Life is a crazy thing.
One minute we're on top of the world. We've made mistakes in the past, we haven't done things the way we imagined we would. But we've emerged from that and made a new life for ourselves. We are finally, unimaginably, happy. We have found our soulmate. We are content with our chosen profession. We have a loving family unit and a strong group of friends. We do things, we experience life, we take advantage of all the opportunities that come our way.
And then in one fell swoop, it just all comes crashing down.
I remember the person I was before August 10, 2016. But I don't remember what it felt like, and I don't think I ever will.
I changed that day. I knew it, I felt it, as soon as I got that phone call from David. That was it.
I haven't been the same since. Obviously, given what we went through, especially those first few months, it was a rollercoaster. I was up, I was down. I had days where I didn't get out of bed. I drank too much. I ate too little. I barely slept. I lost weight and I felt like shit. Everything was uncertain; everything was stressful.
Thankfully, life has righted itself just a little bit since then. Even though the answers we've gotten thus far aren't what we wanted, at least they are ANSWERS. Going through almost an entire year with no answers, essentially in limbo, having to keep your life on hold....it's not a fun thing. But in July, at least we got ONE answer. And at least David and I were able to be together again because of that answer. Despite it not being the answer that we wanted, at least we were reunited and I was able to be in his arms again after the longest year of my LIFE.
We've been reunited. We've finally gotten married. We are finally able to call each other husband and wife. And I love that. I love all that. And even if we hear nothing about the visa and I end up moving to Mexico in the spring, at least I will get to live with my husband once again. We will be together every day without having to leave each other for months at a time. I just can't do that anymore.
It just sucks because life is so different now. I am such a different person than I was before August 10, 2016. I can feel it. I try to be optimistic and positive and happy and clowning around and making people laugh. I try to be the loud, obnoxious, dramatic Lauren I used to be. But I'm really not. There's a sadness in me now. A sadness that mourns the life we had and the life we thought we would have in the future. There's a defeat in me, that things are probably going to be much different than we had imagined, and maybe a little bit more difficult. There's a wistfulness for what I had wanted in the future that might not ever come to be. And there's a fear in me, that I might have to move to a new country to be with the man that I love more than life itself. A country where I don't speak the language, I don't know the customs, I'm a target because I'm a blonde white girl, I'm a foreigner, I'm looked down upon, I'm taken advantage of. Of course I'm willing to deal with all of that to be with David, my soulmate, the love of my life. But it doesn't make it any less scary.
I've lost interest in everything here that I used to love. Holiday-related events, new restaurants, Chive-related things, even going out with friends. It's so hard to do any of that if it's not with David. Because EVERYTHING makes me think of him. And if he's not doing those things with me, it's not the same, and it just depresses me even more.
I wish things didn't have to be this way, but to be fair, I also knew the risks going into this relationship. And I was willing to deal with those risks, as has hopefully been made obvious in recent months. I will never forget when this all started happening, and during one particular phone call, David tried to give me an out -- "Baby, I know this isn't what we wanted or expected. I won't blame you if you don't want to deal with this. It's a lot. So don't feel like you have to stay." I was like "ARE YOU F&*#ING KIDDING ME?!" Because the fact of the matter is, regardless of the difficulties and the curveballs and the shit life keeps throwing at us, I'm in this for life. David knows that now. We've come a long way since August 10, 2016.
And we still have a lifetime to go. Together. <3
Friday, December 29, 2017
Thursday, December 28, 2017
Am I a Slacker or What?!
So here we are again, months later with no update!! There are so many times I get the inspiration to write, but I just don't have the motivation. It's something I really need to work on in the new year.
Anyway....I went back down to Mexico in October, and my David and I finally got hitched!! <3 <3
Yes, everything worked out. I went down there for about two and a half weeks. Unfortunately, it wasn't all fun and games that time, as most of the days were spent fulfilling obligations--going to city hall, taking pre-marital classes, filing paperwork, and then actually planning a wedding in just a few days, when we decided to do it at his house rather than the courthouse! But it was all good. I wouldn't have changed any of it for the world. I got to spend almost three weeks with my love. Despite the obligations, we got to spend a lot of time with his family, go to parties in the neighborhood, attend his nephew's (sobrino's) wedding, and of course get married ourselves! It was the fastest two and a half weeks of my entire life. And of course when it came time for me to leave....it was yet another sobfest.
I think both of us had a pretty hard time after that. Imagine getting married to the love of your life--and then having to fly to another country and be separated for an indefinite amount of time. Especially right before the holidays. We both had a little bit of a hard time being apart after that. So much so that I was like....okay dammit, I am going to go for just a couple of days in December just so I can see him before my next long trip. So I took off a Tuesday/Wednesday from work, and flew down that Sunday and came back on Wednesday. That way I could be gone for four days, but only take two days off work.
It was definitely worth it. And it so happened my trip occurred over Dia de la Virgen de Guadalupe, which is a HUGE holiday down in Mexico!! So I got to enjoy all the festivities surrounding that, which was amazing and so much fun. And of course I got to see my love, as short as our time together was. It was absolutely worth it.
And now here we are. Nearing the end of 2017. I was going through photos from this past year, and just thinking about how much time has passed. I see photos from earlier in the year, and I think--wow. That feels like it was five years ago. But in reality it was only like seven months. Time is a crazy construct. But I will most likely elaborate on my whole "year in review" in a post in the next couple of days.
In the meantime, most everything is the same. We are still waiting to hear about the visa, although with every day that passes, I lose a little more hope. We are still together and still committed to each other. We are married and we are in this to win it. But come 2018, things are going to start moving, no matter what the federal government, USCIS, or ICE tells us. There will come a day where we will eventually refuse to live with the restrictions they have put on our lives, take matters into our own hands, and make the necessary moves to finally be together for good once again.
Anyway....I went back down to Mexico in October, and my David and I finally got hitched!! <3 <3
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| Para siempre, mi amor. |
I think both of us had a pretty hard time after that. Imagine getting married to the love of your life--and then having to fly to another country and be separated for an indefinite amount of time. Especially right before the holidays. We both had a little bit of a hard time being apart after that. So much so that I was like....okay dammit, I am going to go for just a couple of days in December just so I can see him before my next long trip. So I took off a Tuesday/Wednesday from work, and flew down that Sunday and came back on Wednesday. That way I could be gone for four days, but only take two days off work.
It was definitely worth it. And it so happened my trip occurred over Dia de la Virgen de Guadalupe, which is a HUGE holiday down in Mexico!! So I got to enjoy all the festivities surrounding that, which was amazing and so much fun. And of course I got to see my love, as short as our time together was. It was absolutely worth it.
And now here we are. Nearing the end of 2017. I was going through photos from this past year, and just thinking about how much time has passed. I see photos from earlier in the year, and I think--wow. That feels like it was five years ago. But in reality it was only like seven months. Time is a crazy construct. But I will most likely elaborate on my whole "year in review" in a post in the next couple of days.
In the meantime, most everything is the same. We are still waiting to hear about the visa, although with every day that passes, I lose a little more hope. We are still together and still committed to each other. We are married and we are in this to win it. But come 2018, things are going to start moving, no matter what the federal government, USCIS, or ICE tells us. There will come a day where we will eventually refuse to live with the restrictions they have put on our lives, take matters into our own hands, and make the necessary moves to finally be together for good once again.
Monday, October 2, 2017
My Trip to Mexico!
Well would you look at that. Over two months later and I realize I never posted about my amazing trip in July to Mexico City to see the love of my life!!!
Gosh, how to condense it! So I left early (we're talking EARLY) Thursday morning (7/27) for the airport. My flight was at like 7 AM, so I got to the airport a little after 5 thanks to my gracious friend Jeff for offering to drive me to the airport and not taking no for an answer! Unfortunately I had only gotten like an hour of sleep so I was not exactly in tip-top shape. I slept a little bit on the plane, then had a layover in Houston where I had a nice hearty breakfast and bloody mary. I was soooo tempted to fall asleep on the airport floor during the remaining hour of a wait I had for my flight, but because I was alone, didn't want to get my shit stolen, and wasn't entirely confident that I would wake up OR have anyone else wake me up, I forced myself to stay awake. Made it on the connecting flight. Attempted another round of a nap and caught myself snoring a couple times (I apologize to the woman sitting next to me, LOL).
And then I landed in Mexico City!!
Let me tell you something. It was strange. For the first time in my life, I was a FOREIGNER! For the first time in my life, I was in a place where the first language was not English. And I was ALONE. It's very hard to put into words how vulnerable that makes you feel. Of course the signs had English translations (thank GOD) but it was still a very tentative situation for me--while at the same time being a little bit exciting. I had no idea what to expect.
I made my way through the line up to the customs officer. She asked in Spanish if I spoke English and I said si. She stamped my docs and sent me on my way. Then I had to make my way to baggage claim. I was so nervous I was at the wrong conveyor for a while until I finally saw one of my bags! Got all my bags loaded on to the cart, and then had to make my way to security. Woman again asked me (in Spanish) if I spoke Spanish and I said no. She told me to press the button to the left (which apparently decided if you get your bags randomly searched or not, though I had no idea). The light turned green--and I was free to go!
So I walk up to the automatic doors that take me out to where everyone is waiting on arriving passengers. It took me two seconds before I saw David across the barrier thingie, waving at me to get my attention. My heart just STOPPED. I couldn't believe he was right there in front of me, right across this walkway. He started making his way toward me and I just left my baggage cart and ran up to him and hugged him as hard as I could--and the tears just started IMMEDIATELY. Every single emotion of the past year just flowed out of my body. The anxiety, the heartache, the pain, the stress, the uncertainty, the worry, the ups and downs and the love and the hate and the frustration and the joy and all of it. I knew it was the toughest year of my life. But I had no idea what I had bottled up in myself until that moment right then. We just stood there and embraced and kissed and embraced and I just cried and cried, we're talking heaving sobs and running mascara. If I could pick one moment of my entire 34 years that I could stay in forever, it would have been that one--just relieved, happy, in the arms of my soulmate, not caring about absolutely anything else in the world.
Oh and he dressed up. And he brought me a dozen roses. And he looked sooooooo damn handsome!!! *SWOON*
Great, now I'm crying just reliving that in my mind. Awesome.
Okay so his friend's brother ended up driving us back to his house where he's living. And guess what?? David's family was throwing me a surprise party!!
It was amazing. We walked in, they threw confetti, a bunch of people showed up, everyone was soooo nice and welcoming and amazing to me despite the language barrier. There was a lot of love in the room that evening. Despite running on E, I had a really really great time with them all. Amazing food, great music, dancing, and fun. I couldn't ask for a better reception!
At some point in the night, I just absolutely needed to sleep. I was running on fumes and I had to sleep, so David took me upstairs, gave me some earplugs, tucked me in, and then went back down to join the party while I got some much needed beauty rest!! ;-)
The remainder of my few days there consisted of morning coffee/Monster on the balcony, wandering around his neighborhood, meeting up with his family and other friends around town, exploring, going downtown CDMX to see the sights, and just enjoying being with each other all day, every day. I had the most amazing time, and I really fell in love with Mexico City. It is a beautiful, amazing place with a lot to offer. And David's neighborhood in Iztapalapa was just so unique and beautiful and I loved it! There were so many things we weren't able to do this time around, but hopefully on my next visit we are able to!
Going downtown CDMX was interesting. We took public transportation, as David doesn't have a car down there. It was definitely interesting. We took a cab to a bus to the Metro, and at some point I was like...."We're still in Iztapalapa?!" Apparently it is HUGE! I had no idea. I thought it was like Brookfield, or Naperville, but no. It's more like MANHATTAN. And Mexico City as a whole is almost 1 MILLION PEOPLE MORE than NYC itself! Talk about HUGE!
