where they were and I should just give it up.
Needless to say, I was devastated. I realized that my stubbornness and my pride and my hard head had lost me the man I believed was my soulmate. I started crying hysterically and couldn't stop. Thank GOD I woke up in that moment. Coming out of the dream, of course I had confusion. First, did that happen? I'm alone in bed so maybe it did. But then the relief of realizing that it was just a dream. And then the reality of the fact that he is still not here with me. But also the relief that, despite our situation, we still have each other and we still love each other and we're both still in it for life.
But the message of the dream was loud and clear. DON'T BE THE STUBBORN ONE. Don't go to bed angry, don't hold grudges, don't always expect the other to continue chasing you without any effort on your part. Because what if? What if he decided he was tired of always chasing for no reason? What if he just doesn't want to deal with it anymore? What if he cuts and runs?
Of course, I don't ever expect David to resort to that. At least I would hope he wouldn't. We've been through enough of these situations that if he were gonna cut and run or get tired of chasing my forgiveness, we would have been broken up a long time ago (lol). But I also understand that I need to be a little less stubborn, a little more understanding, and a little more willing to forgive when he apologizes and asks for it. Instead of trying to be all stubborn and give him the cold shoulder and just seek that attention or that chase of him trying to get me to make up with him. Because one day it just might not turn out how I thought it would, and I could lose everything simply because of my pride and stubbornness.
And that is not worth it at ALL.
It took place at my old house down in Florida. I've noticed that a LOT of dreams are taking place at that house lately. Crazy.
David and I had gotten in one of our stupid fights. We're talking some stupid argument as it usually is. In real life, this usually results in us going to bed angry and/or annoyed. Wake up in the morning, and one of two things happens--we both apologize, acknowledge how stupid the fight was, and make up, or he attempts to apologize and make up but I'm too much of a stubborn-ass to accept it, so I like to give him the cold shoulder and hold a grudge. Like I want to make him work for my acceptance of his apology. But I typically forgive him within a couple hours anyway. :-P
But in my dream last night, I woke up the morning after our fight, and didn't hear anything from him. I was all "Huh, well, he'll see!" Two days went by, and I still didn't hear from him. I had wanted to be the stubborn one holding a grudge, making him chase me, whatever. But after a couple days, I missed him. So I tried to text him. I got no response. After a couple of texts, I tried Facebook messenger. After a couple attempts to message him, I noticed he had all of a sudden blocked me. I got a little upset, not with him, but that I couldn't get through to him. So I tried to text him again but no response. I finally called him. It rang through to voicemail. I tried again and it went straight to voicemail. So then I tried his landline (???). A girl answered, a girl I recognized as someone I used to know and actually worked with like 5+ years ago. She claimed that David didn't want to talk with me. I begged and pleaded with her to let me talk to him but he was refusing. I felt so helpless. I couldn't get through to him and there was nothing I could do about it. I cannot remember her final words to me on that call, in that dream, but she implied that he was with her and they were both happy where they were and I should just give it up.
Needless to say, I was devastated. I realized that my stubbornness and my pride and my hard head had lost me the man I believed was my soulmate. I started crying hysterically and couldn't stop. Thank GOD I woke up in that moment. Coming out of the dream, of course I had confusion. First, did that happen? I'm alone in bed so maybe it did. But then the relief of realizing that it was just a dream. And then the reality of the fact that he is still not here with me. But also the relief that, despite our situation, we still have each other and we still love each other and we're both still in it for life.
But the message of the dream was loud and clear. DON'T BE THE STUBBORN ONE. Don't go to bed angry, don't hold grudges, don't always expect the other to continue chasing you without any effort on your part. Because what if? What if he decided he was tired of always chasing for no reason? What if he just doesn't want to deal with it anymore? What if he cuts and runs?
Of course, I don't ever expect David to resort to that. At least I would hope he wouldn't. We've been through enough of these situations that if he were gonna cut and run or get tired of chasing my forgiveness, we would have been broken up a long time ago (lol). But I also understand that I need to be a little less stubborn, a little more understanding, and a little more willing to forgive when he apologizes and asks for it. Instead of trying to be all stubborn and give him the cold shoulder and just seek that attention or that chase of him trying to get me to make up with him. Because one day it just might not turn out how I thought it would, and I could lose everything simply because of my pride and stubbornness.
And that is not worth it at ALL.
Monday, March 20, 2017
THE ROOMMATE FROM HELL!! One year later....
Okay so it's been almost a whole year since we kicked out our Roommate From Hell™!!
Back then, I posted the story on Facebook in increments. Everyone got a kick out of it. I figured it would be good to post here, both for my factual necessity, and for those who never got to hear the complete story in the first place! ENJOY!!!
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The Roommate From Hell™!!
By Lauren Kuhn
Okay so here goes. There was this girl, Janice. She started working at my job at the Chew Chew in early February. She was supposed to take a week-long trip in the midst of her training, with her (7 month old) daughter and baby-daddy, to settle some custody issue with the dad's other daughter down in Florida (I didn't know this at this point). Anyway, we thought she wasn't gonna come back, because of the horrible luck of people sticking around at our job.
But she did! She came back, finished her training, and started working. She was a great employee. We all got along with her. And then all of a sudden her baby daddy (whom she was supposed to get married to and all that) kicked her out of the house one day, cried domestic violence against her (a six-foot black man, against a 5'3 Brazilian skinny-ass chick?), so she started living out of a hotel room. But in the midst of all this, despite her not having a car or anything, she did what she had to do to get to work, to get her daughter taken care of, to cover her bases. I saw it. I admired it. Having worked with people who would use any excuse to NOT come in to work, this girl was begging for shifts to make more money, saying she would work six days a week, to do whatever she could to support herself and her daughter during this difficult time.
