On July 6, 2017, David was deported back to Mexico.
Reading that sentence, it seems very harsh and callous. But ultimately, that is the reality of our situation, the reality we have come to accept.
Everything that I wrote in my last entry still holds true. We are still awaiting a decision on David's visa, and if that comes soon, this could all be over relatively quickly. But even if it doesn't, we still have options.
The most important thing, and the BEST thing about our situation right now, is that in a little over 24 hours, I will be on my way to the airport, and shortly after that I will be on a plane to Mexico City!!
Yes, I will FINALLY get to be reunited with my love!! After all this time....Almost a whole year apart from each other, we will finally get to be together again. FOR REAL.
I absolutely cannot wait. I haven't been this excited for something since I was like 8 years old and still believed in Santa Claus. I honestly feel like a little girl; every time someone asks if I'm ready for my trip, or am I excited? I jump up and down a little and kind of let out a little squeal. It's a little weird to be honest, but I can't help it! :-D I'm kind of bummed that I'm only going for a few days this time, but at this point I'll take whatever I can get. And we're also going to plan my next trip, most likely sometime in September, and for 2-3 weeks that time. I cannot WAIT!!
So yeah, there's definitely a silver lining. David is free, and he'd much rather be free in Mexico than be locked up in that prison for one more day. He's living in his parents' house down there, making repairs, cleaning it up, and getting it lived in. He has a bit of family nearby so he's always visiting with people. He applied for a bilingual customer service and sales position with AT&T down there, had two interviews....and we just found out today that he was hired! And of course I'm coming down this week...so things are good. Or as good as we could hope for them to be at this point.
The future may still be uncertain, but I'm faithful that God has a plan. This is making us stronger in the long run. And it is a true test of our relationship and future marriage; if we can get through this? I'm convinced we can get through ANYTHING.
But for now, I'm just counting down the hours until I am no longer separated from the man I love with all my heart.
Tuesday, July 25, 2017
Friday, June 30, 2017
Life Happens.
Well, it appears as if David's case is finally nearing an end. However, it is a very real possibility that it will not be the "end" that we were hoping for, unfortunately. The way things are moving now, we have had to address the "what if" situation of David being sent back to Mexico. Obviously that is not what we WANT, but it very well could happen at this point.
Everything is hinging on his 9-month custody review decision. The officer assigned to his case (which is different than the officer who made the decision to continue detention at his 3-month and 6-month review) has submitted his recommendation to the ERO headquarters in Washington, DC. They are the ones who ultimately decide whether to release David, or continue to detain him. Unfortunately at this point, according to our attorney, if the decision is made to continue detention, then they will most likely remove him from the country instead of keeping him in custody. The policy regarding U-visa petitioners has changed, and they have decided that individuals who have applied for that visa don't necessarily need to wait for the visa while they are in the U.S. They can just go back to their country to await a decision. I believe this is partly due to the current administration's immigration policies, but also partly due to the fact that the number of U-visa petitions that come in are just growing like crazy every year. At this point, there are over 100,000 pending U-visa petitions--up from less than 50,000 just three years ago, and less than 20,000 five years ago.
Obviously we are hoping for a decision to release him. At this point that is the best-case scenario we can hope for. Unfortunately, there is a very slim chance that they will make that decision. It is more likely that they will decide to continue detaining him--and therefore send him back to Mexico. Although it's not what we are hoping for and definitely not what we want, there are a few silver linings in that case. The first of course is that he will be FREE. Even if he's in a different country, at least he is FREE. He no longer has to be locked up and restricted and all that crap. The other is, even if he gets sent back to Mexico, his visa will still be pending a decision. Since it appears that a decision will be made in the next month or so, ICE may not bother to remove the expedited status once he is out of custody, and we will still most likely hear something about the visa soon. If it gets approved, then we can start the parole process, and hopefully he would only be gone about three or four months total. Yes, it would suck for him to be stuck in custody for 11 months and STILL get sent back to Mexico in the end, at least the fact remains that because he was in custody, his petition was expedited, and that of course was a benefit to his case as well. And at least then, I can actually fly down there and go see him and be with him and we can be together again, FINALLY! So, hopefully it won't be too bad even if the worst that we expect actually does happen. And if his visa doesn't end up working out, then we can get married and start the process of bringing him back with a waiver and a petition for an alien relative. No matter what, and no matter how long, he WILL be back here....we'll find a way, and I will not stop fighting for him.