But again, we got to see a lot. And I LOVED it. I cannot wait to go back and see more.
And that is a somewhat condensed version of our time together in Mexico City. Needless to say, being a big city girl, I fell in love with it there. The neighborhoods have charm. It's sooo different from America but it's a beautiful kind of different. The city is huge and amazing and has so much to offer and so much to explore, I can't wait to experience it all. Now to just learn the language so that maybe if and when I do have to move down there, I can actually get around by myself!! That is the biggest obstacle I want to overcome. There is NO way I could travel this city by public transportation, not knowing the towns/city/currency/language. I have a lot to learn but I'm willing to do it.
The hardest thing, obviously, was leaving my love. David brought me all the way up to the security gate where he couldn't proceed anymore. At his words, "Well....I guess this is it" I hugged him and immediately burst into tears worse than those which I arrived with. I didn't want to leave him. And even though I knew before that moment that he was my soulmate and the one I couldn't live without, that moment only solidified it even more. I didn't want to let him go. Everything in me wanted to just say "SCREW IT" and forget going back to the States, and stay there with him, and just start all over and let everything here go. But I knew I had to go back. So we did the whole "movie-goodbye" thing where I held on to his hand until I couldn't anymore, and then I mouthed "I love you" and he mouthed it back right before I disappeared behind the glass of security. And then I just dissolved into tears again. God bless the woman in front of me who simply held out her travel pack of Kleenex so that I could take one for myself. I wanted to hug her, but I thought the situation was weird enough as it was.
I cried a lot more that day. Sitting waiting for the plane, cried (during which I almost had a moment of temporary insanity of "WHAT IF I JUST STOOD UP AND MADE A RUN FOR IT AND DAVID AND I RAN AWAY TOGETHER FOREVER"). Getting on the plane, cried. Taking off from the runway in Mexico City, cried. Checking my passport into Customs once I arrived back in America (you can see from the photo they took of me, how pissed I was to be coming home). Waiting two hours again at the Houston airport to fly back to Chicago, cried at the bar. When I finally got home, I had no tears left.
Of course I had hoped to go back in September, but due to other circumstances, I had to move my trip to October. And now here we are! Five days away from getting to see him again!! Back in August when I returned, I felt like it was going to be FOREVER before I could see David again. And it has been a very, very long wait. But we're in the home stretch! And this time, I get to be there for over two weeks! *AND WE'RE GETTING MARRIED!!!!!!*
Well, I hope we're getting married at least. Still working on all that mess....aaaand that should come in a future post I'm sure!
Gosh, how to condense it! So I left early (we're talking EARLY) Thursday morning (7/27) for the airport. My flight was at like 7 AM, so I got to the airport a little after 5 thanks to my gracious friend Jeff for offering to drive me to the airport and not taking no for an answer! Unfortunately I had only gotten like an hour of sleep so I was not exactly in tip-top shape. I slept a little bit on the plane, then had a layover in Houston where I had a nice hearty breakfast and bloody mary. I was soooo tempted to fall asleep on the airport floor during the remaining hour of a wait I had for my flight, but because I was alone, didn't want to get my shit stolen, and wasn't entirely confident that I would wake up OR have anyone else wake me up, I forced myself to stay awake. Made it on the connecting flight. Attempted another round of a nap and caught myself snoring a couple times (I apologize to the woman sitting next to me, LOL).
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| Soooo stinkin tired! |
And then I landed in Mexico City!!
Let me tell you something. It was strange. For the first time in my life, I was a FOREIGNER! For the first time in my life, I was in a place where the first language was not English. And I was ALONE. It's very hard to put into words how vulnerable that makes you feel. Of course the signs had English translations (thank GOD) but it was still a very tentative situation for me--while at the same time being a little bit exciting. I had no idea what to expect.
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| I'm officially a Foreigner. EXTRANJERO! |
So I walk up to the automatic doors that take me out to where everyone is waiting on arriving passengers. It took me two seconds before I saw David across the barrier thingie, waving at me to get my attention. My heart just STOPPED. I couldn't believe he was right there in front of me, right across this walkway. He started making his way toward me and I just left my baggage cart and ran up to him and hugged him as hard as I could--and the tears just started IMMEDIATELY. Every single emotion of the past year just flowed out of my body. The anxiety, the heartache, the pain, the stress, the uncertainty, the worry, the ups and downs and the love and the hate and the frustration and the joy and all of it. I knew it was the toughest year of my life. But I had no idea what I had bottled up in myself until that moment right then. We just stood there and embraced and kissed and embraced and I just cried and cried, we're talking heaving sobs and running mascara. If I could pick one moment of my entire 34 years that I could stay in forever, it would have been that one--just relieved, happy, in the arms of my soulmate, not caring about absolutely anything else in the world.
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| So happy you can't see how horribly I was crying! |
Great, now I'm crying just reliving that in my mind. Awesome.
Okay so his friend's brother ended up driving us back to his house where he's living. And guess what?? David's family was throwing me a surprise party!!
It was amazing. We walked in, they threw confetti, a bunch of people showed up, everyone was soooo nice and welcoming and amazing to me despite the language barrier. There was a lot of love in the room that evening. Despite running on E, I had a really really great time with them all. Amazing food, great music, dancing, and fun. I couldn't ask for a better reception!
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| There were a lot more people than are pictured here! |
The remainder of my few days there consisted of morning coffee/Monster on the balcony, wandering around his neighborhood, meeting up with his family and other friends around town, exploring, going downtown CDMX to see the sights, and just enjoying being with each other all day, every day. I had the most amazing time, and I really fell in love with Mexico City. It is a beautiful, amazing place with a lot to offer. And David's neighborhood in Iztapalapa was just so unique and beautiful and I loved it! There were so many things we weren't able to do this time around, but hopefully on my next visit we are able to!
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| Morning coffee |
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| David's barrio |
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| La Michoacana! |
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| View from David's rooftop |
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| I just LOVE the colorful houses! |
Going downtown CDMX was interesting. We took public transportation, as David doesn't have a car down there. It was definitely interesting. We took a cab to a bus to the Metro, and at some point I was like...."We're still in Iztapalapa?!" Apparently it is HUGE! I had no idea. I thought it was like Brookfield, or Naperville, but no. It's more like MANHATTAN. And Mexico City as a whole is almost 1 MILLION PEOPLE MORE than NYC itself! Talk about HUGE!
But again, we got to see a lot. And I LOVED it. I cannot wait to go back and see more.
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| Monumento a la Revolución |
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| El Angel de la Independencia |
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| Zocalo |
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| Zocalo, view from the top of El Catedral |
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| Torre Latino |
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| Festival of San Martha |
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| Rollercoaster! |
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| Benitooooo! |
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| Con pulque at Rancho Loma Ancha |
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| Benito Juarez Hemicycle |
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| Palacio de Bellas Artes |
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| Mezcal! |
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| Amor |
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| Trolley ride in Coyoacan |
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| Amazing food in Coyoacan! |
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| Gorditas deliciosas! |
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| Mi amor y yo |
The hardest thing, obviously, was leaving my love. David brought me all the way up to the security gate where he couldn't proceed anymore. At his words, "Well....I guess this is it" I hugged him and immediately burst into tears worse than those which I arrived with. I didn't want to leave him. And even though I knew before that moment that he was my soulmate and the one I couldn't live without, that moment only solidified it even more. I didn't want to let him go. Everything in me wanted to just say "SCREW IT" and forget going back to the States, and stay there with him, and just start all over and let everything here go. But I knew I had to go back. So we did the whole "movie-goodbye" thing where I held on to his hand until I couldn't anymore, and then I mouthed "I love you" and he mouthed it back right before I disappeared behind the glass of security. And then I just dissolved into tears again. God bless the woman in front of me who simply held out her travel pack of Kleenex so that I could take one for myself. I wanted to hug her, but I thought the situation was weird enough as it was.
I cried a lot more that day. Sitting waiting for the plane, cried (during which I almost had a moment of temporary insanity of "WHAT IF I JUST STOOD UP AND MADE A RUN FOR IT AND DAVID AND I RAN AWAY TOGETHER FOREVER"). Getting on the plane, cried. Taking off from the runway in Mexico City, cried. Checking my passport into Customs once I arrived back in America (you can see from the photo they took of me, how pissed I was to be coming home). Waiting two hours again at the Houston airport to fly back to Chicago, cried at the bar. When I finally got home, I had no tears left.
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| The only time I've ever *hated* being in America. |
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| Going "home"....even though it felt nothing like that anymore. |
Well, I hope we're getting married at least. Still working on all that mess....aaaand that should come in a future post I'm sure!
Tuesday, July 25, 2017
And so it is.
On July 6, 2017, David was deported back to Mexico.
Reading that sentence, it seems very harsh and callous. But ultimately, that is the reality of our situation, the reality we have come to accept.
Everything that I wrote in my last entry still holds true. We are still awaiting a decision on David's visa, and if that comes soon, this could all be over relatively quickly. But even if it doesn't, we still have options.
The most important thing, and the BEST thing about our situation right now, is that in a little over 24 hours, I will be on my way to the airport, and shortly after that I will be on a plane to Mexico City!!
Yes, I will FINALLY get to be reunited with my love!! After all this time....Almost a whole year apart from each other, we will finally get to be together again. FOR REAL.
I absolutely cannot wait. I haven't been this excited for something since I was like 8 years old and still believed in Santa Claus. I honestly feel like a little girl; every time someone asks if I'm ready for my trip, or am I excited? I jump up and down a little and kind of let out a little squeal. It's a little weird to be honest, but I can't help it! :-D I'm kind of bummed that I'm only going for a few days this time, but at this point I'll take whatever I can get. And we're also going to plan my next trip, most likely sometime in September, and for 2-3 weeks that time. I cannot WAIT!!
So yeah, there's definitely a silver lining. David is free, and he'd much rather be free in Mexico than be locked up in that prison for one more day. He's living in his parents' house down there, making repairs, cleaning it up, and getting it lived in. He has a bit of family nearby so he's always visiting with people. He applied for a bilingual customer service and sales position with AT&T down there, had two interviews....and we just found out today that he was hired! And of course I'm coming down this week...so things are good. Or as good as we could hope for them to be at this point.
The future may still be uncertain, but I'm faithful that God has a plan. This is making us stronger in the long run. And it is a true test of our relationship and future marriage; if we can get through this? I'm convinced we can get through ANYTHING.
But for now, I'm just counting down the hours until I am no longer separated from the man I love with all my heart.
Reading that sentence, it seems very harsh and callous. But ultimately, that is the reality of our situation, the reality we have come to accept.
Everything that I wrote in my last entry still holds true. We are still awaiting a decision on David's visa, and if that comes soon, this could all be over relatively quickly. But even if it doesn't, we still have options.
The most important thing, and the BEST thing about our situation right now, is that in a little over 24 hours, I will be on my way to the airport, and shortly after that I will be on a plane to Mexico City!!
Yes, I will FINALLY get to be reunited with my love!! After all this time....Almost a whole year apart from each other, we will finally get to be together again. FOR REAL.
I absolutely cannot wait. I haven't been this excited for something since I was like 8 years old and still believed in Santa Claus. I honestly feel like a little girl; every time someone asks if I'm ready for my trip, or am I excited? I jump up and down a little and kind of let out a little squeal. It's a little weird to be honest, but I can't help it! :-D I'm kind of bummed that I'm only going for a few days this time, but at this point I'll take whatever I can get. And we're also going to plan my next trip, most likely sometime in September, and for 2-3 weeks that time. I cannot WAIT!!
So yeah, there's definitely a silver lining. David is free, and he'd much rather be free in Mexico than be locked up in that prison for one more day. He's living in his parents' house down there, making repairs, cleaning it up, and getting it lived in. He has a bit of family nearby so he's always visiting with people. He applied for a bilingual customer service and sales position with AT&T down there, had two interviews....and we just found out today that he was hired! And of course I'm coming down this week...so things are good. Or as good as we could hope for them to be at this point.