So then she moves out of the hotel into a room with a friend on the north side of the city. At this point she's commuting 2-ish hours to and from work via public transportation. And I'm like--really? I have an empty room in my house. I live 7 minutes from work. I could provide her with a place to stay while she gets back on her feet, saves up her money for her own place, yada yada, right?
Yes, she had an 8-month-old. But she said she was such a happy baby, never cried, was such a joy. Okay, that's fine. Even if the baby cries sometimes, it's a kid. It's fine. We talked it over a little bit--and then all of a sudden she was moving in.
And everything was fine! For the first.....week.
So this bitch moves in. She sets up all her stuff in her room. So okay, in our house, we have two levels. Our bedroom and David's daughter's bedroom is upstairs. We also have a bathroom upstairs; however, we don't use the shower in there because I keep the cat's litter boxes in the tub. So we can use the bathroom up there, but we still shower downstairs. I told her that before she moved in. She was like "oh, well I have an inflatable duck I keep in the tub for Mima, but I can keep it in my room if I need to." Okay fine whatever.
Back then, I posted the story on Facebook in increments. Everyone got a kick out of it. I figured it would be good to post here, both for my factual necessity, and for those who never got to hear the complete story in the first place! ENJOY!!!
-------------
The Roommate From Hell™!!
By Lauren Kuhn
Okay so here goes. There was this girl, Janice. She started working at my job at the Chew Chew in early February. She was supposed to take a week-long trip in the midst of her training, with her (7 month old) daughter and baby-daddy, to settle some custody issue with the dad's other daughter down in Florida (I didn't know this at this point). Anyway, we thought she wasn't gonna come back, because of the horrible luck of people sticking around at our job.
But she did! She came back, finished her training, and started working. She was a great employee. We all got along with her. And then all of a sudden her baby daddy (whom she was supposed to get married to and all that) kicked her out of the house one day, cried domestic violence against her (a six-foot black man, against a 5'3 Brazilian skinny-ass chick?), so she started living out of a hotel room. But in the midst of all this, despite her not having a car or anything, she did what she had to do to get to work, to get her daughter taken care of, to cover her bases. I saw it. I admired it. Having worked with people who would use any excuse to NOT come in to work, this girl was begging for shifts to make more money, saying she would work six days a week, to do whatever she could to support herself and her daughter during this difficult time.
So then she moves out of the hotel into a room with a friend on the north side of the city. At this point she's commuting 2-ish hours to and from work via public transportation. And I'm like--really? I have an empty room in my house. I live 7 minutes from work. I could provide her with a place to stay while she gets back on her feet, saves up her money for her own place, yada yada, right?
Yes, she had an 8-month-old. But she said she was such a happy baby, never cried, was such a joy. Okay, that's fine. Even if the baby cries sometimes, it's a kid. It's fine. We talked it over a little bit--and then all of a sudden she was moving in.
And everything was fine! For the first.....week.
So this bitch moves in. She sets up all her stuff in her room. So okay, in our house, we have two levels. Our bedroom and David's daughter's bedroom is upstairs. We also have a bathroom upstairs; however, we don't use the shower in there because I keep the cat's litter boxes in the tub. So we can use the bathroom up there, but we still shower downstairs. I told her that before she moved in. She was like "oh, well I have an inflatable duck I keep in the tub for Mima, but I can keep it in my room if I need to." Okay fine whatever.
So she moves in. We're all working together. We're doing things like
getting food at work and eating together, or I'm cooking for us, or
she's cooking for us, and we're all eating at the kitchen table
together. Her baby is so cute and sweet and things are great. I'm like
"Sweet, we have a cool roommate with an adorable baby and I'm getting a
little extra rent money out of it!!"
Ummmm.......til things changed at the SNAP of a finger. Like, in a major WTF way.
So it was a Monday night. About a week after she moved in. David and I left to go find a new kitchen table. She wasn't feeling good, and she kept running to the bathroom (apparently to throw up) and we were holding the baby at that time. So we were about to leave, and she said she was gonna go to the ER because she kept throwing up.
Ummmm.......til things changed at the SNAP of a finger. Like, in a major WTF way.
So it was a Monday night. About a week after she moved in. David and I left to go find a new kitchen table. She wasn't feeling good, and she kept running to the bathroom (apparently to throw up) and we were holding the baby at that time. So we were about to leave, and she said she was gonna go to the ER because she kept throwing up.
Now, forgive me for the lack of compassion....when I'm throwing up, I
deal with it in my own house and move on with my life. Which you'll see
soon enough.
So she dumps the baby with the babysitter, we go to the furniture store, she goes to the ER. We buy a kitchen table. Then we go to Applebee's afterwards for dinner and a margarita (Keep in mind, this was National Margarita Day, hah!). But honestly whatever. We had dinner, drinks, came home, and went to sleep. She didn't come back home that night.
I woke up the next morning feeling like death.
This is a Tuesday I will never forget. I woke up at 7:00 in the morning, feeling like death. My stomach was churning like a mofo. I hadn't even drank that much the night before, but this was worse than any hangover I had EVER had. I tried to sleep or at least rest before I had to work that day. Found out Janice came home during the early afternoon, and called in to work like two hours before she had to be there (she was only training behind the bar, but still), and she said she had a doctor's note for the next few days. So of course when she called in, I knew I couldn't call in too (such are the ails of working in a restaurant), so I showed up to work.
So she dumps the baby with the babysitter, we go to the furniture store, she goes to the ER. We buy a kitchen table. Then we go to Applebee's afterwards for dinner and a margarita (Keep in mind, this was National Margarita Day, hah!). But honestly whatever. We had dinner, drinks, came home, and went to sleep. She didn't come back home that night.