Of course this situation sucks. Of course this is not how we pictured our life together turning out. Things were good. We were living together in our house, we were working, he was building his business, we were doing amazing things together (vacations, events, date nights, just having fun and making memories), we were spending time with friends and family, we were happy and enjoying life. We expected things to always be that way. We were supposed to spend every birthday and holiday and milestone together. We were supposed to plan our wedding and we probably would have been married by now. We were supposed to attend certain events and do certain things together. But so many times, life is a lot of "supposed to" that doesn't necessarily work out that way. And that's okay, because it happens. And the thing that matters most is NOT whether life is working out the way we planned or expected it to. The thing that matters most is how we react to those circumstances. The thing that matters most is that we have each other, and we will be together in the end no matter what happens or where in this world we end up. We will face these challenges together and come out stronger on the other side.
I am crazy in love with David. And he is crazy in love with me. Sometimes you just know when someone is your soulmate. I know that I cannot live without him, and this past almost-year has been the most difficult time of my life (and his of course), having to be away from each other and going through this whole immigration fiasco. But I'm in it for life. The moment David put that ring on my finger was the best moment of my whole life, hands down. We may not yet have said "I do," but that doesn't mean I'm not already committed to that man, to our future, and to the rest of our life together. We don't need a fancy ceremony, a big ordeal, or a piece of paper to confirm the fact that we ARE together--for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, as long as we both shall live. Because we already know that's the case. Sure, eventually we will *officially* make those vows....but for right now we are living them, and that's something we intend to do forever.
Obviously we are hoping for a decision to release him. At this point that is the best-case scenario we can hope for. Unfortunately, there is a very slim chance that they will make that decision. It is more likely that they will decide to continue detaining him--and therefore send him back to Mexico. Although it's not what we are hoping for and definitely not what we want, there are a few silver linings in that case. The first of course is that he will be FREE. Even if he's in a different country, at least he is FREE. He no longer has to be locked up and restricted and all that crap. The other is, even if he gets sent back to Mexico, his visa will still be pending a decision. Since it appears that a decision will be made in the next month or so, ICE may not bother to remove the expedited status once he is out of custody, and we will still most likely hear something about the visa soon. If it gets approved, then we can start the parole process, and hopefully he would only be gone about three or four months total. Yes, it would suck for him to be stuck in custody for 11 months and STILL get sent back to Mexico in the end, at least the fact remains that because he was in custody, his petition was expedited, and that of course was a benefit to his case as well. And at least then, I can actually fly down there and go see him and be with him and we can be together again, FINALLY! So, hopefully it won't be too bad even if the worst that we expect actually does happen. And if his visa doesn't end up working out, then we can get married and start the process of bringing him back with a waiver and a petition for an alien relative. No matter what, and no matter how long, he WILL be back here....we'll find a way, and I will not stop fighting for him.
Of course this situation sucks. Of course this is not how we pictured our life together turning out. Things were good. We were living together in our house, we were working, he was building his business, we were doing amazing things together (vacations, events, date nights, just having fun and making memories), we were spending time with friends and family, we were happy and enjoying life. We expected things to always be that way. We were supposed to spend every birthday and holiday and milestone together. We were supposed to plan our wedding and we probably would have been married by now. We were supposed to attend certain events and do certain things together. But so many times, life is a lot of "supposed to" that doesn't necessarily work out that way. And that's okay, because it happens. And the thing that matters most is NOT whether life is working out the way we planned or expected it to. The thing that matters most is how we react to those circumstances. The thing that matters most is that we have each other, and we will be together in the end no matter what happens or where in this world we end up. We will face these challenges together and come out stronger on the other side.
I am crazy in love with David. And he is crazy in love with me. Sometimes you just know when someone is your soulmate. I know that I cannot live without him, and this past almost-year has been the most difficult time of my life (and his of course), having to be away from each other and going through this whole immigration fiasco. But I'm in it for life. The moment David put that ring on my finger was the best moment of my whole life, hands down. We may not yet have said "I do," but that doesn't mean I'm not already committed to that man, to our future, and to the rest of our life together. We don't need a fancy ceremony, a big ordeal, or a piece of paper to confirm the fact that we ARE together--for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, as long as we both shall live. Because we already know that's the case. Sure, eventually we will *officially* make those vows....but for right now we are living them, and that's something we intend to do forever.
Monday, May 15, 2017
It's Almost Time
It's almost time. In FIVE DAYS I will get to see the love of my life again!!!
Things are a bit better than how I felt the last time I posted. I just re-read that one. I was feeling pretty down when I wrote it. But that's my life lately. Ups and downs, hopes and crushed hopes, laughs and cries. My life has been the biggest rollercoaster in the last nine months but obviously in the situation I'm in, you can't be surprised.