The future may still be uncertain, but I'm faithful that God has a plan. This is making us stronger in the long run. And it is a true test of our relationship and future marriage; if we can get through this? I'm convinced we can get through ANYTHING.
But for now, I'm just counting down the hours until I am no longer separated from the man I love with all my heart.
Friday, June 30, 2017
Life Happens.
Well, it appears as if David's case is finally nearing an end. However, it is a very real possibility that it will not be the "end" that we were hoping for, unfortunately. The way things are moving now, we have had to address the "what if" situation of David being sent back to Mexico. Obviously that is not what we WANT, but it very well could happen at this point.
Everything is hinging on his 9-month custody review decision. The officer assigned to his case (which is different than the officer who made the decision to continue detention at his 3-month and 6-month review) has submitted his recommendation to the ERO headquarters in Washington, DC. They are the ones who ultimately decide whether to release David, or continue to detain him. Unfortunately at this point, according to our attorney, if the decision is made to continue detention, then they will most likely remove him from the country instead of keeping him in custody. The policy regarding U-visa petitioners has changed, and they have decided that individuals who have applied for that visa don't necessarily need to wait for the visa while they are in the U.S. They can just go back to their country to await a decision. I believe this is partly due to the current administration's immigration policies, but also partly due to the fact that the number of U-visa petitions that come in are just growing like crazy every year. At this point, there are over 100,000 pending U-visa petitions--up from less than 50,000 just three years ago, and less than 20,000 five years ago.
Obviously we are hoping for a decision to release him. At this point that is the best-case scenario we can hope for. Unfortunately, there is a very slim chance that they will make that decision. It is more likely that they will decide to continue detaining him--and therefore send him back to Mexico. Although it's not what we are hoping for and definitely not what we want, there are a few silver linings in that case. The first of course is that he will be FREE. Even if he's in a different country, at least he is FREE. He no longer has to be locked up and restricted and all that crap. The other is, even if he gets sent back to Mexico, his visa will still be pending a decision. Since it appears that a decision will be made in the next month or so, ICE may not bother to remove the expedited status once he is out of custody, and we will still most likely hear something about the visa soon. If it gets approved, then we can start the parole process, and hopefully he would only be gone about three or four months total. Yes, it would suck for him to be stuck in custody for 11 months and STILL get sent back to Mexico in the end, at least the fact remains that because he was in custody, his petition was expedited, and that of course was a benefit to his case as well. And at least then, I can actually fly down there and go see him and be with him and we can be together again, FINALLY! So, hopefully it won't be too bad even if the worst that we expect actually does happen. And if his visa doesn't end up working out, then we can get married and start the process of bringing him back with a waiver and a petition for an alien relative. No matter what, and no matter how long, he WILL be back here....we'll find a way, and I will not stop fighting for him.
Of course this situation sucks. Of course this is not how we pictured our life together turning out. Things were good. We were living together in our house, we were working, he was building his business, we were doing amazing things together (vacations, events, date nights, just having fun and making memories), we were spending time with friends and family, we were happy and enjoying life. We expected things to always be that way. We were supposed to spend every birthday and holiday and milestone together. We were supposed to plan our wedding and we probably would have been married by now. We were supposed to attend certain events and do certain things together. But so many times, life is a lot of "supposed to" that doesn't necessarily work out that way. And that's okay, because it happens. And the thing that matters most is NOT whether life is working out the way we planned or expected it to. The thing that matters most is how we react to those circumstances. The thing that matters most is that we have each other, and we will be together in the end no matter what happens or where in this world we end up. We will face these challenges together and come out stronger on the other side.
I am crazy in love with David. And he is crazy in love with me. Sometimes you just know when someone is your soulmate. I know that I cannot live without him, and this past almost-year has been the most difficult time of my life (and his of course), having to be away from each other and going through this whole immigration fiasco. But I'm in it for life. The moment David put that ring on my finger was the best moment of my whole life, hands down. We may not yet have said "I do," but that doesn't mean I'm not already committed to that man, to our future, and to the rest of our life together. We don't need a fancy ceremony, a big ordeal, or a piece of paper to confirm the fact that we ARE together--for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, as long as we both shall live. Because we already know that's the case. Sure, eventually we will *officially* make those vows....but for right now we are living them, and that's something we intend to do forever.
Obviously we are hoping for a decision to release him. At this point that is the best-case scenario we can hope for. Unfortunately, there is a very slim chance that they will make that decision. It is more likely that they will decide to continue detaining him--and therefore send him back to Mexico. Although it's not what we are hoping for and definitely not what we want, there are a few silver linings in that case. The first of course is that he will be FREE. Even if he's in a different country, at least he is FREE. He no longer has to be locked up and restricted and all that crap. The other is, even if he gets sent back to Mexico, his visa will still be pending a decision. Since it appears that a decision will be made in the next month or so, ICE may not bother to remove the expedited status once he is out of custody, and we will still most likely hear something about the visa soon. If it gets approved, then we can start the parole process, and hopefully he would only be gone about three or four months total. Yes, it would suck for him to be stuck in custody for 11 months and STILL get sent back to Mexico in the end, at least the fact remains that because he was in custody, his petition was expedited, and that of course was a benefit to his case as well. And at least then, I can actually fly down there and go see him and be with him and we can be together again, FINALLY! So, hopefully it won't be too bad even if the worst that we expect actually does happen. And if his visa doesn't end up working out, then we can get married and start the process of bringing him back with a waiver and a petition for an alien relative. No matter what, and no matter how long, he WILL be back here....we'll find a way, and I will not stop fighting for him.
Of course this situation sucks. Of course this is not how we pictured our life together turning out. Things were good. We were living together in our house, we were working, he was building his business, we were doing amazing things together (vacations, events, date nights, just having fun and making memories), we were spending time with friends and family, we were happy and enjoying life. We expected things to always be that way. We were supposed to spend every birthday and holiday and milestone together. We were supposed to plan our wedding and we probably would have been married by now. We were supposed to attend certain events and do certain things together. But so many times, life is a lot of "supposed to" that doesn't necessarily work out that way. And that's okay, because it happens. And the thing that matters most is NOT whether life is working out the way we planned or expected it to. The thing that matters most is how we react to those circumstances. The thing that matters most is that we have each other, and we will be together in the end no matter what happens or where in this world we end up. We will face these challenges together and come out stronger on the other side.
I am crazy in love with David. And he is crazy in love with me. Sometimes you just know when someone is your soulmate. I know that I cannot live without him, and this past almost-year has been the most difficult time of my life (and his of course), having to be away from each other and going through this whole immigration fiasco. But I'm in it for life. The moment David put that ring on my finger was the best moment of my whole life, hands down. We may not yet have said "I do," but that doesn't mean I'm not already committed to that man, to our future, and to the rest of our life together. We don't need a fancy ceremony, a big ordeal, or a piece of paper to confirm the fact that we ARE together--for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, as long as we both shall live. Because we already know that's the case. Sure, eventually we will *officially* make those vows....but for right now we are living them, and that's something we intend to do forever.
Monday, May 15, 2017
It's Almost Time
It's almost time. In FIVE DAYS I will get to see the love of my life again!!!
Things are a bit better than how I felt the last time I posted. I just re-read that one. I was feeling pretty down when I wrote it. But that's my life lately. Ups and downs, hopes and crushed hopes, laughs and cries. My life has been the biggest rollercoaster in the last nine months but obviously in the situation I'm in, you can't be surprised.
So since that last post I've actually been able to pretty much get my shit together! Got my house clean for the most part, had some friends over last Sunday for a yard work party and got the yard back in order, and then cleaned out my car last Tuesday so it doesn't look like such a trash hole! (And I got it washed today so it's all nice and shiny too!)
Yup, so things are almost back to normal around here. I still have some things to do to get the house where I want it to be, but for the most part it's in better shape than it has been for MONTHS. And that makes me feel good.
At the same time, there has been a slight change in David's situation that makes me feel a lot better about it too. I can't write about it here, but let's just say I feel much closer to him and he feels a bit more freedom on his end for the time being. If you want to know, ask me. But it's a good thing.
And of course as it stands, I am leaving in four days to finally go see him!! Yesterday was a long-ass Mother's Day shift at work, obviously I survived, thank goodness. Then I had Monday and Tuesday off....planned to be used to get things in order for my trip. I work Wednesday and Thursday. Friday I am getting my hair done, and then heading to the airport! My flight gets in to New Orleans late Friday night, at which point I will pick up my rental car and drive the three hours west to Oakdale, where I am staying. I'll hopefully fall asleep right away, lol....gotta wake up and get ready to be at Pine Prairie at 9 AM. David's visiting hours are 10-2 and I want to be there early enough to ensure that I get in for my full two hours.
And OMG when I see him.....I can't even tell you. There will be tears. There will be lots of hugging and kissing. I will grab his ass at some point, and I'm sure he'll grab mine. And then I will get to spend two whole hours next to him. I can't even tell you what that will be like. I mean we'll probably spend the majority of it making out, since I talk to him every day anyway....HAH! But seriously. I will just be thankful for the time I have next to him.
When I leave, I'll return to the hotel. It has a pool, so if the weather is nice, I'll lay out and try to not burn my pasty-ass skin. Haha....I'll go grab dinner at some greasy spoon, maybe have a couple drinks at a dive bar, and then head back to the hotel room to sleep.
Sunday, I'll do it all over again. I get two more hours with him. I cannot wait.
After that visit, I'll drive back to NOLA and return the rental car. Then I'll take the bus to my hotel. Check in, and start my solo adventure in New Orleans! I'm most looking forward to eating and photographing while I'm there. I have quite the list of things I want to see/do/eat/drink....we'll see how much of that I can accomplish in a day and a half!
In any case, I'm most excited about seeing David. Obviously. But I'm sure I will return here and document everything from that trip, so stay tuned.....
Things are a bit better than how I felt the last time I posted. I just re-read that one. I was feeling pretty down when I wrote it. But that's my life lately. Ups and downs, hopes and crushed hopes, laughs and cries. My life has been the biggest rollercoaster in the last nine months but obviously in the situation I'm in, you can't be surprised.
So since that last post I've actually been able to pretty much get my shit together! Got my house clean for the most part, had some friends over last Sunday for a yard work party and got the yard back in order, and then cleaned out my car last Tuesday so it doesn't look like such a trash hole! (And I got it washed today so it's all nice and shiny too!)
Yup, so things are almost back to normal around here. I still have some things to do to get the house where I want it to be, but for the most part it's in better shape than it has been for MONTHS. And that makes me feel good.
At the same time, there has been a slight change in David's situation that makes me feel a lot better about it too. I can't write about it here, but let's just say I feel much closer to him and he feels a bit more freedom on his end for the time being. If you want to know, ask me. But it's a good thing.
And of course as it stands, I am leaving in four days to finally go see him!! Yesterday was a long-ass Mother's Day shift at work, obviously I survived, thank goodness. Then I had Monday and Tuesday off....planned to be used to get things in order for my trip. I work Wednesday and Thursday. Friday I am getting my hair done, and then heading to the airport! My flight gets in to New Orleans late Friday night, at which point I will pick up my rental car and drive the three hours west to Oakdale, where I am staying. I'll hopefully fall asleep right away, lol....gotta wake up and get ready to be at Pine Prairie at 9 AM. David's visiting hours are 10-2 and I want to be there early enough to ensure that I get in for my full two hours.