I woke up the next morning feeling like death.
This is a Tuesday I will never forget. I woke up at 7:00 in the morning, feeling like death. My stomach was churning like a mofo. I hadn't even drank that much the night before, but this was worse than any hangover I had EVER had. I tried to sleep or at least rest before I had to work that day. Found out Janice came home during the early afternoon, and called in to work like two hours before she had to be there (she was only training behind the bar, but still), and she said she had a doctor's note for the next few days. So of course when she called in, I knew I couldn't call in too (such are the ails of working in a restaurant), so I showed up to work.
Long story short--I showed up to work, my boss caught me almost falling
on the ground, thank God he sent me home once the other servers got
there, and then I ended up throwing up all over the place anyway. It was
a fun night. NOT.
So Janice, after being in the ER, had all these prescriptions available to her that she was offering to me. She had something for the nausea (which I took), something for IBS (which she offered to me but I didn't need), and Oxycontin, which she offered me for the pain, but I was like "WTF? I just have to vomit, I don't need Oxy for this shit!"
But let's focus on her and the Oxycontin.
So! This Friday afternoon was the afternoon leading into CHIVERISH!! We had planned for this girl to take over our shit for the weekend in anticipation of Chiverish. Watching our cats, our house, etc etc...but apparently she showed up at work, after she called in two minutes after having to be there, strung out and not focusing on anyone.....yeah. Obviously we were still going, And she was still strung out.
So then what happens?
Okay, also addressing something about the Oxy--apparently this girl had kidney problems, and her kidneys were in pain when she went to the ER that first time, so maybe that's why they gave her the Oxy. I think.
So Janice, after being in the ER, had all these prescriptions available to her that she was offering to me. She had something for the nausea (which I took), something for IBS (which she offered to me but I didn't need), and Oxycontin, which she offered me for the pain, but I was like "WTF? I just have to vomit, I don't need Oxy for this shit!"
But let's focus on her and the Oxycontin.
So! This Friday afternoon was the afternoon leading into CHIVERISH!! We had planned for this girl to take over our shit for the weekend in anticipation of Chiverish. Watching our cats, our house, etc etc...but apparently she showed up at work, after she called in two minutes after having to be there, strung out and not focusing on anyone.....yeah. Obviously we were still going, And she was still strung out.
So then what happens?
Her baby cries NONSTOP. I''m fully convinced it's because she's being neglected.
This bitch starts taking advantage of everything we're trying to offer to her. And I can see, in her eyes, every time I talk to her, she is strung out, she's not all there, she is out of it. I don't like that.
She calls in sick two more times, and loses her job at our restaurant.
At this point I'm so over her bullshit. She's strung out on pills or whatever, I don't know, I don't care, but it shouldn't be my problem!
So I say....."You know what? My brother was trying to buy a house, but it fell through, so now he needs a place to live until he can find a house, so you have to be out on April 1st...."
This bitch starts taking advantage of everything we're trying to offer to her. And I can see, in her eyes, every time I talk to her, she is strung out, she's not all there, she is out of it. I don't like that.
She calls in sick two more times, and loses her job at our restaurant.
At this point I'm so over her bullshit. She's strung out on pills or whatever, I don't know, I don't care, but it shouldn't be my problem!
So I say....."You know what? My brother was trying to buy a house, but it fell through, so now he needs a place to live until he can find a house, so you have to be out on April 1st...."
Okay, also addressing something about the Oxy--apparently this girl had kidney problems, and her kidneys were in pain when she went to the ER that first time, so maybe that's why they gave her the Oxy. I think.
Anyway, so we get home from the weekend and the house is still
intact--phew. But this girl does NOTHING. She's sleeping 20 hours a day,
with the baby too! How do you get a baby to sleep that much?! She's not
looking for a job, she's not doing ANYTHING, I'm like wtf?!
Oh, also during this time, she is using our washer and dryer NONSTOP. She's doing multiple loads of clothes, and multiple times! We finally had to tell her to stop it because she was totally taking advantage. She claimed my cats peed on her stuff. HAH. First, they pee in the littler box. Second, you'd smell that crap all through the house if they really did pee on your stuff!!
Soooo we finally get fed up. Like I said before, we told her she had to be out by April 1st. I made up the stuff about my brother so that, hopefully, there would be less drama involved. Surprisingly, she was totally fine with it. She said she might get a bartending job in the city with a friend of hers, and they'd probably get a place together out that way. Okay. So that's good. Only a couple more weeks with this psycho....
And then one day she leaves the house.....and doesn't come back. I finally get a FB message from her--she is in the hospital again! WTF! She ends up being there for TEN DAYS. The baby was initially with the sitter, but then the dad ended up taking her.
You guys...that ten days was GLORIOUS. But then I started getting worried. She wasn't looking for another place to live...she wasn't looking for a job.....wtf, was she going to be able to leave my house?!
Then one day, I go into her room to put some mail on her bed. And I'm like....it is FREEZING in here!! Did she leave a window open?! I push back the blinds, and--the window is SMASHED! Like, holes in the glass of both the storm window AND the regular window!! I called David downstairs to look, and I'm like "WTF happened in here?!" In the end, we decided not to say anything to her and see if she mentioned it after she got home. She didn't. Surprise surprise.
So she finally comes home from the hospital. I very rarely see her over the next few days, but she doesn't mention anything about the window. She turned the heat up a couple times, and I kept turning it down (I keep it at 66 or 67 in the winter). If it's cold in your room, fix the window bitch!
Anyway, the day before she's supposed to be out, of course she asks David if she can use his trailer. She can't afford a mover or to rent a truck (surprise surprise) and he's like, you freeloading bitch!! He resisted a little, but in the end we just wanted her out, so he's like "Fine, I'll do it." She claimed she would throw him some gas money--yeah right.