So since that last post I've actually been able to pretty much get my shit together! Got my house clean for the most part, had some friends over last Sunday for a yard work party and got the yard back in order, and then cleaned out my car last Tuesday so it doesn't look like such a trash hole! (And I got it washed today so it's all nice and shiny too!)
Yup, so things are almost back to normal around here. I still have some things to do to get the house where I want it to be, but for the most part it's in better shape than it has been for MONTHS. And that makes me feel good.
At the same time, there has been a slight change in David's situation that makes me feel a lot better about it too. I can't write about it here, but let's just say I feel much closer to him and he feels a bit more freedom on his end for the time being. If you want to know, ask me. But it's a good thing.
And of course as it stands, I am leaving in four days to finally go see him!! Yesterday was a long-ass Mother's Day shift at work, obviously I survived, thank goodness. Then I had Monday and Tuesday off....planned to be used to get things in order for my trip. I work Wednesday and Thursday. Friday I am getting my hair done, and then heading to the airport! My flight gets in to New Orleans late Friday night, at which point I will pick up my rental car and drive the three hours west to Oakdale, where I am staying. I'll hopefully fall asleep right away, lol....gotta wake up and get ready to be at Pine Prairie at 9 AM. David's visiting hours are 10-2 and I want to be there early enough to ensure that I get in for my full two hours.
And OMG when I see him.....I can't even tell you. There will be tears. There will be lots of hugging and kissing. I will grab his ass at some point, and I'm sure he'll grab mine. And then I will get to spend two whole hours next to him. I can't even tell you what that will be like. I mean we'll probably spend the majority of it making out, since I talk to him every day anyway....HAH! But seriously. I will just be thankful for the time I have next to him.
When I leave, I'll return to the hotel. It has a pool, so if the weather is nice, I'll lay out and try to not burn my pasty-ass skin. Haha....I'll go grab dinner at some greasy spoon, maybe have a couple drinks at a dive bar, and then head back to the hotel room to sleep.
Sunday, I'll do it all over again. I get two more hours with him. I cannot wait.
After that visit, I'll drive back to NOLA and return the rental car. Then I'll take the bus to my hotel. Check in, and start my solo adventure in New Orleans! I'm most looking forward to eating and photographing while I'm there. I have quite the list of things I want to see/do/eat/drink....we'll see how much of that I can accomplish in a day and a half!
In any case, I'm most excited about seeing David. Obviously. But I'm sure I will return here and document everything from that trip, so stay tuned.....
Things are a bit better than how I felt the last time I posted. I just re-read that one. I was feeling pretty down when I wrote it. But that's my life lately. Ups and downs, hopes and crushed hopes, laughs and cries. My life has been the biggest rollercoaster in the last nine months but obviously in the situation I'm in, you can't be surprised.
So since that last post I've actually been able to pretty much get my shit together! Got my house clean for the most part, had some friends over last Sunday for a yard work party and got the yard back in order, and then cleaned out my car last Tuesday so it doesn't look like such a trash hole! (And I got it washed today so it's all nice and shiny too!)
Yup, so things are almost back to normal around here. I still have some things to do to get the house where I want it to be, but for the most part it's in better shape than it has been for MONTHS. And that makes me feel good.
At the same time, there has been a slight change in David's situation that makes me feel a lot better about it too. I can't write about it here, but let's just say I feel much closer to him and he feels a bit more freedom on his end for the time being. If you want to know, ask me. But it's a good thing.
And of course as it stands, I am leaving in four days to finally go see him!! Yesterday was a long-ass Mother's Day shift at work, obviously I survived, thank goodness. Then I had Monday and Tuesday off....planned to be used to get things in order for my trip. I work Wednesday and Thursday. Friday I am getting my hair done, and then heading to the airport! My flight gets in to New Orleans late Friday night, at which point I will pick up my rental car and drive the three hours west to Oakdale, where I am staying. I'll hopefully fall asleep right away, lol....gotta wake up and get ready to be at Pine Prairie at 9 AM. David's visiting hours are 10-2 and I want to be there early enough to ensure that I get in for my full two hours.
And OMG when I see him.....I can't even tell you. There will be tears. There will be lots of hugging and kissing. I will grab his ass at some point, and I'm sure he'll grab mine. And then I will get to spend two whole hours next to him. I can't even tell you what that will be like. I mean we'll probably spend the majority of it making out, since I talk to him every day anyway....HAH! But seriously. I will just be thankful for the time I have next to him.
When I leave, I'll return to the hotel. It has a pool, so if the weather is nice, I'll lay out and try to not burn my pasty-ass skin. Haha....I'll go grab dinner at some greasy spoon, maybe have a couple drinks at a dive bar, and then head back to the hotel room to sleep.