And OMG when I see him.....I can't even tell you. There will be tears. There will be lots of hugging and kissing. I will grab his ass at some point, and I'm sure he'll grab mine. And then I will get to spend two whole hours next to him. I can't even tell you what that will be like. I mean we'll probably spend the majority of it making out, since I talk to him every day anyway....HAH! But seriously. I will just be thankful for the time I have next to him.
When I leave, I'll return to the hotel. It has a pool, so if the weather is nice, I'll lay out and try to not burn my pasty-ass skin. Haha....I'll go grab dinner at some greasy spoon, maybe have a couple drinks at a dive bar, and then head back to the hotel room to sleep.
Sunday, I'll do it all over again. I get two more hours with him. I cannot wait.
After that visit, I'll drive back to NOLA and return the rental car. Then I'll take the bus to my hotel. Check in, and start my solo adventure in New Orleans! I'm most looking forward to eating and photographing while I'm there. I have quite the list of things I want to see/do/eat/drink....we'll see how much of that I can accomplish in a day and a half!
In any case, I'm most excited about seeing David. Obviously. But I'm sure I will return here and document everything from that trip, so stay tuned.....
Tuesday, April 25, 2017
I'm Still Here
Yes, I'm still here. Barely, but I'm here.
Life is rough lately. We are still without any answers regarding David's situation. Which means my life is still in limbo. Obviously, my decision is made that I'm staying with this man no matter what the outcome of this situation is. When I said "Yes," I might as well have been saying "I do." I know that this is the man that I love, the one I would do anything for, my soulmate and my life and the one I cannot live without. Hopefully, and most likely, his visa case will be approved eventually and we can get him out of that place and back home where he belongs. But on the off chance that it is denied, and we don't seek appeal (which we most likely won't, because he does not want to stay in that place any longer than he has to), and he gets sent back to Mexico, I don't care. If it takes three or four or five more years from then to bring him back to the States, I will wait that long. And in the meantime be able to go visit him whenever I can.
It just sucks. I don't want to complain. But it's hard. I have to keep up with a two-story, four-bedroom, two-bathroom house. I have to pay all the bills on my own. And now that it's not winter anymore, I have to deal with the yard maintenance once again. Cutting the grass, trimming the hedges, pulling the weeds. For someone who could barely keep the house from imploding this past winter, I just don't know if I can do it.
Everybody keeps telling me how strong I am. "Strong." But I don't know if that's actually accurate. Anytime someone tells me I'm "strong," I tell them that I don't think that's right. But they insist. I mean, if "strong" means keeping my head JUST above water enough so that I don't drown, sure, I'm strong. If it means I'm living paycheck to paycheck and keeping current with my bills SOMEHOW, then sure I'm strong. If it means my house is a disaster, my yard is unkempt, my cat litter goes too long before I clean it, there's way too many dishes in my sink, my car looks like a hoarder lives in it, and I am still able to smile and laugh at people at my job because it's my job....then sure, I'm "strong."
But I really don't feel it.
While I of course want to say that I'm able to be an "independent woman who don't need no man," it's almost impossible to go from living with a man you're going to marry who is responsible for almost 50% of your household expenses, and makes much more money than you do, and is much better at taking care of the house and the yard and all that handy stuff--to immediately living by yourself, responsible for 100% of the finances, working, and trying to take care of the things around the house that you know nothing about, and then on top of it trying to take on the responsibilities of taking on his sales business and trying to run that.
It's a lot.
I just need an answer either way. Honestly. If he can come home, that would be ideal. We could get back to our normal lives, I have complete faith that he could recover quickly with his business and selling chairs and build up what we thought was lost. If he doesn't come home, if he gets sent back to Mexico, then I need to get other plans in motion, including renting out/selling my house, other living arrangements, whatever needs to be done.
But in the meantime we're in limbo. And that is the worst part of this entire process.
Life is rough lately. We are still without any answers regarding David's situation. Which means my life is still in limbo. Obviously, my decision is made that I'm staying with this man no matter what the outcome of this situation is. When I said "Yes," I might as well have been saying "I do." I know that this is the man that I love, the one I would do anything for, my soulmate and my life and the one I cannot live without. Hopefully, and most likely, his visa case will be approved eventually and we can get him out of that place and back home where he belongs. But on the off chance that it is denied, and we don't seek appeal (which we most likely won't, because he does not want to stay in that place any longer than he has to), and he gets sent back to Mexico, I don't care. If it takes three or four or five more years from then to bring him back to the States, I will wait that long. And in the meantime be able to go visit him whenever I can.
It just sucks. I don't want to complain. But it's hard. I have to keep up with a two-story, four-bedroom, two-bathroom house. I have to pay all the bills on my own. And now that it's not winter anymore, I have to deal with the yard maintenance once again. Cutting the grass, trimming the hedges, pulling the weeds. For someone who could barely keep the house from imploding this past winter, I just don't know if I can do it.
Everybody keeps telling me how strong I am. "Strong." But I don't know if that's actually accurate. Anytime someone tells me I'm "strong," I tell them that I don't think that's right. But they insist. I mean, if "strong" means keeping my head JUST above water enough so that I don't drown, sure, I'm strong. If it means I'm living paycheck to paycheck and keeping current with my bills SOMEHOW, then sure I'm strong. If it means my house is a disaster, my yard is unkempt, my cat litter goes too long before I clean it, there's way too many dishes in my sink, my car looks like a hoarder lives in it, and I am still able to smile and laugh at people at my job because it's my job....then sure, I'm "strong."
But I really don't feel it.
While I of course want to say that I'm able to be an "independent woman who don't need no man," it's almost impossible to go from living with a man you're going to marry who is responsible for almost 50% of your household expenses, and makes much more money than you do, and is much better at taking care of the house and the yard and all that handy stuff--to immediately living by yourself, responsible for 100% of the finances, working, and trying to take care of the things around the house that you know nothing about, and then on top of it trying to take on the responsibilities of taking on his sales business and trying to run that.
It's a lot.
I just need an answer either way. Honestly. If he can come home, that would be ideal. We could get back to our normal lives, I have complete faith that he could recover quickly with his business and selling chairs and build up what we thought was lost. If he doesn't come home, if he gets sent back to Mexico, then I need to get other plans in motion, including renting out/selling my house, other living arrangements, whatever needs to be done.
But in the meantime we're in limbo. And that is the worst part of this entire process.
Wednesday, April 5, 2017
I'm going to see him!!
Ever since I found out that, at his new facility in Louisiana, David could have contact-allowed visits....I've been trying to plan my trip down there. I've been going back and forth between road trips and flights, weighing the costs and the pros and the cons....and tonight that all finally came to fruition.
I booked my flight on Southwest!
I'm flying into New Orleans on a Friday night. I get in late, so hopefully I can still get my rental car. Will drive the three hours to stay in Pine Prairie Friday night. Visit him on Saturday for a couple hours. Not sure what I'll do after 3:00, but I'm sure I can drive up to Alexandria or even Baton Rouge for a little while. Come back and stay by Pine Prairie Saturday night, so I can see him again on Sunday. After the 3:00 visit on Sunday, I plan to drive back to NOLA and stay there Sunday and Monday nights. I didn't want my first visit to be without David, but I plan to bring my camera, and I think it will be more of a sightseeing/photographic trip at that point. And we'll return at a later date of course, to take advantage of much more of what is available!
I don't know. I don't really care, the only thing I'm concerned about is getting to see him, hug him, kiss him....right now, that's the only thing keeping me going while not knowing a date for his release still. So...if he is released before then, it would be AMAZING obviously. But if he's not....at least I will get to see him two days in a row, and be able to touch him for the first time in 9 months! Yes, that is how long it will have been if I visit him in May. Crazy, right??
So the trip is set. At least if I have nothing else, I have that date to look forward to. Sometimes that's all you can hope for. Right?
I booked my flight on Southwest!
I'm flying into New Orleans on a Friday night. I get in late, so hopefully I can still get my rental car. Will drive the three hours to stay in Pine Prairie Friday night. Visit him on Saturday for a couple hours. Not sure what I'll do after 3:00, but I'm sure I can drive up to Alexandria or even Baton Rouge for a little while. Come back and stay by Pine Prairie Saturday night, so I can see him again on Sunday. After the 3:00 visit on Sunday, I plan to drive back to NOLA and stay there Sunday and Monday nights. I didn't want my first visit to be without David, but I plan to bring my camera, and I think it will be more of a sightseeing/photographic trip at that point. And we'll return at a later date of course, to take advantage of much more of what is available!
I don't know. I don't really care, the only thing I'm concerned about is getting to see him, hug him, kiss him....right now, that's the only thing keeping me going while not knowing a date for his release still. So...if he is released before then, it would be AMAZING obviously. But if he's not....at least I will get to see him two days in a row, and be able to touch him for the first time in 9 months! Yes, that is how long it will have been if I visit him in May. Crazy, right??
So the trip is set. At least if I have nothing else, I have that date to look forward to. Sometimes that's all you can hope for. Right?
Thursday, March 30, 2017
Game-changer.
So, as many of you may know, David was transferred from Dodge County, Wisconsin to Pine Prairie, Louisiana last week. Initially, I was freaking out, as I tend to do. I didn't know why they were moving him, I didn't know what to expect, I was upset because I had finally planned to visit him five days later and now he was being shipped all that way down south.
Well, it actually hasn't been all that bad. Turns out they were only moving him because so many of the area facilities were becoming full or overcrowded, so they were taking the people who had been in there the longest and shipping them out. According to David: The facility is bigger and better. The officers are nicer. There are a lot less restrictions--he can use the phone at any time, he can watch TV at any time, he was able to read some of the magazines I had sent him in Dodge County that they wouldn't allow for him and put into his property (SI Swimsuit Issue, Maxim), the food is better, and HE GETS TO GO OUTSIDE! And of course the weather is much warmer and sunnier down there. So his spirits have been raised significantly. Apparently the difference is that Dodge County was an actual County Jail that hosts immigration detainees, so it was much stricter. Pine Prairie is a former prison that was closed and sold to the federal government to use strictly as an ICE detention facility, so most of the people who are in there aren't exactly criminals like you would find in a county jail.
My attorney also was able to give me the info of one of her colleague's clients. He is in pretty much the same situation as David--applied for his U-Visa, has been in custody since August, got transferred to Pine Prairie about a week before David did. So I was able to give his name to David to see if he was able to find him in there. My attorney also gave me his wife's cell phone number and said that his wife told me to feel free to reach out. I finally did today, because David needed a little more info to be able to find her husband (what color he was wearing, what section he was in, etc). So we talked quite a bit by text message. She was incredibly nice and we exchanged a lot of information about each other's cases and what she had learned from her husband about what others were saying in there. Unfortunately I had to leave for work, but she says she's going to call me tomorrow. I have a million more questions for her as I'm sure she has for me. We are both extremely frustrated with how long this is all taking, so it's a breath of fresh air to have someone who is in pretty much the same situation as me to be able to talk to and relate to!!
The one thing that really stuck out to me, and was like a "WHOA" moment, was that she said she went to visit her husband last weekend. And she told me THEY ALLOW CONTACT THERE!! When I went to visit David in Dodge Co, it was behind glass and we had to talk through a phone. Apparently at Pine Prairie, contact visits ARE allowed (contrary to what the ICE website says). She said they could hug, kiss, he could hold the kids, etc. And that moment right there was a GAME-CHANGER. I pretty much made up my mind that, despite the 13-14 hour drive, I was going to visit David no matter what. If you tell me I have two straight hours with him, for two days in a row (she said she was able to visit BOTH Saturday and Sunday), AND I'm allowed to hug him and kiss him and touch him and hold his hand for the first time in over eight months?! UM YEAH. A 14-hour drive is NOTHING. I need that, so, so bad. And I'm sure he does too.