Next day is moving day. FINALLY! She's packing and stuff, and OF COURSE she starts doing laundry. Uh-uh. I had a couple loads I needed to do, so once her first load was finished, I put it in the dryer and put MY stuff in. When it was done, David and I went downstairs so I could put my stuff in the dryer and he could put a load in the wash. We go down to the basement--she already had put my stuff in the dryer, and another load in the wash!! WTF! And she had her sheets in a pile on the table, and another pile on her bed which I'm assuming she was going to do next. I'm like no way, as far as I'm concerned you no longer live here, go to the damn laundromat, you're not doing your laundry for free!
But then, upon opening the washer, I see her comforter stuffed in there. And I notice the bucket hadn't been agitating like it should at that point in the cycle. So I shut the lid again. Nothing. And then I smell the faint burning smell. I'm like OH NO THIS BITCH DID NOT JUST BREAK MY WASHING MACHINE!!! So David starts trying to pull the comforter out and it's just STUCK in there. Why the hell are you trying to wash this giant comforter in a small washing machine anyway?!
Well, she's at CVS and I had to take a shower before work so we just left the stuff there. But we tried the knob on a couple different settings and it did start working again, so I was like--thank goodness for that. She got back while I was in the shower, and David took her downstairs to show her that her comforter was stuck and the washing machine wasn't working. He left her down there to try to get it out.
She comes back upstairs and says "Okay, I got it out. The machine is working now." I go back down to the basement, open the washer--and she has a completely different load in there! I just go "HELL NO" and take everything, soaking wet, out of the washing machine and dump it in the sink on top of the comforter. I went back upstairs and said, "I took all your stuff out of the washer. It still smells like burning and I want to give the machine a rest so it doesn't break, so please don't do any more laundry in there." She tried to claim, again, that the cat peed on her comforter. I'm like "They don't just go around peeing on things. Whatever. Just go to the laundromat."
So I leave for work with the knowledge that she will be GONE when I get home--yay!!
So her baby daddy comes at like 6:00 that night to help her move. David gives them NO help loading or unloading, except to just drive the trailer to where she needs to go. But he's hanging out in the kitchen to make sure they aren't taking anything that isn't theirs. At one point he goes in to one of our cabinets and notices she took all his canned goods--the good stuff--while leaving her own generic crap that she got from the food pantry, in the cabinet. He calls her over and asks if she's gonna take her cans. She goes, "Oh, I already got them." He says, "No, those were mine. You took the wrong ones." She was like "Oh no, they were mine!" WTF. So he goes "Whatever, just keep them, but get these out of here, I'm not going to eat them." So she takes those.
Oh, also during this time, she is using our washer and dryer NONSTOP. She's doing multiple loads of clothes, and multiple times! We finally had to tell her to stop it because she was totally taking advantage. She claimed my cats peed on her stuff. HAH. First, they pee in the littler box. Second, you'd smell that crap all through the house if they really did pee on your stuff!!
Soooo we finally get fed up. Like I said before, we told her she had to be out by April 1st. I made up the stuff about my brother so that, hopefully, there would be less drama involved. Surprisingly, she was totally fine with it. She said she might get a bartending job in the city with a friend of hers, and they'd probably get a place together out that way. Okay. So that's good. Only a couple more weeks with this psycho....
And then one day she leaves the house.....and doesn't come back. I finally get a FB message from her--she is in the hospital again! WTF! She ends up being there for TEN DAYS. The baby was initially with the sitter, but then the dad ended up taking her.
You guys...that ten days was GLORIOUS. But then I started getting worried. She wasn't looking for another place to live...she wasn't looking for a job.....wtf, was she going to be able to leave my house?!
Then one day, I go into her room to put some mail on her bed. And I'm like....it is FREEZING in here!! Did she leave a window open?! I push back the blinds, and--the window is SMASHED! Like, holes in the glass of both the storm window AND the regular window!! I called David downstairs to look, and I'm like "WTF happened in here?!" In the end, we decided not to say anything to her and see if she mentioned it after she got home. She didn't. Surprise surprise.
So she finally comes home from the hospital. I very rarely see her over the next few days, but she doesn't mention anything about the window. She turned the heat up a couple times, and I kept turning it down (I keep it at 66 or 67 in the winter). If it's cold in your room, fix the window bitch!
Anyway, the day before she's supposed to be out, of course she asks David if she can use his trailer. She can't afford a mover or to rent a truck (surprise surprise) and he's like, you freeloading bitch!! He resisted a little, but in the end we just wanted her out, so he's like "Fine, I'll do it." She claimed she would throw him some gas money--yeah right.
Next day is moving day. FINALLY! She's packing and stuff, and OF COURSE she starts doing laundry. Uh-uh. I had a couple loads I needed to do, so once her first load was finished, I put it in the dryer and put MY stuff in. When it was done, David and I went downstairs so I could put my stuff in the dryer and he could put a load in the wash. We go down to the basement--she already had put my stuff in the dryer, and another load in the wash!! WTF! And she had her sheets in a pile on the table, and another pile on her bed which I'm assuming she was going to do next. I'm like no way, as far as I'm concerned you no longer live here, go to the damn laundromat, you're not doing your laundry for free!
But then, upon opening the washer, I see her comforter stuffed in there. And I notice the bucket hadn't been agitating like it should at that point in the cycle. So I shut the lid again. Nothing. And then I smell the faint burning smell. I'm like OH NO THIS BITCH DID NOT JUST BREAK MY WASHING MACHINE!!! So David starts trying to pull the comforter out and it's just STUCK in there. Why the hell are you trying to wash this giant comforter in a small washing machine anyway?!