Sunday, I'll do it all over again. I get two more hours with him. I cannot wait.
After that visit, I'll drive back to NOLA and return the rental car. Then I'll take the bus to my hotel. Check in, and start my solo adventure in New Orleans! I'm most looking forward to eating and photographing while I'm there. I have quite the list of things I want to see/do/eat/drink....we'll see how much of that I can accomplish in a day and a half!
In any case, I'm most excited about seeing David. Obviously. But I'm sure I will return here and document everything from that trip, so stay tuned.....
Tuesday, April 25, 2017
I'm Still Here
Yes, I'm still here. Barely, but I'm here.
Life is rough lately. We are still without any answers regarding David's situation. Which means my life is still in limbo. Obviously, my decision is made that I'm staying with this man no matter what the outcome of this situation is. When I said "Yes," I might as well have been saying "I do." I know that this is the man that I love, the one I would do anything for, my soulmate and my life and the one I cannot live without. Hopefully, and most likely, his visa case will be approved eventually and we can get him out of that place and back home where he belongs. But on the off chance that it is denied, and we don't seek appeal (which we most likely won't, because he does not want to stay in that place any longer than he has to), and he gets sent back to Mexico, I don't care. If it takes three or four or five more years from then to bring him back to the States, I will wait that long. And in the meantime be able to go visit him whenever I can.
It just sucks. I don't want to complain. But it's hard. I have to keep up with a two-story, four-bedroom, two-bathroom house. I have to pay all the bills on my own. And now that it's not winter anymore, I have to deal with the yard maintenance once again. Cutting the grass, trimming the hedges, pulling the weeds. For someone who could barely keep the house from imploding this past winter, I just don't know if I can do it.
Everybody keeps telling me how strong I am. "Strong." But I don't know if that's actually accurate. Anytime someone tells me I'm "strong," I tell them that I don't think that's right. But they insist. I mean, if "strong" means keeping my head JUST above water enough so that I don't drown, sure, I'm strong. If it means I'm living paycheck to paycheck and keeping current with my bills SOMEHOW, then sure I'm strong. If it means my house is a disaster, my yard is unkempt, my cat litter goes too long before I clean it, there's way too many dishes in my sink, my car looks like a hoarder lives in it, and I am still able to smile and laugh at people at my job because it's my job....then sure, I'm "strong."
But I really don't feel it.
While I of course want to say that I'm able to be an "independent woman who don't need no man," it's almost impossible to go from living with a man you're going to marry who is responsible for almost 50% of your household expenses, and makes much more money than you do, and is much better at taking care of the house and the yard and all that handy stuff--to immediately living by yourself, responsible for 100% of the finances, working, and trying to take care of the things around the house that you know nothing about, and then on top of it trying to take on the responsibilities of taking on his sales business and trying to run that.
It's a lot.
I just need an answer either way. Honestly. If he can come home, that would be ideal. We could get back to our normal lives, I have complete faith that he could recover quickly with his business and selling chairs and build up what we thought was lost. If he doesn't come home, if he gets sent back to Mexico, then I need to get other plans in motion, including renting out/selling my house, other living arrangements, whatever needs to be done.
But in the meantime we're in limbo. And that is the worst part of this entire process.
Life is rough lately. We are still without any answers regarding David's situation. Which means my life is still in limbo. Obviously, my decision is made that I'm staying with this man no matter what the outcome of this situation is. When I said "Yes," I might as well have been saying "I do." I know that this is the man that I love, the one I would do anything for, my soulmate and my life and the one I cannot live without. Hopefully, and most likely, his visa case will be approved eventually and we can get him out of that place and back home where he belongs. But on the off chance that it is denied, and we don't seek appeal (which we most likely won't, because he does not want to stay in that place any longer than he has to), and he gets sent back to Mexico, I don't care. If it takes three or four or five more years from then to bring him back to the States, I will wait that long. And in the meantime be able to go visit him whenever I can.
It just sucks. I don't want to complain. But it's hard. I have to keep up with a two-story, four-bedroom, two-bathroom house. I have to pay all the bills on my own. And now that it's not winter anymore, I have to deal with the yard maintenance once again. Cutting the grass, trimming the hedges, pulling the weeds. For someone who could barely keep the house from imploding this past winter, I just don't know if I can do it.
Everybody keeps telling me how strong I am. "Strong." But I don't know if that's actually accurate. Anytime someone tells me I'm "strong," I tell them that I don't think that's right. But they insist. I mean, if "strong" means keeping my head JUST above water enough so that I don't drown, sure, I'm strong. If it means I'm living paycheck to paycheck and keeping current with my bills SOMEHOW, then sure I'm strong. If it means my house is a disaster, my yard is unkempt, my cat litter goes too long before I clean it, there's way too many dishes in my sink, my car looks like a hoarder lives in it, and I am still able to smile and laugh at people at my job because it's my job....then sure, I'm "strong."