So now all I can think about is this visit. I've already got a tentative plan in the works--a couple people were very quick to offer to road-trip down there with me, so we're working on it--but it's going to happen no matter what. I'm hoping we can make it work for the last weekend in April, so we'll see. I was trying to be optimistic that he would be released by mid-April, but now talking to this woman, it seems like her husband is a couple weeks ahead of David as far as the application process. So maybe whatever happens with his case could be a good timeline of what will happen with David's case. Like, if they reach a decision with this guy's case, we should expect one a couple weeks after that. But it depends on her timeline too, like when she received their RFE and submitted the documents and all that, compared with when we did. But that will be information I'll get from her when I talk to her on the phone, hopefully.
But yeah, when she said they allowed contact, I instantly started weighing my possibilities for going down there. It's so crazy, like at first when I thought it was gonna be the same (no-contact visits) I was like yeah....I can't justify that drive, and/or taking off work just to go see him behind a freaking glass wall. I can write to him and talk to him on the phone and save the money I'd waste on traveling. But when you are told that you have the chance to hug, kiss, hold, touch, and be right next to the person you're in love with, when you haven't had that for 8+ months (which is how long it will be by the time I do see him), it's almost like--what WOULDN'T I give for that opportunity!! I talked to him a bit about it today. He said he would love to see me of course, but I know he's worried about me driving so far. But I'm not going to do it alone. And like I've said eight million times today--IT WOULD ALL BE WORTH IT, just to give him the biggest hug ever and kiss his lips and touch his face and hold his hand. All things I have been so desperate to be able to do since August, and now I'm being told I'm allowed to do them?!
I would drive halfway around the world for that chance.
Well, it actually hasn't been all that bad. Turns out they were only moving him because so many of the area facilities were becoming full or overcrowded, so they were taking the people who had been in there the longest and shipping them out. According to David: The facility is bigger and better. The officers are nicer. There are a lot less restrictions--he can use the phone at any time, he can watch TV at any time, he was able to read some of the magazines I had sent him in Dodge County that they wouldn't allow for him and put into his property (SI Swimsuit Issue, Maxim), the food is better, and HE GETS TO GO OUTSIDE! And of course the weather is much warmer and sunnier down there. So his spirits have been raised significantly. Apparently the difference is that Dodge County was an actual County Jail that hosts immigration detainees, so it was much stricter. Pine Prairie is a former prison that was closed and sold to the federal government to use strictly as an ICE detention facility, so most of the people who are in there aren't exactly criminals like you would find in a county jail.
My attorney also was able to give me the info of one of her colleague's clients. He is in pretty much the same situation as David--applied for his U-Visa, has been in custody since August, got transferred to Pine Prairie about a week before David did. So I was able to give his name to David to see if he was able to find him in there. My attorney also gave me his wife's cell phone number and said that his wife told me to feel free to reach out. I finally did today, because David needed a little more info to be able to find her husband (what color he was wearing, what section he was in, etc). So we talked quite a bit by text message. She was incredibly nice and we exchanged a lot of information about each other's cases and what she had learned from her husband about what others were saying in there. Unfortunately I had to leave for work, but she says she's going to call me tomorrow. I have a million more questions for her as I'm sure she has for me. We are both extremely frustrated with how long this is all taking, so it's a breath of fresh air to have someone who is in pretty much the same situation as me to be able to talk to and relate to!!
The one thing that really stuck out to me, and was like a "WHOA" moment, was that she said she went to visit her husband last weekend. And she told me THEY ALLOW CONTACT THERE!! When I went to visit David in Dodge Co, it was behind glass and we had to talk through a phone. Apparently at Pine Prairie, contact visits ARE allowed (contrary to what the ICE website says). She said they could hug, kiss, he could hold the kids, etc. And that moment right there was a GAME-CHANGER. I pretty much made up my mind that, despite the 13-14 hour drive, I was going to visit David no matter what. If you tell me I have two straight hours with him, for two days in a row (she said she was able to visit BOTH Saturday and Sunday), AND I'm allowed to hug him and kiss him and touch him and hold his hand for the first time in over eight months?! UM YEAH. A 14-hour drive is NOTHING. I need that, so, so bad. And I'm sure he does too.
So now all I can think about is this visit. I've already got a tentative plan in the works--a couple people were very quick to offer to road-trip down there with me, so we're working on it--but it's going to happen no matter what. I'm hoping we can make it work for the last weekend in April, so we'll see. I was trying to be optimistic that he would be released by mid-April, but now talking to this woman, it seems like her husband is a couple weeks ahead of David as far as the application process. So maybe whatever happens with his case could be a good timeline of what will happen with David's case. Like, if they reach a decision with this guy's case, we should expect one a couple weeks after that. But it depends on her timeline too, like when she received their RFE and submitted the documents and all that, compared with when we did. But that will be information I'll get from her when I talk to her on the phone, hopefully.
But yeah, when she said they allowed contact, I instantly started weighing my possibilities for going down there. It's so crazy, like at first when I thought it was gonna be the same (no-contact visits) I was like yeah....I can't justify that drive, and/or taking off work just to go see him behind a freaking glass wall. I can write to him and talk to him on the phone and save the money I'd waste on traveling. But when you are told that you have the chance to hug, kiss, hold, touch, and be right next to the person you're in love with, when you haven't had that for 8+ months (which is how long it will be by the time I do see him), it's almost like--what WOULDN'T I give for that opportunity!! I talked to him a bit about it today. He said he would love to see me of course, but I know he's worried about me driving so far. But I'm not going to do it alone. And like I've said eight million times today--IT WOULD ALL BE WORTH IT, just to give him the biggest hug ever and kiss his lips and touch his face and hold his hand. All things I have been so desperate to be able to do since August, and now I'm being told I'm allowed to do them?!
I would drive halfway around the world for that chance.
Sunday, March 26, 2017
Don't Dream It's Over....
I had a bad dream last night.
It took place at my old house down in Florida. I've noticed that a LOT of dreams are taking place at that house lately. Crazy.
David and I had gotten in one of our stupid fights. We're talking some stupid argument as it usually is. In real life, this usually results in us going to bed angry and/or annoyed. Wake up in the morning, and one of two things happens--we both apologize, acknowledge how stupid the fight was, and make up, or he attempts to apologize and make up but I'm too much of a stubborn-ass to accept it, so I like to give him the cold shoulder and hold a grudge. Like I want to make him work for my acceptance of his apology. But I typically forgive him within a couple hours anyway. :-P
But in my dream last night, I woke up the morning after our fight, and didn't hear anything from him. I was all "Huh, well, he'll see!" Two days went by, and I still didn't hear from him. I had wanted to be the stubborn one holding a grudge, making him chase me, whatever. But after a couple days, I missed him. So I tried to text him. I got no response. After a couple of texts, I tried Facebook messenger. After a couple attempts to message him, I noticed he had all of a sudden blocked me. I got a little upset, not with him, but that I couldn't get through to him. So I tried to text him again but no response. I finally called him. It rang through to voicemail. I tried again and it went straight to voicemail. So then I tried his landline (???). A girl answered, a girl I recognized as someone I used to know and actually worked with like 5+ years ago. She claimed that David didn't want to talk with me. I begged and pleaded with her to let me talk to him but he was refusing. I felt so helpless. I couldn't get through to him and there was nothing I could do about it. I cannot remember her final words to me on that call, in that dream, but she implied that he was with her and they were both happy where they were and I should just give it up.
Needless to say, I was devastated. I realized that my stubbornness and my pride and my hard head had lost me the man I believed was my soulmate. I started crying hysterically and couldn't stop. Thank GOD I woke up in that moment. Coming out of the dream, of course I had confusion. First, did that happen? I'm alone in bed so maybe it did. But then the relief of realizing that it was just a dream. And then the reality of the fact that he is still not here with me. But also the relief that, despite our situation, we still have each other and we still love each other and we're both still in it for life.
But the message of the dream was loud and clear. DON'T BE THE STUBBORN ONE. Don't go to bed angry, don't hold grudges, don't always expect the other to continue chasing you without any effort on your part. Because what if? What if he decided he was tired of always chasing for no reason? What if he just doesn't want to deal with it anymore? What if he cuts and runs?
Of course, I don't ever expect David to resort to that. At least I would hope he wouldn't. We've been through enough of these situations that if he were gonna cut and run or get tired of chasing my forgiveness, we would have been broken up a long time ago (lol). But I also understand that I need to be a little less stubborn, a little more understanding, and a little more willing to forgive when he apologizes and asks for it. Instead of trying to be all stubborn and give him the cold shoulder and just seek that attention or that chase of him trying to get me to make up with him. Because one day it just might not turn out how I thought it would, and I could lose everything simply because of my pride and stubbornness.
And that is not worth it at ALL.
It took place at my old house down in Florida. I've noticed that a LOT of dreams are taking place at that house lately. Crazy.
David and I had gotten in one of our stupid fights. We're talking some stupid argument as it usually is. In real life, this usually results in us going to bed angry and/or annoyed. Wake up in the morning, and one of two things happens--we both apologize, acknowledge how stupid the fight was, and make up, or he attempts to apologize and make up but I'm too much of a stubborn-ass to accept it, so I like to give him the cold shoulder and hold a grudge. Like I want to make him work for my acceptance of his apology. But I typically forgive him within a couple hours anyway. :-P
But in my dream last night, I woke up the morning after our fight, and didn't hear anything from him. I was all "Huh, well, he'll see!" Two days went by, and I still didn't hear from him. I had wanted to be the stubborn one holding a grudge, making him chase me, whatever. But after a couple days, I missed him. So I tried to text him. I got no response. After a couple of texts, I tried Facebook messenger. After a couple attempts to message him, I noticed he had all of a sudden blocked me. I got a little upset, not with him, but that I couldn't get through to him. So I tried to text him again but no response. I finally called him. It rang through to voicemail. I tried again and it went straight to voicemail. So then I tried his landline (???). A girl answered, a girl I recognized as someone I used to know and actually worked with like 5+ years ago. She claimed that David didn't want to talk with me. I begged and pleaded with her to let me talk to him but he was refusing. I felt so helpless. I couldn't get through to him and there was nothing I could do about it. I cannot remember her final words to me on that call, in that dream, but she implied that he was with her and they were both happy where they were and I should just give it up.
Needless to say, I was devastated. I realized that my stubbornness and my pride and my hard head had lost me the man I believed was my soulmate. I started crying hysterically and couldn't stop. Thank GOD I woke up in that moment. Coming out of the dream, of course I had confusion. First, did that happen? I'm alone in bed so maybe it did. But then the relief of realizing that it was just a dream. And then the reality of the fact that he is still not here with me. But also the relief that, despite our situation, we still have each other and we still love each other and we're both still in it for life.
But the message of the dream was loud and clear. DON'T BE THE STUBBORN ONE. Don't go to bed angry, don't hold grudges, don't always expect the other to continue chasing you without any effort on your part. Because what if? What if he decided he was tired of always chasing for no reason? What if he just doesn't want to deal with it anymore? What if he cuts and runs?
Of course, I don't ever expect David to resort to that. At least I would hope he wouldn't. We've been through enough of these situations that if he were gonna cut and run or get tired of chasing my forgiveness, we would have been broken up a long time ago (lol). But I also understand that I need to be a little less stubborn, a little more understanding, and a little more willing to forgive when he apologizes and asks for it. Instead of trying to be all stubborn and give him the cold shoulder and just seek that attention or that chase of him trying to get me to make up with him. Because one day it just might not turn out how I thought it would, and I could lose everything simply because of my pride and stubbornness.
And that is not worth it at ALL.
Monday, March 20, 2017
THE ROOMMATE FROM HELL!! One year later....
Okay so it's been almost a whole year since we kicked out our Roommate From Hell™!!
Back then, I posted the story on Facebook in increments. Everyone got a kick out of it. I figured it would be good to post here, both for my factual necessity, and for those who never got to hear the complete story in the first place! ENJOY!!!