Well, she's at CVS and I had to take a shower before work so we just left the stuff there. But we tried the knob on a couple different settings and it did start working again, so I was like--thank goodness for that. She got back while I was in the shower, and David took her downstairs to show her that her comforter was stuck and the washing machine wasn't working. He left her down there to try to get it out.
She comes back upstairs and says "Okay, I got it out. The machine is working now." I go back down to the basement, open the washer--and she has a completely different load in there! I just go "HELL NO" and take everything, soaking wet, out of the washing machine and dump it in the sink on top of the comforter. I went back upstairs and said, "I took all your stuff out of the washer. It still smells like burning and I want to give the machine a rest so it doesn't break, so please don't do any more laundry in there." She tried to claim, again, that the cat peed on her comforter. I'm like "They don't just go around peeing on things. Whatever. Just go to the laundromat."
So I leave for work with the knowledge that she will be GONE when I get home--yay!!
So her baby daddy comes at like 6:00 that night to help her move. David gives them NO help loading or unloading, except to just drive the trailer to where she needs to go. But he's hanging out in the kitchen to make sure they aren't taking anything that isn't theirs. At one point he goes in to one of our cabinets and notices she took all his canned goods--the good stuff--while leaving her own generic crap that she got from the food pantry, in the cabinet. He calls her over and asks if she's gonna take her cans. She goes, "Oh, I already got them." He says, "No, those were mine. You took the wrong ones." She was like "Oh no, they were mine!" WTF. So he goes "Whatever, just keep them, but get these out of here, I'm not going to eat them." So she takes those.
He also
asked her about the window at one point. "Oh, that was like that when I
moved in." BULLSHIT. 1) The blinds were open the day you moved in, and
the windows were completely intact! and 2) So you were sleeping in a
room with your baby when it was 20 degrees outside and you NEVER
bothered to say something to us, like, "Hey guys, are you gonna fix this
window??" Whatever. Not that I expected any money from her to fix it,
but seriously! Take some damn responsibility!!
So she leaves with little to no drama.....THANK GOD. But then later that night and over the next few days, we find things missing here and there. Some of our glasses. Some of our silverware. Two rolls of aluminum foil, a roll of plastic wrap, Ziploc bags, and a huge roll of big garbage bags. Some of my cleaning supplies. It's like--are you effing serious?! THAT WAS NOT YOUR STUFF. I paid for that stuff!! So what if we had three rolls of aluminum foil? IT WAS NOT yours to take!! I don't care if you thought we needed it or not--I PAID for it, it's MINE.
So yeah. I'm still finding little things like "Where did this go?" And stuff like that. So I'm still getting pissed off. She's got all this welfare and free shit and she is STILL taking my stuff. Not to mention getting her nails done and going to the gym and stuff....when she SHOULD BE LOOKING FOR A JOB. UGGGHHHHH. And you guys wonder why I don't support that kind of crap?!
Anyway, the important thing is, she's GONE. And I will never, ever do that again. I just feel bad for that poor kid. She doesn't have a prayer. Two deadbeat, ignorant, irresponsible parents to bring her up. She'll be growing up on welfare, just to end up the same way! Good freaking luck.
So she leaves with little to no drama.....THANK GOD. But then later that night and over the next few days, we find things missing here and there. Some of our glasses. Some of our silverware. Two rolls of aluminum foil, a roll of plastic wrap, Ziploc bags, and a huge roll of big garbage bags. Some of my cleaning supplies. It's like--are you effing serious?! THAT WAS NOT YOUR STUFF. I paid for that stuff!! So what if we had three rolls of aluminum foil? IT WAS NOT yours to take!! I don't care if you thought we needed it or not--I PAID for it, it's MINE.
So yeah. I'm still finding little things like "Where did this go?" And stuff like that. So I'm still getting pissed off. She's got all this welfare and free shit and she is STILL taking my stuff. Not to mention getting her nails done and going to the gym and stuff....when she SHOULD BE LOOKING FOR A JOB. UGGGHHHHH. And you guys wonder why I don't support that kind of crap?!
Anyway, the important thing is, she's GONE. And I will never, ever do that again. I just feel bad for that poor kid. She doesn't have a prayer. Two deadbeat, ignorant, irresponsible parents to bring her up. She'll be growing up on welfare, just to end up the same way! Good freaking luck.
Wednesday, March 8, 2017
Counting My Blessings
Despite everything that has been going on with David's situation, and life in general, in the last seven months, I've been trying to keep the most positive attitude I can. It's hard sometimes, but I figure I have a choice--I can either pull the covers over my head, sulk, be miserable and depressed, have a shitty attitude, and negatively affect others around me. Or I can continue to face life head-on, be optimistic, look at the bright side of whatever I can, and take the support and love I have all around me and channel that into the most positive attitude I can muster.
Being happy and having a good attitude, even while David is away in that shithole, doesn't mean that I'm happy with the situation. But it's the best way I can choose to react to the situation.
"A negative attitude drains, a positive attitude energizes." -Lindsey Rietzsch
How true that is! When I've been at my lowest, and at my darkest, in the past seven months, if I allow myself to let whatever I'm feeling show through my attitude, it has ALWAYS made me feel absolutely worse. But it's the days I show up to work, or I show up to get-togethers, or I show up wherever, and I choose to be positive and happy and engaging, that I actually *FEEL* better overall. Even to the point of allowing myself to blast "Call Me Maybe" in the car and belt out the words with the windows down even if people are looking, it's ENERGIZING.
But one of the most important things I've been doing is counting my blessings. I pray a lot more now. I thank God for what I have and what I am blessed with. And I really sit and think about those blessings. The amazing things in my life, despite the hardships. This past weekend with my Chive family just serves to reinforce all the great things and people I have in my life.