But I really don't feel it.
While I of course want to say that I'm able to be an "independent woman who don't need no man," it's almost impossible to go from living with a man you're going to marry who is responsible for almost 50% of your household expenses, and makes much more money than you do, and is much better at taking care of the house and the yard and all that handy stuff--to immediately living by yourself, responsible for 100% of the finances, working, and trying to take care of the things around the house that you know nothing about, and then on top of it trying to take on the responsibilities of taking on his sales business and trying to run that.
It's a lot.
I just need an answer either way. Honestly. If he can come home, that would be ideal. We could get back to our normal lives, I have complete faith that he could recover quickly with his business and selling chairs and build up what we thought was lost. If he doesn't come home, if he gets sent back to Mexico, then I need to get other plans in motion, including renting out/selling my house, other living arrangements, whatever needs to be done.
But in the meantime we're in limbo. And that is the worst part of this entire process.
Wednesday, April 5, 2017
I'm going to see him!!
Ever since I found out that, at his new facility in Louisiana, David could have contact-allowed visits....I've been trying to plan my trip down there. I've been going back and forth between road trips and flights, weighing the costs and the pros and the cons....and tonight that all finally came to fruition.
I booked my flight on Southwest!
I'm flying into New Orleans on a Friday night. I get in late, so hopefully I can still get my rental car. Will drive the three hours to stay in Pine Prairie Friday night. Visit him on Saturday for a couple hours. Not sure what I'll do after 3:00, but I'm sure I can drive up to Alexandria or even Baton Rouge for a little while. Come back and stay by Pine Prairie Saturday night, so I can see him again on Sunday. After the 3:00 visit on Sunday, I plan to drive back to NOLA and stay there Sunday and Monday nights. I didn't want my first visit to be without David, but I plan to bring my camera, and I think it will be more of a sightseeing/photographic trip at that point. And we'll return at a later date of course, to take advantage of much more of what is available!
I don't know. I don't really care, the only thing I'm concerned about is getting to see him, hug him, kiss him....right now, that's the only thing keeping me going while not knowing a date for his release still. So...if he is released before then, it would be AMAZING obviously. But if he's not....at least I will get to see him two days in a row, and be able to touch him for the first time in 9 months! Yes, that is how long it will have been if I visit him in May. Crazy, right??
So the trip is set. At least if I have nothing else, I have that date to look forward to. Sometimes that's all you can hope for. Right?
I booked my flight on Southwest!
I'm flying into New Orleans on a Friday night. I get in late, so hopefully I can still get my rental car. Will drive the three hours to stay in Pine Prairie Friday night. Visit him on Saturday for a couple hours. Not sure what I'll do after 3:00, but I'm sure I can drive up to Alexandria or even Baton Rouge for a little while. Come back and stay by Pine Prairie Saturday night, so I can see him again on Sunday. After the 3:00 visit on Sunday, I plan to drive back to NOLA and stay there Sunday and Monday nights. I didn't want my first visit to be without David, but I plan to bring my camera, and I think it will be more of a sightseeing/photographic trip at that point. And we'll return at a later date of course, to take advantage of much more of what is available!
I don't know. I don't really care, the only thing I'm concerned about is getting to see him, hug him, kiss him....right now, that's the only thing keeping me going while not knowing a date for his release still. So...if he is released before then, it would be AMAZING obviously. But if he's not....at least I will get to see him two days in a row, and be able to touch him for the first time in 9 months! Yes, that is how long it will have been if I visit him in May. Crazy, right??
So the trip is set. At least if I have nothing else, I have that date to look forward to. Sometimes that's all you can hope for. Right?
Thursday, March 30, 2017
Game-changer.
So, as many of you may know, David was transferred from Dodge County, Wisconsin to Pine Prairie, Louisiana last week. Initially, I was freaking out, as I tend to do. I didn't know why they were moving him, I didn't know what to expect, I was upset because I had finally planned to visit him five days later and now he was being shipped all that way down south.
Well, it actually hasn't been all that bad. Turns out they were only moving him because so many of the area facilities were becoming full or overcrowded, so they were taking the people who had been in there the longest and shipping them out. According to David: The facility is bigger and better. The officers are nicer. There are a lot less restrictions--he can use the phone at any time, he can watch TV at any time, he was able to read some of the magazines I had sent him in Dodge County that they wouldn't allow for him and put into his property (SI Swimsuit Issue, Maxim), the food is better, and HE GETS TO GO OUTSIDE! And of course the weather is much warmer and sunnier down there. So his spirits have been raised significantly. Apparently the difference is that Dodge County was an actual County Jail that hosts immigration detainees, so it was much stricter. Pine Prairie is a former prison that was closed and sold to the federal government to use strictly as an ICE detention facility, so most of the people who are in there aren't exactly criminals like you would find in a county jail.