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The Roommate From Hell™!!
By Lauren Kuhn
Okay so here goes. There was this girl, Janice. She started working at my job at the Chew Chew in early February. She was supposed to take a week-long trip in the midst of her training, with her (7 month old) daughter and baby-daddy, to settle some custody issue with the dad's other daughter down in Florida (I didn't know this at this point). Anyway, we thought she wasn't gonna come back, because of the horrible luck of people sticking around at our job.
But she did! She came back, finished her training, and started working. She was a great employee. We all got along with her. And then all of a sudden her baby daddy (whom she was supposed to get married to and all that) kicked her out of the house one day, cried domestic violence against her (a six-foot black man, against a 5'3 Brazilian skinny-ass chick?), so she started living out of a hotel room. But in the midst of all this, despite her not having a car or anything, she did what she had to do to get to work, to get her daughter taken care of, to cover her bases. I saw it. I admired it. Having worked with people who would use any excuse to NOT come in to work, this girl was begging for shifts to make more money, saying she would work six days a week, to do whatever she could to support herself and her daughter during this difficult time.
So then she moves out of the hotel into a room with a friend on the north side of the city. At this point she's commuting 2-ish hours to and from work via public transportation. And I'm like--really? I have an empty room in my house. I live 7 minutes from work. I could provide her with a place to stay while she gets back on her feet, saves up her money for her own place, yada yada, right?
Yes, she had an 8-month-old. But she said she was such a happy baby, never cried, was such a joy. Okay, that's fine. Even if the baby cries sometimes, it's a kid. It's fine. We talked it over a little bit--and then all of a sudden she was moving in.
And everything was fine! For the first.....week.
So this bitch moves in. She sets up all her stuff in her room. So okay, in our house, we have two levels. Our bedroom and David's daughter's bedroom is upstairs. We also have a bathroom upstairs; however, we don't use the shower in there because I keep the cat's litter boxes in the tub. So we can use the bathroom up there, but we still shower downstairs. I told her that before she moved in. She was like "oh, well I have an inflatable duck I keep in the tub for Mima, but I can keep it in my room if I need to." Okay fine whatever.
Back then, I posted the story on Facebook in increments. Everyone got a kick out of it. I figured it would be good to post here, both for my factual necessity, and for those who never got to hear the complete story in the first place! ENJOY!!!
-------------
The Roommate From Hell™!!
By Lauren Kuhn
Okay so here goes. There was this girl, Janice. She started working at my job at the Chew Chew in early February. She was supposed to take a week-long trip in the midst of her training, with her (7 month old) daughter and baby-daddy, to settle some custody issue with the dad's other daughter down in Florida (I didn't know this at this point). Anyway, we thought she wasn't gonna come back, because of the horrible luck of people sticking around at our job.
But she did! She came back, finished her training, and started working. She was a great employee. We all got along with her. And then all of a sudden her baby daddy (whom she was supposed to get married to and all that) kicked her out of the house one day, cried domestic violence against her (a six-foot black man, against a 5'3 Brazilian skinny-ass chick?), so she started living out of a hotel room. But in the midst of all this, despite her not having a car or anything, she did what she had to do to get to work, to get her daughter taken care of, to cover her bases. I saw it. I admired it. Having worked with people who would use any excuse to NOT come in to work, this girl was begging for shifts to make more money, saying she would work six days a week, to do whatever she could to support herself and her daughter during this difficult time.
So then she moves out of the hotel into a room with a friend on the north side of the city. At this point she's commuting 2-ish hours to and from work via public transportation. And I'm like--really? I have an empty room in my house. I live 7 minutes from work. I could provide her with a place to stay while she gets back on her feet, saves up her money for her own place, yada yada, right?
Yes, she had an 8-month-old. But she said she was such a happy baby, never cried, was such a joy. Okay, that's fine. Even if the baby cries sometimes, it's a kid. It's fine. We talked it over a little bit--and then all of a sudden she was moving in.
And everything was fine! For the first.....week.
So this bitch moves in. She sets up all her stuff in her room. So okay, in our house, we have two levels. Our bedroom and David's daughter's bedroom is upstairs. We also have a bathroom upstairs; however, we don't use the shower in there because I keep the cat's litter boxes in the tub. So we can use the bathroom up there, but we still shower downstairs. I told her that before she moved in. She was like "oh, well I have an inflatable duck I keep in the tub for Mima, but I can keep it in my room if I need to." Okay fine whatever.
So she moves in. We're all working together. We're doing things like
getting food at work and eating together, or I'm cooking for us, or
she's cooking for us, and we're all eating at the kitchen table
together. Her baby is so cute and sweet and things are great. I'm like
"Sweet, we have a cool roommate with an adorable baby and I'm getting a
little extra rent money out of it!!"
Ummmm.......til things changed at the SNAP of a finger. Like, in a major WTF way.
So it was a Monday night. About a week after she moved in. David and I left to go find a new kitchen table. She wasn't feeling good, and she kept running to the bathroom (apparently to throw up) and we were holding the baby at that time. So we were about to leave, and she said she was gonna go to the ER because she kept throwing up.
Ummmm.......til things changed at the SNAP of a finger. Like, in a major WTF way.
So it was a Monday night. About a week after she moved in. David and I left to go find a new kitchen table. She wasn't feeling good, and she kept running to the bathroom (apparently to throw up) and we were holding the baby at that time. So we were about to leave, and she said she was gonna go to the ER because she kept throwing up.
Now, forgive me for the lack of compassion....when I'm throwing up, I
deal with it in my own house and move on with my life. Which you'll see
soon enough.
So she dumps the baby with the babysitter, we go to the furniture store, she goes to the ER. We buy a kitchen table. Then we go to Applebee's afterwards for dinner and a margarita (Keep in mind, this was National Margarita Day, hah!). But honestly whatever. We had dinner, drinks, came home, and went to sleep. She didn't come back home that night.
I woke up the next morning feeling like death.
This is a Tuesday I will never forget. I woke up at 7:00 in the morning, feeling like death. My stomach was churning like a mofo. I hadn't even drank that much the night before, but this was worse than any hangover I had EVER had. I tried to sleep or at least rest before I had to work that day. Found out Janice came home during the early afternoon, and called in to work like two hours before she had to be there (she was only training behind the bar, but still), and she said she had a doctor's note for the next few days. So of course when she called in, I knew I couldn't call in too (such are the ails of working in a restaurant), so I showed up to work.
So she dumps the baby with the babysitter, we go to the furniture store, she goes to the ER. We buy a kitchen table. Then we go to Applebee's afterwards for dinner and a margarita (Keep in mind, this was National Margarita Day, hah!). But honestly whatever. We had dinner, drinks, came home, and went to sleep. She didn't come back home that night.
I woke up the next morning feeling like death.
This is a Tuesday I will never forget. I woke up at 7:00 in the morning, feeling like death. My stomach was churning like a mofo. I hadn't even drank that much the night before, but this was worse than any hangover I had EVER had. I tried to sleep or at least rest before I had to work that day. Found out Janice came home during the early afternoon, and called in to work like two hours before she had to be there (she was only training behind the bar, but still), and she said she had a doctor's note for the next few days. So of course when she called in, I knew I couldn't call in too (such are the ails of working in a restaurant), so I showed up to work.
Long story short--I showed up to work, my boss caught me almost falling
on the ground, thank God he sent me home once the other servers got
there, and then I ended up throwing up all over the place anyway. It was
a fun night. NOT.
So Janice, after being in the ER, had all these prescriptions available to her that she was offering to me. She had something for the nausea (which I took), something for IBS (which she offered to me but I didn't need), and Oxycontin, which she offered me for the pain, but I was like "WTF? I just have to vomit, I don't need Oxy for this shit!"
But let's focus on her and the Oxycontin.
So! This Friday afternoon was the afternoon leading into CHIVERISH!! We had planned for this girl to take over our shit for the weekend in anticipation of Chiverish. Watching our cats, our house, etc etc...but apparently she showed up at work, after she called in two minutes after having to be there, strung out and not focusing on anyone.....yeah. Obviously we were still going, And she was still strung out.
So then what happens?
Okay, also addressing something about the Oxy--apparently this girl had kidney problems, and her kidneys were in pain when she went to the ER that first time, so maybe that's why they gave her the Oxy. I think.
So Janice, after being in the ER, had all these prescriptions available to her that she was offering to me. She had something for the nausea (which I took), something for IBS (which she offered to me but I didn't need), and Oxycontin, which she offered me for the pain, but I was like "WTF? I just have to vomit, I don't need Oxy for this shit!"
But let's focus on her and the Oxycontin.
So! This Friday afternoon was the afternoon leading into CHIVERISH!! We had planned for this girl to take over our shit for the weekend in anticipation of Chiverish. Watching our cats, our house, etc etc...but apparently she showed up at work, after she called in two minutes after having to be there, strung out and not focusing on anyone.....yeah. Obviously we were still going, And she was still strung out.
So then what happens?
Her baby cries NONSTOP. I''m fully convinced it's because she's being neglected.
This bitch starts taking advantage of everything we're trying to offer to her. And I can see, in her eyes, every time I talk to her, she is strung out, she's not all there, she is out of it. I don't like that.
She calls in sick two more times, and loses her job at our restaurant.
At this point I'm so over her bullshit. She's strung out on pills or whatever, I don't know, I don't care, but it shouldn't be my problem!
So I say....."You know what? My brother was trying to buy a house, but it fell through, so now he needs a place to live until he can find a house, so you have to be out on April 1st...."
This bitch starts taking advantage of everything we're trying to offer to her. And I can see, in her eyes, every time I talk to her, she is strung out, she's not all there, she is out of it. I don't like that.
She calls in sick two more times, and loses her job at our restaurant.
At this point I'm so over her bullshit. She's strung out on pills or whatever, I don't know, I don't care, but it shouldn't be my problem!
So I say....."You know what? My brother was trying to buy a house, but it fell through, so now he needs a place to live until he can find a house, so you have to be out on April 1st...."
Okay, also addressing something about the Oxy--apparently this girl had kidney problems, and her kidneys were in pain when she went to the ER that first time, so maybe that's why they gave her the Oxy. I think.
Anyway, so we get home from the weekend and the house is still
intact--phew. But this girl does NOTHING. She's sleeping 20 hours a day,
with the baby too! How do you get a baby to sleep that much?! She's not
looking for a job, she's not doing ANYTHING, I'm like wtf?!
Oh, also during this time, she is using our washer and dryer NONSTOP. She's doing multiple loads of clothes, and multiple times! We finally had to tell her to stop it because she was totally taking advantage. She claimed my cats peed on her stuff. HAH. First, they pee in the littler box. Second, you'd smell that crap all through the house if they really did pee on your stuff!!
Soooo we finally get fed up. Like I said before, we told her she had to be out by April 1st. I made up the stuff about my brother so that, hopefully, there would be less drama involved. Surprisingly, she was totally fine with it. She said she might get a bartending job in the city with a friend of hers, and they'd probably get a place together out that way. Okay. So that's good. Only a couple more weeks with this psycho....
And then one day she leaves the house.....and doesn't come back. I finally get a FB message from her--she is in the hospital again! WTF! She ends up being there for TEN DAYS. The baby was initially with the sitter, but then the dad ended up taking her.
You guys...that ten days was GLORIOUS. But then I started getting worried. She wasn't looking for another place to live...she wasn't looking for a job.....wtf, was she going to be able to leave my house?!
Then one day, I go into her room to put some mail on her bed. And I'm like....it is FREEZING in here!! Did she leave a window open?! I push back the blinds, and--the window is SMASHED! Like, holes in the glass of both the storm window AND the regular window!! I called David downstairs to look, and I'm like "WTF happened in here?!" In the end, we decided not to say anything to her and see if she mentioned it after she got home. She didn't. Surprise surprise.