Every single person that embraced me this past weekend is a blessing. Every single person who reiterated their support, kissed David's face-on-a-stick (LOL), offered kind words, and was just THERE for me, is a blessing. Despite this incredible hardship, my life is so full, and a lot of it is because of all these wonderful people that David and I have been so fortunate to meet and be able to call friends. TRUE friends.
And it's because of them, along with our amazing families, and so many customers at work who have grown to feel like family, and all of our other friends and loved ones....that I'm able to make it through day by day waiting for news about David's situation.
Speaking of work, tonight I officially accepted a "promotion" of sorts at my job, which is another blessing I'm so thankful for. I will essentially be the bar manager, which comes with a bit more responsibility and an hourly raise, which is always awesome. I'm thankful for this opportunity and glad that my boss feels I'm worthy of it. So we'll see how this goes!
In any case, I do have a lot to be thankful for, regardless of the shitty things that are going on in my life. But hopefully those shitty things will be over soon and life can return back to normal and I can once again be reunited with my other half. I cannot wait for that day.
Being happy and having a good attitude, even while David is away in that shithole, doesn't mean that I'm happy with the situation. But it's the best way I can choose to react to the situation.
"A negative attitude drains, a positive attitude energizes." -Lindsey Rietzsch
How true that is! When I've been at my lowest, and at my darkest, in the past seven months, if I allow myself to let whatever I'm feeling show through my attitude, it has ALWAYS made me feel absolutely worse. But it's the days I show up to work, or I show up to get-togethers, or I show up wherever, and I choose to be positive and happy and engaging, that I actually *FEEL* better overall. Even to the point of allowing myself to blast "Call Me Maybe" in the car and belt out the words with the windows down even if people are looking, it's ENERGIZING.
But one of the most important things I've been doing is counting my blessings. I pray a lot more now. I thank God for what I have and what I am blessed with. And I really sit and think about those blessings. The amazing things in my life, despite the hardships. This past weekend with my Chive family just serves to reinforce all the great things and people I have in my life.
Every single person that embraced me this past weekend is a blessing. Every single person who reiterated their support, kissed David's face-on-a-stick (LOL), offered kind words, and was just THERE for me, is a blessing. Despite this incredible hardship, my life is so full, and a lot of it is because of all these wonderful people that David and I have been so fortunate to meet and be able to call friends. TRUE friends.
And it's because of them, along with our amazing families, and so many customers at work who have grown to feel like family, and all of our other friends and loved ones....that I'm able to make it through day by day waiting for news about David's situation.
Speaking of work, tonight I officially accepted a "promotion" of sorts at my job, which is another blessing I'm so thankful for. I will essentially be the bar manager, which comes with a bit more responsibility and an hourly raise, which is always awesome. I'm thankful for this opportunity and glad that my boss feels I'm worthy of it. So we'll see how this goes!
In any case, I do have a lot to be thankful for, regardless of the shitty things that are going on in my life. But hopefully those shitty things will be over soon and life can return back to normal and I can once again be reunited with my other half. I cannot wait for that day.
Tuesday, March 7, 2017
Chiverish 2017
Let me preface this post by saying this:
I AM SOOOOO HAPPY THAT I WENT!!!
This past weekend was nothing short of amazing. I had such a blast, saw so many wonderful people, and wish I could go back right now.
Kiss Me I'm CHIVErish is always an amazing time. It was incredibly bittersweet this year because my other half couldn't be there with me. So of course it's a little weird. The Chive is our "thing." It's how we bonded. It's how we both, after divorces, built up a foundation of new friends together after our old lives weren't the same anymore. It's how we got so involved in charity and the community. It's basically how we got engaged. If David isn't here for a major Chive event with me....it's just not the same.
But man, did my amazing Chive friends pull through. Hugs for days! Left and right people showing their support and love for David and me. There are no words to express something like that unless you're in the position.
I saw so, so, so many people that I haven't seen in quite a while. And every single one of them--once we saw each other, we came running into each others' arms with huge smiles on our faces. There's nothing that can really describe that feeling--again, unless you're experiencing it.
I had my David on a stick with me the whole night. It almost--ALMOST--made it feel like he was actually with me. At least he was in pretty much all of my pictures!! :-D And to see the way so many people reacted to him--grabbing him, embracing him, kissing him on the cheek, LOL...it showed how many people really do care about him, miss him, and hope for the best in this stupid situation we're in. I can't express my appreciation enough.
I made a lot of new friends this weekend. It's nearly impossible to walk away from a Chiverish weekend without making at least a handful of new friends that you'll carry with you for a long time to come. Chivers are like that. They're good-hearted people who care about others, who support their friends, who would do anything for someone in need. That's why we're Chivers in the first place after all.
It's also so great to see so many amazing couples every year. There are a few that really stand out to me, who are not only incredibly adorable, but who honor each other, respect each other, stand by each other, and partake in these events together to try to put a little bit of good back into the world. You probably know who you are, most likely because I've made a post about how freaking cute you are. LOL. But I love you and respect you and keep doing what you're doing! (And please for the love of God stay together!!! Haha)
This weekend, over the entire weekend, we raised over $45,000 for charity!! From the Chive On Chicago FB page:
"Chive Nation. Over the years many of the faces have changed, but the mission hasn't... to party with a purpose.
This weekend, members from across the continent united in Chicago for Kiss Me I'm CHIVErish 2017. We've always been proud of its success - but this year, well this year you just outdid yourselves and our wildest expectations. Are you ready to know what we accomplished TOGETHER?!
*$560 - Ottawa disaster relief
To buy much needed supplies after Tuesday's tornado.