My attorney also was able to give me the info of one of her colleague's clients. He is in pretty much the same situation as David--applied for his U-Visa, has been in custody since August, got transferred to Pine Prairie about a week before David did. So I was able to give his name to David to see if he was able to find him in there. My attorney also gave me his wife's cell phone number and said that his wife told me to feel free to reach out. I finally did today, because David needed a little more info to be able to find her husband (what color he was wearing, what section he was in, etc). So we talked quite a bit by text message. She was incredibly nice and we exchanged a lot of information about each other's cases and what she had learned from her husband about what others were saying in there. Unfortunately I had to leave for work, but she says she's going to call me tomorrow. I have a million more questions for her as I'm sure she has for me. We are both extremely frustrated with how long this is all taking, so it's a breath of fresh air to have someone who is in pretty much the same situation as me to be able to talk to and relate to!!
The one thing that really stuck out to me, and was like a "WHOA" moment, was that she said she went to visit her husband last weekend. And she told me THEY ALLOW CONTACT THERE!! When I went to visit David in Dodge Co, it was behind glass and we had to talk through a phone. Apparently at Pine Prairie, contact visits ARE allowed (contrary to what the ICE website says). She said they could hug, kiss, he could hold the kids, etc. And that moment right there was a GAME-CHANGER. I pretty much made up my mind that, despite the 13-14 hour drive, I was going to visit David no matter what. If you tell me I have two straight hours with him, for two days in a row (she said she was able to visit BOTH Saturday and Sunday), AND I'm allowed to hug him and kiss him and touch him and hold his hand for the first time in over eight months?! UM YEAH. A 14-hour drive is NOTHING. I need that, so, so bad. And I'm sure he does too.
So now all I can think about is this visit. I've already got a tentative plan in the works--a couple people were very quick to offer to road-trip down there with me, so we're working on it--but it's going to happen no matter what. I'm hoping we can make it work for the last weekend in April, so we'll see. I was trying to be optimistic that he would be released by mid-April, but now talking to this woman, it seems like her husband is a couple weeks ahead of David as far as the application process. So maybe whatever happens with his case could be a good timeline of what will happen with David's case. Like, if they reach a decision with this guy's case, we should expect one a couple weeks after that. But it depends on her timeline too, like when she received their RFE and submitted the documents and all that, compared with when we did. But that will be information I'll get from her when I talk to her on the phone, hopefully.
But yeah, when she said they allowed contact, I instantly started weighing my possibilities for going down there. It's so crazy, like at first when I thought it was gonna be the same (no-contact visits) I was like yeah....I can't justify that drive, and/or taking off work just to go see him behind a freaking glass wall. I can write to him and talk to him on the phone and save the money I'd waste on traveling. But when you are told that you have the chance to hug, kiss, hold, touch, and be right next to the person you're in love with, when you haven't had that for 8+ months (which is how long it will be by the time I do see him), it's almost like--what WOULDN'T I give for that opportunity!! I talked to him a bit about it today. He said he would love to see me of course, but I know he's worried about me driving so far. But I'm not going to do it alone. And like I've said eight million times today--IT WOULD ALL BE WORTH IT, just to give him the biggest hug ever and kiss his lips and touch his face and hold his hand. All things I have been so desperate to be able to do since August, and now I'm being told I'm allowed to do them?!
I would drive halfway around the world for that chance.
Well, it actually hasn't been all that bad. Turns out they were only moving him because so many of the area facilities were becoming full or overcrowded, so they were taking the people who had been in there the longest and shipping them out. According to David: The facility is bigger and better. The officers are nicer. There are a lot less restrictions--he can use the phone at any time, he can watch TV at any time, he was able to read some of the magazines I had sent him in Dodge County that they wouldn't allow for him and put into his property (SI Swimsuit Issue, Maxim), the food is better, and HE GETS TO GO OUTSIDE! And of course the weather is much warmer and sunnier down there. So his spirits have been raised significantly. Apparently the difference is that Dodge County was an actual County Jail that hosts immigration detainees, so it was much stricter. Pine Prairie is a former prison that was closed and sold to the federal government to use strictly as an ICE detention facility, so most of the people who are in there aren't exactly criminals like you would find in a county jail.