So she finally comes home from the hospital. I very rarely see her over the next few days, but she doesn't mention anything about the window. She turned the heat up a couple times, and I kept turning it down (I keep it at 66 or 67 in the winter). If it's cold in your room, fix the window bitch!
Anyway, the day before she's supposed to be out, of course she asks David if she can use his trailer. She can't afford a mover or to rent a truck (surprise surprise) and he's like, you freeloading bitch!! He resisted a little, but in the end we just wanted her out, so he's like "Fine, I'll do it." She claimed she would throw him some gas money--yeah right.
Next day is moving day. FINALLY! She's packing and stuff, and OF COURSE she starts doing laundry. Uh-uh. I had a couple loads I needed to do, so once her first load was finished, I put it in the dryer and put MY stuff in. When it was done, David and I went downstairs so I could put my stuff in the dryer and he could put a load in the wash. We go down to the basement--she already had put my stuff in the dryer, and another load in the wash!! WTF! And she had her sheets in a pile on the table, and another pile on her bed which I'm assuming she was going to do next. I'm like no way, as far as I'm concerned you no longer live here, go to the damn laundromat, you're not doing your laundry for free!
But then, upon opening the washer, I see her comforter stuffed in there. And I notice the bucket hadn't been agitating like it should at that point in the cycle. So I shut the lid again. Nothing. And then I smell the faint burning smell. I'm like OH NO THIS BITCH DID NOT JUST BREAK MY WASHING MACHINE!!! So David starts trying to pull the comforter out and it's just STUCK in there. Why the hell are you trying to wash this giant comforter in a small washing machine anyway?!
Well, she's at CVS and I had to take a shower before work so we just left the stuff there. But we tried the knob on a couple different settings and it did start working again, so I was like--thank goodness for that. She got back while I was in the shower, and David took her downstairs to show her that her comforter was stuck and the washing machine wasn't working. He left her down there to try to get it out.
She comes back upstairs and says "Okay, I got it out. The machine is working now." I go back down to the basement, open the washer--and she has a completely different load in there! I just go "HELL NO" and take everything, soaking wet, out of the washing machine and dump it in the sink on top of the comforter. I went back upstairs and said, "I took all your stuff out of the washer. It still smells like burning and I want to give the machine a rest so it doesn't break, so please don't do any more laundry in there." She tried to claim, again, that the cat peed on her comforter. I'm like "They don't just go around peeing on things. Whatever. Just go to the laundromat."
So I leave for work with the knowledge that she will be GONE when I get home--yay!!
So her baby daddy comes at like 6:00 that night to help her move. David gives them NO help loading or unloading, except to just drive the trailer to where she needs to go. But he's hanging out in the kitchen to make sure they aren't taking anything that isn't theirs. At one point he goes in to one of our cabinets and notices she took all his canned goods--the good stuff--while leaving her own generic crap that she got from the food pantry, in the cabinet. He calls her over and asks if she's gonna take her cans. She goes, "Oh, I already got them." He says, "No, those were mine. You took the wrong ones." She was like "Oh no, they were mine!" WTF. So he goes "Whatever, just keep them, but get these out of here, I'm not going to eat them." So she takes those.
Oh, also during this time, she is using our washer and dryer NONSTOP. She's doing multiple loads of clothes, and multiple times! We finally had to tell her to stop it because she was totally taking advantage. She claimed my cats peed on her stuff. HAH. First, they pee in the littler box. Second, you'd smell that crap all through the house if they really did pee on your stuff!!
Soooo we finally get fed up. Like I said before, we told her she had to be out by April 1st. I made up the stuff about my brother so that, hopefully, there would be less drama involved. Surprisingly, she was totally fine with it. She said she might get a bartending job in the city with a friend of hers, and they'd probably get a place together out that way. Okay. So that's good. Only a couple more weeks with this psycho....
And then one day she leaves the house.....and doesn't come back. I finally get a FB message from her--she is in the hospital again! WTF! She ends up being there for TEN DAYS. The baby was initially with the sitter, but then the dad ended up taking her.
You guys...that ten days was GLORIOUS. But then I started getting worried. She wasn't looking for another place to live...she wasn't looking for a job.....wtf, was she going to be able to leave my house?!
Then one day, I go into her room to put some mail on her bed. And I'm like....it is FREEZING in here!! Did she leave a window open?! I push back the blinds, and--the window is SMASHED! Like, holes in the glass of both the storm window AND the regular window!! I called David downstairs to look, and I'm like "WTF happened in here?!" In the end, we decided not to say anything to her and see if she mentioned it after she got home. She didn't. Surprise surprise.
So she finally comes home from the hospital. I very rarely see her over the next few days, but she doesn't mention anything about the window. She turned the heat up a couple times, and I kept turning it down (I keep it at 66 or 67 in the winter). If it's cold in your room, fix the window bitch!
Anyway, the day before she's supposed to be out, of course she asks David if she can use his trailer. She can't afford a mover or to rent a truck (surprise surprise) and he's like, you freeloading bitch!! He resisted a little, but in the end we just wanted her out, so he's like "Fine, I'll do it." She claimed she would throw him some gas money--yeah right.
Next day is moving day. FINALLY! She's packing and stuff, and OF COURSE she starts doing laundry. Uh-uh. I had a couple loads I needed to do, so once her first load was finished, I put it in the dryer and put MY stuff in. When it was done, David and I went downstairs so I could put my stuff in the dryer and he could put a load in the wash. We go down to the basement--she already had put my stuff in the dryer, and another load in the wash!! WTF! And she had her sheets in a pile on the table, and another pile on her bed which I'm assuming she was going to do next. I'm like no way, as far as I'm concerned you no longer live here, go to the damn laundromat, you're not doing your laundry for free!
But then, upon opening the washer, I see her comforter stuffed in there. And I notice the bucket hadn't been agitating like it should at that point in the cycle. So I shut the lid again. Nothing. And then I smell the faint burning smell. I'm like OH NO THIS BITCH DID NOT JUST BREAK MY WASHING MACHINE!!! So David starts trying to pull the comforter out and it's just STUCK in there. Why the hell are you trying to wash this giant comforter in a small washing machine anyway?!
Well, she's at CVS and I had to take a shower before work so we just left the stuff there. But we tried the knob on a couple different settings and it did start working again, so I was like--thank goodness for that. She got back while I was in the shower, and David took her downstairs to show her that her comforter was stuck and the washing machine wasn't working. He left her down there to try to get it out.
She comes back upstairs and says "Okay, I got it out. The machine is working now." I go back down to the basement, open the washer--and she has a completely different load in there! I just go "HELL NO" and take everything, soaking wet, out of the washing machine and dump it in the sink on top of the comforter. I went back upstairs and said, "I took all your stuff out of the washer. It still smells like burning and I want to give the machine a rest so it doesn't break, so please don't do any more laundry in there." She tried to claim, again, that the cat peed on her comforter. I'm like "They don't just go around peeing on things. Whatever. Just go to the laundromat."
So I leave for work with the knowledge that she will be GONE when I get home--yay!!
So her baby daddy comes at like 6:00 that night to help her move. David gives them NO help loading or unloading, except to just drive the trailer to where she needs to go. But he's hanging out in the kitchen to make sure they aren't taking anything that isn't theirs. At one point he goes in to one of our cabinets and notices she took all his canned goods--the good stuff--while leaving her own generic crap that she got from the food pantry, in the cabinet. He calls her over and asks if she's gonna take her cans. She goes, "Oh, I already got them." He says, "No, those were mine. You took the wrong ones." She was like "Oh no, they were mine!" WTF. So he goes "Whatever, just keep them, but get these out of here, I'm not going to eat them." So she takes those.
He also
asked her about the window at one point. "Oh, that was like that when I
moved in." BULLSHIT. 1) The blinds were open the day you moved in, and
the windows were completely intact! and 2) So you were sleeping in a
room with your baby when it was 20 degrees outside and you NEVER
bothered to say something to us, like, "Hey guys, are you gonna fix this
window??" Whatever. Not that I expected any money from her to fix it,
but seriously! Take some damn responsibility!!
So she leaves with little to no drama.....THANK GOD. But then later that night and over the next few days, we find things missing here and there. Some of our glasses. Some of our silverware. Two rolls of aluminum foil, a roll of plastic wrap, Ziploc bags, and a huge roll of big garbage bags. Some of my cleaning supplies. It's like--are you effing serious?! THAT WAS NOT YOUR STUFF. I paid for that stuff!! So what if we had three rolls of aluminum foil? IT WAS NOT yours to take!! I don't care if you thought we needed it or not--I PAID for it, it's MINE.
So yeah. I'm still finding little things like "Where did this go?" And stuff like that. So I'm still getting pissed off. She's got all this welfare and free shit and she is STILL taking my stuff. Not to mention getting her nails done and going to the gym and stuff....when she SHOULD BE LOOKING FOR A JOB. UGGGHHHHH. And you guys wonder why I don't support that kind of crap?!
Anyway, the important thing is, she's GONE. And I will never, ever do that again. I just feel bad for that poor kid. She doesn't have a prayer. Two deadbeat, ignorant, irresponsible parents to bring her up. She'll be growing up on welfare, just to end up the same way! Good freaking luck.
So she leaves with little to no drama.....THANK GOD. But then later that night and over the next few days, we find things missing here and there. Some of our glasses. Some of our silverware. Two rolls of aluminum foil, a roll of plastic wrap, Ziploc bags, and a huge roll of big garbage bags. Some of my cleaning supplies. It's like--are you effing serious?! THAT WAS NOT YOUR STUFF. I paid for that stuff!! So what if we had three rolls of aluminum foil? IT WAS NOT yours to take!! I don't care if you thought we needed it or not--I PAID for it, it's MINE.
So yeah. I'm still finding little things like "Where did this go?" And stuff like that. So I'm still getting pissed off. She's got all this welfare and free shit and she is STILL taking my stuff. Not to mention getting her nails done and going to the gym and stuff....when she SHOULD BE LOOKING FOR A JOB. UGGGHHHHH. And you guys wonder why I don't support that kind of crap?!
Anyway, the important thing is, she's GONE. And I will never, ever do that again. I just feel bad for that poor kid. She doesn't have a prayer. Two deadbeat, ignorant, irresponsible parents to bring her up. She'll be growing up on welfare, just to end up the same way! Good freaking luck.
Wednesday, March 8, 2017
Counting My Blessings
Despite everything that has been going on with David's situation, and life in general, in the last seven months, I've been trying to keep the most positive attitude I can. It's hard sometimes, but I figure I have a choice--I can either pull the covers over my head, sulk, be miserable and depressed, have a shitty attitude, and negatively affect others around me. Or I can continue to face life head-on, be optimistic, look at the bright side of whatever I can, and take the support and love I have all around me and channel that into the most positive attitude I can muster.
Being happy and having a good attitude, even while David is away in that shithole, doesn't mean that I'm happy with the situation. But it's the best way I can choose to react to the situation.
"A negative attitude drains, a positive attitude energizes." -Lindsey Rietzsch
How true that is! When I've been at my lowest, and at my darkest, in the past seven months, if I allow myself to let whatever I'm feeling show through my attitude, it has ALWAYS made me feel absolutely worse. But it's the days I show up to work, or I show up to get-togethers, or I show up wherever, and I choose to be positive and happy and engaging, that I actually *FEEL* better overall. Even to the point of allowing myself to blast "Call Me Maybe" in the car and belt out the words with the windows down even if people are looking, it's ENERGIZING.
But one of the most important things I've been doing is counting my blessings. I pray a lot more now. I thank God for what I have and what I am blessed with. And I really sit and think about those blessings. The amazing things in my life, despite the hardships. This past weekend with my Chive family just serves to reinforce all the great things and people I have in my life.