*$1,500 - CreatiVets
Our amazing Berry IL team coordinated a Sunday brunch that cured much more than our hangovers, it also helped enroll our member into their PTSD program.
*$9,200 - The Special Olympics of Chicago
Our philanthropy team threw caution to the wind and jumped in Lake Michigan to raise money with this year's Polar Plunge... and they're not even done yet! So please keep donating to their campaign.
*$34,197 - The People's Music School
That's enough to fund the musical education of 17 of Chicago's youths. Seriously, that's an entire classroom!
GRAND TOTAL - $45,457!!
'Misfit' is defined as: "A person whose behavior or attitude sets them apart from others". Well that's exactly what we are.
Thank you to everyone that came out (whether old or new) to support Chive On Chicago and pay it forward."
I AM SOOOOO HAPPY THAT I WENT!!!
This past weekend was nothing short of amazing. I had such a blast, saw so many wonderful people, and wish I could go back right now.
Kiss Me I'm CHIVErish is always an amazing time. It was incredibly bittersweet this year because my other half couldn't be there with me. So of course it's a little weird. The Chive is our "thing." It's how we bonded. It's how we both, after divorces, built up a foundation of new friends together after our old lives weren't the same anymore. It's how we got so involved in charity and the community. It's basically how we got engaged. If David isn't here for a major Chive event with me....it's just not the same.
But man, did my amazing Chive friends pull through. Hugs for days! Left and right people showing their support and love for David and me. There are no words to express something like that unless you're in the position.
I saw so, so, so many people that I haven't seen in quite a while. And every single one of them--once we saw each other, we came running into each others' arms with huge smiles on our faces. There's nothing that can really describe that feeling--again, unless you're experiencing it.
I had my David on a stick with me the whole night. It almost--ALMOST--made it feel like he was actually with me. At least he was in pretty much all of my pictures!! :-D And to see the way so many people reacted to him--grabbing him, embracing him, kissing him on the cheek, LOL...it showed how many people really do care about him, miss him, and hope for the best in this stupid situation we're in. I can't express my appreciation enough.
I made a lot of new friends this weekend. It's nearly impossible to walk away from a Chiverish weekend without making at least a handful of new friends that you'll carry with you for a long time to come. Chivers are like that. They're good-hearted people who care about others, who support their friends, who would do anything for someone in need. That's why we're Chivers in the first place after all.
It's also so great to see so many amazing couples every year. There are a few that really stand out to me, who are not only incredibly adorable, but who honor each other, respect each other, stand by each other, and partake in these events together to try to put a little bit of good back into the world. You probably know who you are, most likely because I've made a post about how freaking cute you are. LOL. But I love you and respect you and keep doing what you're doing! (And please for the love of God stay together!!! Haha)
This weekend, over the entire weekend, we raised over $45,000 for charity!! From the Chive On Chicago FB page:
"Chive Nation. Over the years many of the faces have changed, but the mission hasn't... to party with a purpose.
This weekend, members from across the continent united in Chicago for Kiss Me I'm CHIVErish 2017. We've always been proud of its success - but this year, well this year you just outdid yourselves and our wildest expectations. Are you ready to know what we accomplished TOGETHER?!
*$560 - Ottawa disaster relief
To buy much needed supplies after Tuesday's tornado.
*$1,500 - CreatiVets
Our amazing Berry IL team coordinated a Sunday brunch that cured much more than our hangovers, it also helped enroll our member into their PTSD program.
*$9,200 - The Special Olympics of Chicago
Our philanthropy team threw caution to the wind and jumped in Lake Michigan to raise money with this year's Polar Plunge... and they're not even done yet! So please keep donating to their campaign.
*$34,197 - The People's Music School
That's enough to fund the musical education of 17 of Chicago's youths. Seriously, that's an entire classroom!
GRAND TOTAL - $45,457!!
'Misfit' is defined as: "A person whose behavior or attitude sets them apart from others". Well that's exactly what we are.
Thank you to everyone that came out (whether old or new) to support Chive On Chicago and pay it forward."
I couldn't be happier to be a part of such an outstanding group of people. The Chive has changed my life. I've met some of my closest friends through this organization, helped countless people, and I hope it just keeps going and going.
To Liz and Jeremy: I don't know WHY you wanted to be friends with us, but you did, and now we are Chive roomies for life! You guys are amazing in all you do for the chapter, the philanthropy work, and just being awesome people in general. We love you two and we are so fortunate to have you in our lives. I'm sorry if I snored at all this past weekend. :-D
To Cami: I just met you this past weekend (FINALLY) but thank you thank you thank you! For being my savior from creepy guys, for being the best dance partner ever, and for just being the cool and sweet YOU. You're awesome and I'm happy to have you in my life now!
To Cami: I just met you this past weekend (FINALLY) but thank you thank you thank you! For being my savior from creepy guys, for being the best dance partner ever, and for just being the cool and sweet YOU. You're awesome and I'm happy to have you in my life now!
To Katie: I just had this FEELING that you were going to be at Chiverish, even though you were making stupid pathetic excuses about why you couldn't come from Boston! So when someone posted that you were there, I was like I EFFING KNEW IT!!! And I'm soooo glad! I miss you so much. And damn you for that heart-to-heart. I mean, I appreciate it. I need to hear those things sometimes. But shoot how many times am I going to cry at Chiverish! (Apparently twice--once after your talk, and once after the bagpipes, lol.) I love you and miss you so much and I can't wait to be able to go to Boston and visit you finally!
To Andy and Jess: We haven't known each other that long, but you're already like family. Jess, my girl, my sista, going to the mall and brunch and being able to talk about anything. Andy, my annoying-ass little brother whose arm I want to break off. But I wouldn't trade it for the world! You guys are great and I can't wait until you move up here!