My attorney also was able to give me the info of one of her colleague's clients. He is in pretty much the same situation as David--applied for his U-Visa, has been in custody since August, got transferred to Pine Prairie about a week before David did. So I was able to give his name to David to see if he was able to find him in there. My attorney also gave me his wife's cell phone number and said that his wife told me to feel free to reach out. I finally did today, because David needed a little more info to be able to find her husband (what color he was wearing, what section he was in, etc). So we talked quite a bit by text message. She was incredibly nice and we exchanged a lot of information about each other's cases and what she had learned from her husband about what others were saying in there. Unfortunately I had to leave for work, but she says she's going to call me tomorrow. I have a million more questions for her as I'm sure she has for me. We are both extremely frustrated with how long this is all taking, so it's a breath of fresh air to have someone who is in pretty much the same situation as me to be able to talk to and relate to!!
The one thing that really stuck out to me, and was like a "WHOA" moment, was that she said she went to visit her husband last weekend. And she told me THEY ALLOW CONTACT THERE!! When I went to visit David in Dodge Co, it was behind glass and we had to talk through a phone. Apparently at Pine Prairie, contact visits ARE allowed (contrary to what the ICE website says). She said they could hug, kiss, he could hold the kids, etc. And that moment right there was a GAME-CHANGER. I pretty much made up my mind that, despite the 13-14 hour drive, I was going to visit David no matter what. If you tell me I have two straight hours with him, for two days in a row (she said she was able to visit BOTH Saturday and Sunday), AND I'm allowed to hug him and kiss him and touch him and hold his hand for the first time in over eight months?! UM YEAH. A 14-hour drive is NOTHING. I need that, so, so bad. And I'm sure he does too.
So now all I can think about is this visit. I've already got a tentative plan in the works--a couple people were very quick to offer to road-trip down there with me, so we're working on it--but it's going to happen no matter what. I'm hoping we can make it work for the last weekend in April, so we'll see. I was trying to be optimistic that he would be released by mid-April, but now talking to this woman, it seems like her husband is a couple weeks ahead of David as far as the application process. So maybe whatever happens with his case could be a good timeline of what will happen with David's case. Like, if they reach a decision with this guy's case, we should expect one a couple weeks after that. But it depends on her timeline too, like when she received their RFE and submitted the documents and all that, compared with when we did. But that will be information I'll get from her when I talk to her on the phone, hopefully.
But yeah, when she said they allowed contact, I instantly started weighing my possibilities for going down there. It's so crazy, like at first when I thought it was gonna be the same (no-contact visits) I was like yeah....I can't justify that drive, and/or taking off work just to go see him behind a freaking glass wall. I can write to him and talk to him on the phone and save the money I'd waste on traveling. But when you are told that you have the chance to hug, kiss, hold, touch, and be right next to the person you're in love with, when you haven't had that for 8+ months (which is how long it will be by the time I do see him), it's almost like--what WOULDN'T I give for that opportunity!! I talked to him a bit about it today. He said he would love to see me of course, but I know he's worried about me driving so far. But I'm not going to do it alone. And like I've said eight million times today--IT WOULD ALL BE WORTH IT, just to give him the biggest hug ever and kiss his lips and touch his face and hold his hand. All things I have been so desperate to be able to do since August, and now I'm being told I'm allowed to do them?!
I would drive halfway around the world for that chance.
Sunday, March 26, 2017
Don't Dream It's Over....
I had a bad dream last night.
It took place at my old house down in Florida. I've noticed that a LOT of dreams are taking place at that house lately. Crazy.
David and I had gotten in one of our stupid fights. We're talking some stupid argument as it usually is. In real life, this usually results in us going to bed angry and/or annoyed. Wake up in the morning, and one of two things happens--we both apologize, acknowledge how stupid the fight was, and make up, or he attempts to apologize and make up but I'm too much of a stubborn-ass to accept it, so I like to give him the cold shoulder and hold a grudge. Like I want to make him work for my acceptance of his apology. But I typically forgive him within a couple hours anyway. :-P
But in my dream last night, I woke up the morning after our fight, and didn't hear anything from him. I was all "Huh, well, he'll see!" Two days went by, and I still didn't hear from him. I had wanted to be the stubborn one holding a grudge, making him chase me, whatever. But after a couple days, I missed him. So I tried to text him. I got no response. After a couple of texts, I tried Facebook messenger. After a couple attempts to message him, I noticed he had all of a sudden blocked me. I got a little upset, not with him, but that I couldn't get through to him. So I tried to text him again but no response. I finally called him. It rang through to voicemail. I tried again and it went straight to voicemail. So then I tried his landline (???). A girl answered, a girl I recognized as someone I used to know and actually worked with like 5+ years ago. She claimed that David didn't want to talk with me. I begged and pleaded with her to let me talk to him but he was refusing. I felt so helpless. I couldn't get through to him and there was nothing I could do about it. I cannot remember her final words to me on that call, in that dream, but she implied that he was with her and they were both happy where they were and I should just give it up.