Every single person that embraced me this past weekend is a blessing. Every single person who reiterated their support, kissed David's face-on-a-stick (LOL), offered kind words, and was just THERE for me, is a blessing. Despite this incredible hardship, my life is so full, and a lot of it is because of all these wonderful people that David and I have been so fortunate to meet and be able to call friends. TRUE friends.
And it's because of them, along with our amazing families, and so many customers at work who have grown to feel like family, and all of our other friends and loved ones....that I'm able to make it through day by day waiting for news about David's situation.
Speaking of work, tonight I officially accepted a "promotion" of sorts at my job, which is another blessing I'm so thankful for. I will essentially be the bar manager, which comes with a bit more responsibility and an hourly raise, which is always awesome. I'm thankful for this opportunity and glad that my boss feels I'm worthy of it. So we'll see how this goes!
In any case, I do have a lot to be thankful for, regardless of the shitty things that are going on in my life. But hopefully those shitty things will be over soon and life can return back to normal and I can once again be reunited with my other half. I cannot wait for that day.
Being happy and having a good attitude, even while David is away in that shithole, doesn't mean that I'm happy with the situation. But it's the best way I can choose to react to the situation.
"A negative attitude drains, a positive attitude energizes." -Lindsey Rietzsch
How true that is! When I've been at my lowest, and at my darkest, in the past seven months, if I allow myself to let whatever I'm feeling show through my attitude, it has ALWAYS made me feel absolutely worse. But it's the days I show up to work, or I show up to get-togethers, or I show up wherever, and I choose to be positive and happy and engaging, that I actually *FEEL* better overall. Even to the point of allowing myself to blast "Call Me Maybe" in the car and belt out the words with the windows down even if people are looking, it's ENERGIZING.
But one of the most important things I've been doing is counting my blessings. I pray a lot more now. I thank God for what I have and what I am blessed with. And I really sit and think about those blessings. The amazing things in my life, despite the hardships. This past weekend with my Chive family just serves to reinforce all the great things and people I have in my life.
Every single person that embraced me this past weekend is a blessing. Every single person who reiterated their support, kissed David's face-on-a-stick (LOL), offered kind words, and was just THERE for me, is a blessing. Despite this incredible hardship, my life is so full, and a lot of it is because of all these wonderful people that David and I have been so fortunate to meet and be able to call friends. TRUE friends.
And it's because of them, along with our amazing families, and so many customers at work who have grown to feel like family, and all of our other friends and loved ones....that I'm able to make it through day by day waiting for news about David's situation.
Speaking of work, tonight I officially accepted a "promotion" of sorts at my job, which is another blessing I'm so thankful for. I will essentially be the bar manager, which comes with a bit more responsibility and an hourly raise, which is always awesome. I'm thankful for this opportunity and glad that my boss feels I'm worthy of it. So we'll see how this goes!
In any case, I do have a lot to be thankful for, regardless of the shitty things that are going on in my life. But hopefully those shitty things will be over soon and life can return back to normal and I can once again be reunited with my other half. I cannot wait for that day.
Tuesday, March 7, 2017
Chiverish 2017
Let me preface this post by saying this:
I AM SOOOOO HAPPY THAT I WENT!!!
This past weekend was nothing short of amazing. I had such a blast, saw so many wonderful people, and wish I could go back right now.
Kiss Me I'm CHIVErish is always an amazing time. It was incredibly bittersweet this year because my other half couldn't be there with me. So of course it's a little weird. The Chive is our "thing." It's how we bonded. It's how we both, after divorces, built up a foundation of new friends together after our old lives weren't the same anymore. It's how we got so involved in charity and the community. It's basically how we got engaged. If David isn't here for a major Chive event with me....it's just not the same.
But man, did my amazing Chive friends pull through. Hugs for days! Left and right people showing their support and love for David and me. There are no words to express something like that unless you're in the position.
I saw so, so, so many people that I haven't seen in quite a while. And every single one of them--once we saw each other, we came running into each others' arms with huge smiles on our faces. There's nothing that can really describe that feeling--again, unless you're experiencing it.
I had my David on a stick with me the whole night. It almost--ALMOST--made it feel like he was actually with me. At least he was in pretty much all of my pictures!! :-D And to see the way so many people reacted to him--grabbing him, embracing him, kissing him on the cheek, LOL...it showed how many people really do care about him, miss him, and hope for the best in this stupid situation we're in. I can't express my appreciation enough.
I made a lot of new friends this weekend. It's nearly impossible to walk away from a Chiverish weekend without making at least a handful of new friends that you'll carry with you for a long time to come. Chivers are like that. They're good-hearted people who care about others, who support their friends, who would do anything for someone in need. That's why we're Chivers in the first place after all.
It's also so great to see so many amazing couples every year. There are a few that really stand out to me, who are not only incredibly adorable, but who honor each other, respect each other, stand by each other, and partake in these events together to try to put a little bit of good back into the world. You probably know who you are, most likely because I've made a post about how freaking cute you are. LOL. But I love you and respect you and keep doing what you're doing! (And please for the love of God stay together!!! Haha)
This weekend, over the entire weekend, we raised over $45,000 for charity!! From the Chive On Chicago FB page:
"Chive Nation. Over the years many of the faces have changed, but the mission hasn't... to party with a purpose.
This weekend, members from across the continent united in Chicago for Kiss Me I'm CHIVErish 2017. We've always been proud of its success - but this year, well this year you just outdid yourselves and our wildest expectations. Are you ready to know what we accomplished TOGETHER?!
*$560 - Ottawa disaster relief
To buy much needed supplies after Tuesday's tornado.
*$1,500 - CreatiVets
Our amazing Berry IL team coordinated a Sunday brunch that cured much more than our hangovers, it also helped enroll our member into their PTSD program.
*$9,200 - The Special Olympics of Chicago
Our philanthropy team threw caution to the wind and jumped in Lake Michigan to raise money with this year's Polar Plunge... and they're not even done yet! So please keep donating to their campaign.
*$34,197 - The People's Music School
That's enough to fund the musical education of 17 of Chicago's youths. Seriously, that's an entire classroom!
GRAND TOTAL - $45,457!!
'Misfit' is defined as: "A person whose behavior or attitude sets them apart from others". Well that's exactly what we are.
Thank you to everyone that came out (whether old or new) to support Chive On Chicago and pay it forward."
I AM SOOOOO HAPPY THAT I WENT!!!
This past weekend was nothing short of amazing. I had such a blast, saw so many wonderful people, and wish I could go back right now.
Kiss Me I'm CHIVErish is always an amazing time. It was incredibly bittersweet this year because my other half couldn't be there with me. So of course it's a little weird. The Chive is our "thing." It's how we bonded. It's how we both, after divorces, built up a foundation of new friends together after our old lives weren't the same anymore. It's how we got so involved in charity and the community. It's basically how we got engaged. If David isn't here for a major Chive event with me....it's just not the same.
But man, did my amazing Chive friends pull through. Hugs for days! Left and right people showing their support and love for David and me. There are no words to express something like that unless you're in the position.
I saw so, so, so many people that I haven't seen in quite a while. And every single one of them--once we saw each other, we came running into each others' arms with huge smiles on our faces. There's nothing that can really describe that feeling--again, unless you're experiencing it.
I had my David on a stick with me the whole night. It almost--ALMOST--made it feel like he was actually with me. At least he was in pretty much all of my pictures!! :-D And to see the way so many people reacted to him--grabbing him, embracing him, kissing him on the cheek, LOL...it showed how many people really do care about him, miss him, and hope for the best in this stupid situation we're in. I can't express my appreciation enough.
I made a lot of new friends this weekend. It's nearly impossible to walk away from a Chiverish weekend without making at least a handful of new friends that you'll carry with you for a long time to come. Chivers are like that. They're good-hearted people who care about others, who support their friends, who would do anything for someone in need. That's why we're Chivers in the first place after all.
It's also so great to see so many amazing couples every year. There are a few that really stand out to me, who are not only incredibly adorable, but who honor each other, respect each other, stand by each other, and partake in these events together to try to put a little bit of good back into the world. You probably know who you are, most likely because I've made a post about how freaking cute you are. LOL. But I love you and respect you and keep doing what you're doing! (And please for the love of God stay together!!! Haha)
This weekend, over the entire weekend, we raised over $45,000 for charity!! From the Chive On Chicago FB page:
"Chive Nation. Over the years many of the faces have changed, but the mission hasn't... to party with a purpose.
This weekend, members from across the continent united in Chicago for Kiss Me I'm CHIVErish 2017. We've always been proud of its success - but this year, well this year you just outdid yourselves and our wildest expectations. Are you ready to know what we accomplished TOGETHER?!
*$560 - Ottawa disaster relief
To buy much needed supplies after Tuesday's tornado.
*$1,500 - CreatiVets
Our amazing Berry IL team coordinated a Sunday brunch that cured much more than our hangovers, it also helped enroll our member into their PTSD program.
*$9,200 - The Special Olympics of Chicago
Our philanthropy team threw caution to the wind and jumped in Lake Michigan to raise money with this year's Polar Plunge... and they're not even done yet! So please keep donating to their campaign.
*$34,197 - The People's Music School
That's enough to fund the musical education of 17 of Chicago's youths. Seriously, that's an entire classroom!
GRAND TOTAL - $45,457!!
'Misfit' is defined as: "A person whose behavior or attitude sets them apart from others". Well that's exactly what we are.
Thank you to everyone that came out (whether old or new) to support Chive On Chicago and pay it forward."
I couldn't be happier to be a part of such an outstanding group of people. The Chive has changed my life. I've met some of my closest friends through this organization, helped countless people, and I hope it just keeps going and going.
To Liz and Jeremy: I don't know WHY you wanted to be friends with us, but you did, and now we are Chive roomies for life! You guys are amazing in all you do for the chapter, the philanthropy work, and just being awesome people in general. We love you two and we are so fortunate to have you in our lives. I'm sorry if I snored at all this past weekend. :-D
To Cami: I just met you this past weekend (FINALLY) but thank you thank you thank you! For being my savior from creepy guys, for being the best dance partner ever, and for just being the cool and sweet YOU. You're awesome and I'm happy to have you in my life now!
To Cami: I just met you this past weekend (FINALLY) but thank you thank you thank you! For being my savior from creepy guys, for being the best dance partner ever, and for just being the cool and sweet YOU. You're awesome and I'm happy to have you in my life now!
To Katie: I just had this FEELING that you were going to be at Chiverish, even though you were making stupid pathetic excuses about why you couldn't come from Boston! So when someone posted that you were there, I was like I EFFING KNEW IT!!! And I'm soooo glad! I miss you so much. And damn you for that heart-to-heart. I mean, I appreciate it. I need to hear those things sometimes. But shoot how many times am I going to cry at Chiverish! (Apparently twice--once after your talk, and once after the bagpipes, lol.) I love you and miss you so much and I can't wait to be able to go to Boston and visit you finally!
To Andy and Jess: We haven't known each other that long, but you're already like family. Jess, my girl, my sista, going to the mall and brunch and being able to talk about anything. Andy, my annoying-ass little brother whose arm I want to break off. But I wouldn't trade it for the world! You guys are great and I can't wait until you move up here!
To Rolly and Amy: The two best photographers ever in this entire world forever. I love you guys. Thanks for the hugs, the supportive words, and the amazing photos of the event!!!
To Lu Go: Fuck you <3
To my Wisco loves: I'm so glad you came down again, it's always a treat to see you and hopefully we'll be making it up there more often from now on??
And finally to Holub, Henry, Pack, and everyone else who made this event happen: Thank you. From the bottom of my bittersweet heart, thank you. Forever. <3 <3
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