To Rolly and Amy: The two best photographers ever in this entire world forever. I love you guys. Thanks for the hugs, the supportive words, and the amazing photos of the event!!!
To Lu Go: Fuck you <3
To my Wisco loves: I'm so glad you came down again, it's always a treat to see you and hopefully we'll be making it up there more often from now on??
And finally to Holub, Henry, Pack, and everyone else who made this event happen: Thank you. From the bottom of my bittersweet heart, thank you. Forever. <3 <3
Thursday, March 2, 2017
My First Chiverish Without Him.
So, this sucks. Again.
This weekend is the annual Chive on Chicago "Kiss Me I'm Chiverish" meetup in Rosemont. This is a HUGE, HUGE Chive meetup where Chivers from ALL OVER THE COUNTRY (literally--Seattle, Alabama, New York, Texas, Florida, North Carolina, and pretty much the entire midwest) come to Chicago to party and raise money for charity. Most of them plan it as a long weekend. There were a ton of people getting in to town tonight, and a lot of them went sightseeing or out to dinner at Kuma's Corner. They'll do some more sightseeing or other activities tomorrow, and then there are a couple "pre-party" welcome-party type things going on at night. Saturday people will be doing any number of things--brunches, lunches, there's a Brookfield Zoo trip, some people are going into the city, some people will be hanging out at the hotel, some people will be wandering around Rosemont, whatever. Then everyone goes back to their rooms, gets all ready and dolled up, and doors open to the venue (Joe's Live) at 6:30 pm. Then--it's party time! We all hang out, see friends we don't get to see very often, drink, dance, there's a silent auction, DJ, basically just a good old time with a shit-ton of awesome people.
The morning after has always been the Polar Plunge at North Avenue Beach for Special Olympics Chicago. In years past, I always said "HELL NO!!" But for some reason, this year, I gave in to Jeremy's demands. Yes, I will be plunging. So a bunch of us crazy, out-of-our-mind, hungover Chivers will be heading to Lake Michigan Sunday morning to continue our good deeds and plunge for charity. After we return to Rosemont, we will have brunch/lunch, and then most of us will head home or on our ways.
It's always a great, fun-filled weekend. I'm very much looking forward to seeing a lot of amazing friends I've made through this group over the years. This will be my fourth Chiverish!
But...my first one without David.
Yup. Womp womp. I had to come in and get all Debbie Downer about it. I mean....it's March already. I honestly thought this all would be over and he would be home by now. It kind of breaks my heart that he can't be here for this.
I tossed around the idea of not going for quite awhile. I honestly don't know how I'm going to handle being there without him. But, I have to go. These are my friends. And my life has been "on hold" enough as it is lately. I can't forego every fun time just because he can't be here to share it with me. But at the same time, I feel guilty that I'm out here, with my freedom, having fun, and he's still stuck in that shithole of a place for going on seven months now. I feel like if he's miserable, I should share in that burden. It sucks.
I just really hope this shit is all over soon. I don't know how much more of this I can go through!! CXSE is coming up in just a couple short months. If we don't make it to that, I have no idea WHAT I'll do. :-(
This weekend is the annual Chive on Chicago "Kiss Me I'm Chiverish" meetup in Rosemont. This is a HUGE, HUGE Chive meetup where Chivers from ALL OVER THE COUNTRY (literally--Seattle, Alabama, New York, Texas, Florida, North Carolina, and pretty much the entire midwest) come to Chicago to party and raise money for charity. Most of them plan it as a long weekend. There were a ton of people getting in to town tonight, and a lot of them went sightseeing or out to dinner at Kuma's Corner. They'll do some more sightseeing or other activities tomorrow, and then there are a couple "pre-party" welcome-party type things going on at night. Saturday people will be doing any number of things--brunches, lunches, there's a Brookfield Zoo trip, some people are going into the city, some people will be hanging out at the hotel, some people will be wandering around Rosemont, whatever. Then everyone goes back to their rooms, gets all ready and dolled up, and doors open to the venue (Joe's Live) at 6:30 pm. Then--it's party time! We all hang out, see friends we don't get to see very often, drink, dance, there's a silent auction, DJ, basically just a good old time with a shit-ton of awesome people.
The morning after has always been the Polar Plunge at North Avenue Beach for Special Olympics Chicago. In years past, I always said "HELL NO!!" But for some reason, this year, I gave in to Jeremy's demands. Yes, I will be plunging. So a bunch of us crazy, out-of-our-mind, hungover Chivers will be heading to Lake Michigan Sunday morning to continue our good deeds and plunge for charity. After we return to Rosemont, we will have brunch/lunch, and then most of us will head home or on our ways.
It's always a great, fun-filled weekend. I'm very much looking forward to seeing a lot of amazing friends I've made through this group over the years. This will be my fourth Chiverish!
But...my first one without David.
Yup. Womp womp. I had to come in and get all Debbie Downer about it. I mean....it's March already. I honestly thought this all would be over and he would be home by now. It kind of breaks my heart that he can't be here for this.
I tossed around the idea of not going for quite awhile. I honestly don't know how I'm going to handle being there without him. But, I have to go. These are my friends. And my life has been "on hold" enough as it is lately. I can't forego every fun time just because he can't be here to share it with me. But at the same time, I feel guilty that I'm out here, with my freedom, having fun, and he's still stuck in that shithole of a place for going on seven months now. I feel like if he's miserable, I should share in that burden. It sucks.
I just really hope this shit is all over soon. I don't know how much more of this I can go through!! CXSE is coming up in just a couple short months. If we don't make it to that, I have no idea WHAT I'll do. :-(
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