Needless to say, I was devastated. I realized that my stubbornness and my pride and my hard head had lost me the man I believed was my soulmate. I started crying hysterically and couldn't stop. Thank GOD I woke up in that moment. Coming out of the dream, of course I had confusion. First, did that happen? I'm alone in bed so maybe it did. But then the relief of realizing that it was just a dream. And then the reality of the fact that he is still not here with me. But also the relief that, despite our situation, we still have each other and we still love each other and we're both still in it for life.
But the message of the dream was loud and clear. DON'T BE THE STUBBORN ONE. Don't go to bed angry, don't hold grudges, don't always expect the other to continue chasing you without any effort on your part. Because what if? What if he decided he was tired of always chasing for no reason? What if he just doesn't want to deal with it anymore? What if he cuts and runs?
Of course, I don't ever expect David to resort to that. At least I would hope he wouldn't. We've been through enough of these situations that if he were gonna cut and run or get tired of chasing my forgiveness, we would have been broken up a long time ago (lol). But I also understand that I need to be a little less stubborn, a little more understanding, and a little more willing to forgive when he apologizes and asks for it. Instead of trying to be all stubborn and give him the cold shoulder and just seek that attention or that chase of him trying to get me to make up with him. Because one day it just might not turn out how I thought it would, and I could lose everything simply because of my pride and stubbornness.
And that is not worth it at ALL.
It took place at my old house down in Florida. I've noticed that a LOT of dreams are taking place at that house lately. Crazy.
David and I had gotten in one of our stupid fights. We're talking some stupid argument as it usually is. In real life, this usually results in us going to bed angry and/or annoyed. Wake up in the morning, and one of two things happens--we both apologize, acknowledge how stupid the fight was, and make up, or he attempts to apologize and make up but I'm too much of a stubborn-ass to accept it, so I like to give him the cold shoulder and hold a grudge. Like I want to make him work for my acceptance of his apology. But I typically forgive him within a couple hours anyway. :-P
But in my dream last night, I woke up the morning after our fight, and didn't hear anything from him. I was all "Huh, well, he'll see!" Two days went by, and I still didn't hear from him. I had wanted to be the stubborn one holding a grudge, making him chase me, whatever. But after a couple days, I missed him. So I tried to text him. I got no response. After a couple of texts, I tried Facebook messenger. After a couple attempts to message him, I noticed he had all of a sudden blocked me. I got a little upset, not with him, but that I couldn't get through to him. So I tried to text him again but no response. I finally called him. It rang through to voicemail. I tried again and it went straight to voicemail. So then I tried his landline (???). A girl answered, a girl I recognized as someone I used to know and actually worked with like 5+ years ago. She claimed that David didn't want to talk with me. I begged and pleaded with her to let me talk to him but he was refusing. I felt so helpless. I couldn't get through to him and there was nothing I could do about it. I cannot remember her final words to me on that call, in that dream, but she implied that he was with her and they were both happy where they were and I should just give it up.
Needless to say, I was devastated. I realized that my stubbornness and my pride and my hard head had lost me the man I believed was my soulmate. I started crying hysterically and couldn't stop. Thank GOD I woke up in that moment. Coming out of the dream, of course I had confusion. First, did that happen? I'm alone in bed so maybe it did. But then the relief of realizing that it was just a dream. And then the reality of the fact that he is still not here with me. But also the relief that, despite our situation, we still have each other and we still love each other and we're both still in it for life.
But the message of the dream was loud and clear. DON'T BE THE STUBBORN ONE. Don't go to bed angry, don't hold grudges, don't always expect the other to continue chasing you without any effort on your part. Because what if? What if he decided he was tired of always chasing for no reason? What if he just doesn't want to deal with it anymore? What if he cuts and runs?
Of course, I don't ever expect David to resort to that. At least I would hope he wouldn't. We've been through enough of these situations that if he were gonna cut and run or get tired of chasing my forgiveness, we would have been broken up a long time ago (lol). But I also understand that I need to be a little less stubborn, a little more understanding, and a little more willing to forgive when he apologizes and asks for it. Instead of trying to be all stubborn and give him the cold shoulder and just seek that attention or that chase of him trying to get me to make up with him. Because one day it just might not turn out how I thought it would, and I could lose everything simply because of my pride and stubbornness.
And that is not worth it at ALL.
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